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Original poster

Bridesmaid etiquette?!

80 replies

Kelrick · 03/10/2024 21:21

Hello! I recently asked one of my best friends to be my bridesmaid, we’ve known each other for 20 years! We have discussed all things wedding and how to involve me three kids etc, it’s all feeling very special!!

She has now said she’s been asked to be a bridesmaid for a girl she used to hate and now they are ‘acquaintance's’ as this girl drinks in the pub my best friend works in, I kind of laughed when she told me until she said she was serious and actually considering it🙈

This girl wants her wedding around the same time as me and I feel like she should be saying no😬 in my head I’m thinking does she just say yes to anyone that asks her to be a bridesmaid? Is my bridal party going to be compromised because her head will be half with me now and half with her? Is there not some sort of bridesmaid etiquette that you jsut don’t say yes to being one while you are already one?!

OP posts:
Chocolatelover13 · 10/10/2024 11:25

If you said to me that you had concerns that I was going to be a bridesmaid for someone else having already agreeing to be yours I would immediately decline to be yours. Being a bridesmaid should be helping choose a dress, sorting a hen do (evening meal and drinks, not a week abroad, 20 nights out and ridiculous games etc), and helping on the day. Anything more is too much of an ask.

housethatbuiltme · 10/10/2024 11:27

Is my bridal party going to be compromised because her head will be half with me now and half with her?

What do you think will be compromised?

You do know that being bridesmaid is a gesture of YOU honoring her for being your friend raising her slightly above other guests. She doesn't have to do anything she not your worker or servant so nothing to be 'compromised'.

nosleepforme · 10/10/2024 11:29

Sounds like you need to be asking your bridesmaids to sign a non compete clause. Woah!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General relationships Weddings
ELMhouse · 10/10/2024 11:32

Don’t be mental. This has to be a wind up!

when I got married I was bridesmaid for my friends who were getting married either side of my wedding and they were also bridesmaids at each others and my wedding too. So loads of weddings and being bridesmaids for each other all in the space of two months!

what the heck are you expecting your bridesmaid to actually do!? You get a day and a hen do (if you are having one) that bridesmaid usually help organise and also on the day help with certain tasks!

NotSoHotMess24 · 10/10/2024 11:37

Unless it's the groom doing the same role with another person elsewhere, I wouldn't worry.

I think planning a wedding is such a stressful and expensive affair these days, it is easy to lose perspective a bit x

tuvamoodyson · 10/10/2024 11:37
Signing Bounty Hunter GIF by DefyTV

‘…and just here where it says I cannot be anyone else’s bridesmaid again, and here…..and here…..

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/10/2024 11:37

How close together are the dates?

Margorett · 10/10/2024 11:41

Good grief, what planet are you one, she's being a bridesmaid, its not really a big deal ! Bridezilla the Movie lol

DrinkElephants · 10/10/2024 11:42

This can’t be real….

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 10/10/2024 11:42

@Kelrick you ask 'Does she just say yes to anyone who asks her to be a bridesmaid?

She probably does - it's a huge honour to be asked so why would she say no?

I'm in my sixties and I've never been a bridesmaid. It's a real (although obviously trivial) sadness to me. It's never going to happen now. I'm jealous of your friend and also impressed that she is nice enough to be so in demand.

Strictlymad · 10/10/2024 11:42

I’m sure she can manage to put on a different frock on two separate days in the same season

Jifmicroliquid · 10/10/2024 11:46

I was bridesmaid 3 weeks apart for different people. It wasn’t an issue because the brides didn’t think the world revolved around them…

Naunet · 10/10/2024 11:51

Is my bridal party going to be compromised because her head will be half with me now and half with her?

No it won’t OP, 0.5% will be with you, 0.5% will be with the other bride and the rest will be focused on her own life.

Linux20 · 10/10/2024 11:51

Oh my goodness. The year I got married we went to 9 other weddings. I was bridesmaid at 2 (one 3 weeks after mine), my husband was bestman at one and an usher at 2. My cousin was one of my bridesmaids and as she didn’t live nearby she didn’t even come to dress fittings or the hen do, she arrived the day before the wedding.
when did being a bridesmaid become a full time job. Unless the wedding is the same weekend, you need to chill out.

BanditsWife · 10/10/2024 11:51

You are confusing being a bridesmaid with being a bride.

You can be a bridesmaid to more than one person at the same time.

You cannot be a bride to more than one person at the same time.

HTH

Linux20 · 10/10/2024 11:52

Strictlymad · 10/10/2024 11:42

I’m sure she can manage to put on a different frock on two separate days in the same season

This made me laugh out loud! 😂

AuntieLemonade · 10/10/2024 11:57

Bigamy is only relevant to the ones getting married…
everyone else can do as many weddings in a season as they like 🤣

friendlycat · 10/10/2024 11:57

As somebody has recently mentioned, it sounds as though you are confusing being a bride with a bridesmaid.

These types of comments really are strange as for you the bride, the groom and your 3 children you obviously have far more of a connection to the wedding event than others. For the bridesmaid and wedding guests one assumes they are happy for you, but it is just another wedding. It's just a fact.

Coconutter24 · 10/10/2024 11:58

Unless the wedding is on the same weekend as yours I don’t understand the problem.

MassiveOvaryaction · 10/10/2024 12:08

Tf did I just read?! 😂 @Kelrick give your head a wobble. Unless there's a massive drip feed coming of both weddings being on the same day? Although if she's clever maybe she could persuade you both to pick the same venue and shift between the 2?!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 10/10/2024 12:21

Brace yourself OP for this- but no one else cares that much about your wedding, irrespective of another wedding. Your day is only special to you.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 10/10/2024 12:30

Kelrick · 03/10/2024 21:21

Hello! I recently asked one of my best friends to be my bridesmaid, we’ve known each other for 20 years! We have discussed all things wedding and how to involve me three kids etc, it’s all feeling very special!!

She has now said she’s been asked to be a bridesmaid for a girl she used to hate and now they are ‘acquaintance's’ as this girl drinks in the pub my best friend works in, I kind of laughed when she told me until she said she was serious and actually considering it🙈

This girl wants her wedding around the same time as me and I feel like she should be saying no😬 in my head I’m thinking does she just say yes to anyone that asks her to be a bridesmaid? Is my bridal party going to be compromised because her head will be half with me now and half with her? Is there not some sort of bridesmaid etiquette that you jsut don’t say yes to being one while you are already one?!

No! It'll be fine so long as there's at least a week or so between the weddings. Being a bridesmaid shouldn't be a full time job. Though I agree it's quite surprising that she is doing this for someone she used to hate. Anyway, she's still your best friend.

Purplecatshopaholic · 10/10/2024 12:41

Oh come on op, step away from the Bridezilla Juice, and don’t be so silly!

VivaDixie · 10/10/2024 12:41

I'm just here for the comments 😂

RampantIvy · 10/10/2024 12:49

TeenToTwenties · 03/10/2024 21:25

In the old days when I got married the bridesmaids went out for the hen party and helped the bride on the day.

These days they seem to be expected to be permanently on call for 18-24 months.

Bring back the old days.

This ^^ in a nutshell.

If neither the wedding nor the hen do clash I don't see what the problem is. Your friend is going to be a bridesmaid not a wedding planner.