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Original poster

Baby keeps having accidents

28 replies

TidyPearlViewer · 02/10/2024 02:17

Hi all,

My beautiful baby is 7 months and gorgeous. I’ve recently been finding, over the past couple of weeks there have been a series of accidents. I feel awful and ashamed and guilt ridden.

she is fine and not hurt but it’s very silly stuff, due to carelessness such as rolling off the bed, bumping her head etc.

has anyone else had this experience? I know I just need to take better care but I honestly feel like I’m doing my best but it suddenly happens very quickly.

I know that I am tired and stressed. I had a traumatic childhood and had PTSD. When the baby was first born I felt much calmer and able to do more things but since she’s got older have been suffering from intrusive thoughts and panic attacks which I think are making me distracted.

The doctor said forgetfulness etc can be due to a hormone dip. Any tips? I feel that maybe alcohol, screens etc should be banned for a month to get me on track. Not that I’m drinking a lot or on the phone all the time btw but I just mean the odd glass of wine and so on…

thanks in advance and please don’t think I’m useless! I feel awful she’s had some scrapes recently and I swear it’s just when I turn around for 2 minutes to try and feed the dog or go to the bathroom.

OP posts:
PiggieWig · 02/10/2024 02:30

It’s good you’ve spoken to your doctor. A break from alcohol and screens certainly won’t hurt, and at least if you do that you know you have done something.
Seven months they are getting more mobile so you do need to have your wits about you. It sounds like you could do with some support with the PTSD too. Did you discuss that with the GP? If that is the main distraction it would benefit both you and your baby to try and tackle it a bit.
It’s hard parenting little ones. Once you start feeling like you know what you are doing at one stage, they are onto the next.
I don’t know if your LO is crawling yet, but now’s the time to start childproofing your home to prevent her pulling things on herself or falling etc.
Stair gates, securing big furniture, moving breakables higher up etc

DryBiscuit · 02/10/2024 02:33

If you have to do something then leave her in a EMPTY cot

Do not leave her on the bed or somewhere she can get hurt

She is 7 months old. You are her protector

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 02/10/2024 02:44

Either get sides to her/your bed so she can’t roll out of put the mattress on the floor. I’d say putting the phone down would be a good start they start to move much much faster as they get more mobile so you need to be watching constantly and/or have a safe set up

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autienotnaughty · 02/10/2024 03:36

It is hard when they start moving. Baby proof your house, make sure things are out of reach, stair gates, move sharp/hard furniture if possible and put edge protectors on corners of furniture..

Don't leave her on high surfaces. If you have to do something put her in a cot, high chair, play pen , push chair , car seat (not for long) or bouncy chair/rocker.
Try to plan your time so you do a few jobs together while she is entertained or asleep and then rest of time when she's mobile be with her.
Try to avoid looking at your phone when she's mobile as it's easy to get distracted. Have a tv or radio on in the background if you are bored.

Gunpowder · 02/10/2024 03:39

All my children rolled off the bed at that age. Don’t beat yourself up. If she isn’t hurt then no harm done and you know better for next time. It doesn’t make you a bad mother. A playpen or cot (I got an extra, cheap, IKEA cot to go downstairs) can be useful so you always have a safe place to put her, but of course you can’t watch them every single second, it’s ok to go to the loo! Do you have anyone IRL with a similar aged baby? It can feel a bit isolating when you are out of the newborn cocoon stage, and it’s good to have other mums to talk to and commiserate with when things go wrong or are tough. Doing things like rhyme time kept me sane with DD1.

Goldbar · 02/10/2024 06:04

If you have to leave them somewhere, I find it's best to leave them on the ground at that age. Make sure that the room is safe, there's nothing dangerous about and consider getting a playpen.

Tel12 · 02/10/2024 06:07

You need to avoid the wine at the moment as you are so tired and it can only make things worse. Only put her down where she's safe, strapped in if she's wriggling.

lololulu · 02/10/2024 06:14

It's strange how you use the word silly to describe your baby rolling off the bed and bumping her head.

I don't remember mine falling off the bed but I can see how it could happen.

Runskiyoga · 02/10/2024 06:24

Do you think you could be dissociating? If so, then less distractions might not help necessarily, because you might drift more. Instead things that help you upregulate might be good - have your phone play a little jolly tune or sound every 30 minutes during awake time, and notice how present or not you were. When it goes, splash cold water on your wrists or face, or do 5 star jumps, or put a loud song on and dance with baby, or drink fizzy or cold water. Lots of things that are alerting or sensory. And if you think it's this, update your GP and ask to see someone or get some support, it will help you keep baby safe.

Frazzledfraggle07 · 02/10/2024 06:30

Do you get distracted by racing thoughts and fans it hard to come back to reality? Might be worth looking into ADHD.

BreatheAndFocus · 02/10/2024 06:34

Don’t put her on the bed! She’s mobile now. You need to drop her on the floor (doors closed so she can’t get to any stairs or other dangers). Even if she can’t crawl yet, you need to assume she will move and have that at the front of your mind all the time.

If she’s very active or you struggle to concentrate on her, then get a playpen. You can then drop her in it while you do stuff. Put corner protectors on things like tables, protectors in power sockets, stair gate stop and bottom, etc.

Babies have no concept of danger so you need to be switched on 100% to be their guardian - to foresee danger, to anticipate possible accidents.

Meadowfinch · 02/10/2024 06:37

I had a play pen on the kitchen floor, his cot upstairs and a sling when DS was that age. He started walking at 7 months and from that moment, I daren't take my eye off him.

He was an determined escape artist by 10 months so he had reins too.

It's time to toddler-proof your house. Remove anything breakable, anything sharp. Make sure the cat flap and all windows are locked. Keep the door keys on a high hook.

Install stair gates, fire guards (if needed), keep loo doors & the washing machine closed and change his nappy on a towel on the floor.

Take him with you everywhere or put him in the playpen.

Even with all that, mine still managed to launch himself into a pond at 11 months. I caught him as he fell but it was a close thing. They will find mischief if your attention is elsewhere for even a moment.

You aren't a bad mum, it's just your DS has moved up a gear, and you need to move with him.

NicoleSkidman · 02/10/2024 06:46

I find the way you’ve worded your post very concerning. You seem to be taking no responsibility. In the title you say that your “baby keeps having accidents” which isn’t accurate at all. The baby has absolutely no hand in these “accidents” - you simply aren’t keeping her safe.

You also say “I’ve recently been finding, over the past couple of weeks there have been a series of accidents.” You seem to be dissociating.

You then try and blame alcohol and screens and suggest that these should be banned, as though they’re some sort out outside force that you can’t control.

In the kindest way possible OP, I think you need to go back to the GP and be really honest about what’s happening and how you’re feeling. You need to get some help before something terrible happens to your baby.

justanotherparrot · 02/10/2024 06:49

I never put my babies on the bed after the first month as they can move in the blink of an eye... always changed them on the floor. I had a travel cot downstairs to put them in if I had to do something else.
Accidents happen in a second so you need to calmly think about safety. Corner protectors/safety catches/stair gates etc for when they become mobile. There will be bumps and scrapes whatever but don't beat yourself up when you are trying your best. You're a good mum!

Autumn1990 · 02/10/2024 07:07

You have to take the baby with you to the bathroom or leave her somewhere safe such as a travel cot. There needs to be a safe place upstairs and downstairs to leave her. I had a cot upstairs and a travel cot downstairs.
Before you do any task that requires you to take your eyes/concentration from your baby, the baby must first be put somewhere safe.

Go round your house and baby proof. Get stair gates top and bottom of stairs. Move ornaments, cleaning products, guard fires, make sure radiators aren’t turned up full, ensure hair straighteners are not left where baby can reach them or the flex etc

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 02/10/2024 07:13

Who do you think is going to “ban” alcohol and screens? If they’re having a detrimental effect on your parenting it’s up to you to stop using them.

Stop being passive and start taking an active role in your baby’s care. These accidents aren’t just happening in a vacuum. Don’t put her on the bed if you know she can roll off for goodness sake.

Speak to your GP and your health visitor and be honest about how you’re feeling before something more serious happens.

BogRollBOGOF · 02/10/2024 07:15

DS2 was a creeper before he crawled. He was like a Weeping Angel; you didn't really see him move, but once you blinked or turned your back, he'd be in a different place.

Babyproof. Stair gates. Remove unnecessary loose, fragile objects. Make sure furniture is secure. Catches on kitchen units.

Do not put baby on any raised surfaces if they are not secured.

Alcohol affects sleep quality- even one glass, so you should feel more focused for stopping that.

pilates · 02/10/2024 07:16

Can you get a playpen for the times you need to do stuff? I found it really useful. And yes knock the wine on the head. Are you getting out for regular walks? Exercise can make you feel fresher.

Lemonadeand · 02/10/2024 07:16

Get a jumperoo. They’re great for putting kids in safely for a few minutes at that age.

bergamotorange · 02/10/2024 07:19

Baby proof. Prevent accidents.

Your reaction times are not enough, you have to prevent things happening. Slow down, prepare, check for risks.

You mention PTSD. Zoning out can be a trauma response.

I agree with others, see your GP, be more honest, get more help.

CoughedBulldozerNumber · 02/10/2024 07:19

Well done for seeking help.

Yes giving yoirself a break from alcohol and screens seems like a great first step - not that these are the causes but eliminating them will help identify other areas where there might be problems.

I don't mean this to be nasty to you becayse I am sure you are trying hard but please reframe what is happening here - a 7 month baby doesn't "have accidents" - to have an accident someone must be responsible for doing a thing, and then makes a mistake so that something unintended happens. A 7 month old has absolutely zero responsibilities and the mistakes are yours. Older children who can be starting to toddle around a playground with a parent always within arms reach may have tiny tiny accidents where they lose their balance and their parent says "oopsie" and catches them. A 7 month old is too little even for this and you probably need to ask for some support to understand better how to keep a baby safe. It's good you are already talking to your healthcare providers about this. Keep talking and being 100% honest - put your baby's wellbeing as a higher priority than anything else.

bergamotorange · 02/10/2024 07:21

since she’s got older have been suffering from intrusive thoughts and panic attacks which I think are making me distracted
Seek help with this Flowers

Do you have a partner? Tell them.

WillowTit · 02/10/2024 07:24

this is you
not her
please be more careful

BarbaraHoward · 02/10/2024 07:41

There's a bit of a leap in terms of what you need to do to keep them safe once they're no longer potatoes. As everyone has said, you need to keep them in safe places, especially if you're leaving the room.

There's another similar leap when they're toddlers and you suddenly realise you need to start working on behaviour.

The main thing to remember is that they can't keep themselves safe, so that's on you. These things don't "just happen", you need to get a bit sharper on the risk assessments. They can't roll off the floor, unlikely to bump their heads in a cot or playpen etc. Accidents will still happen, especially once walking because then they can fall over, but they're few and far between at this age.

Singleandproud · 02/10/2024 07:47

Seek help for your MH struggles. Stopping alcohol is worth while and stopping screens also if you find the distract you or limit them to when there is another adult knowing the house or when she's sleeping.

The baby isn't having accidents though. She is not being supervised adequately. You need to take responsibility for that. Soon she'll be tottering about and it'll be "oh she pulled the hot pan on to her self / she knocked the boiling tea on herself" when the truth is she never should have been in a position to do that in the first place.

When you go to the loo you need to take her with you. Or put her in a cot or play pen. If she's sitting up unaided then a jumperoo is an option but I think they are meant to be supervised. I used to close all the doors, double check the stairs gate and let her play in the hallway.