Tracker for child - School trip

[StarStripeMama]

Hello my 4 year old is going on their first school trip next week and it’s giving me major anxiety. I know they will be totally fine but it’s an hour away and an all day trip. Can anyone recommend a gps tracker that I can see on my phone, a watch or something for her shoe? I don’t want to sound crazy but it would make me feel better. It won’t be for school but just any school trips? Thanks :-)

I was really worried when my eldest went on the first school trip in reception so I understand how you feel.

I made them wear an ID bracelet and put contact details (mine and the school’s) in their rucksack so they could tell a grown up who to contact if they got lost. Of course I was super casual about showing them these things so they wouldn’t worry too!

I’ve been as a volunteer on many school trips since and now I know how they work (relentless counting, usually a ‘fixed’ location eg farm that they can’t get out of) I’ve never done it again, it was just that first trip that panicked me a bit and made me feel better that they had a solution if they were to get lost.

How does an air tag stop your child from going missing?

Please don't do this- how would you even know if it is accurate? Talk to the class teacher. A reception class trip will have loads of adults on. If you want to come they might have space for you.

School trips are very closely supervised (I've been on dozens including loads on the tube and lots with KS1 even KS1 on the tube 😱) and have lots and lots of headcounts. Unless you know your child is a runner/ always wanders off in which case definitely talk to the teacher.

Have you spoken to your DDs class teacher and told them you don’t trust their ability to look after your child?

A lot of these replies are unnecessarily harsh. You can express the exact same sentiment in a kind way folks! OP for what it’s worth, my kids aren’t at school yet but I get where you’re coming from and I’m not a remotely anxious parent and am very logical. My husband and I can always see where the other is (I can’t remember the last time I checked but I know I can if needed) because it makes me feel safer knowing he COULD find me if needed. If we do it as adults or with older kids through apps, why not little kids? The grey area here is whether or not it’s appropriate for teachers to feel ‘tracked’ however 2 points there - firstly, if you find a discreet tracker they will never know and secondly, if they are doing their jobs properly there is nothing really to be concerned about if the kids are tracked. I’m quite surprised by how many posters seem to feel very strongly the other way about this

Unless you track them at school too, then I would avoid this. All you are doing is showing you don't trust them. Millions of school trips take place annually without losing the children.

But what if the tracker malfunctions, which it could easily do from miles away and the teacher gets rung up by a very worried parent?

Or if OP's child does get separated from the group then its 99.9% likely to be within the enclosed venue they are in (I'm guessing farm park etc.) So a tracker won't tell you anything.

I can't think of any school that would consent to this. Schools have lots of procedures in place on school trips to prevent children from getting lost. Also staff are on high alert and constantly counting and monitoring. If you don't trust the school than you should either accompany your child or pull them out that day.

On a side note I can't think of anything worse than my husband always knowing where I am and I'm sure he'd feel the same!

There's no harm in it and lots of parents do it. There tracking parents usually update on the WhatsApp for when it looks like the coach will arrive at school if it's a late pick-up. An air tag is easiest. You can get in soles for shoes with a hole in them that an air tag fits in or just sew it inside the hem of a jacket/trousers. You can get a watch too if you think she wouldn't take it off.

The worst thing you can do for anxiety IMO is to pander to it.

Trackers/tracking apps whilst brilliant and reassuring at times, could potentially increase your anxiety. They aren’t always absolutely accurate regarding location and if your dc is in an area with no signal, you will panic wondering why their location isn't updating or why they appear not to be moving.

I have always suffered with a lot of anxiety around my dc (I suspect due to both my parents dying when my dc were very young). My dc did beavers/cubs and scouts and I became a full time leader to help out and have fun but also so that I could sometimes attend camps etc.. I sometimes volunteered to help out for school trips. Maybe consider this option.

I’m sorry that you've had such a hard time from a lot of people on here, I have noticed in other threads that many Mumsnetters are very anti-tracking but I know a loads of people who use Find My Friends etc. in agreement with their family members, it’s actually very normal in real life. And really it’s no-one else’s business what you so long as you have the other persons consent.

If you haven't done so already, teach your dc the golden rules about what to do if they're ever lost and write your phone number down for them and put it in their bag. Teach her ‘safety in numbers’, always. My teens were always really good with this and excellent at looking out for their mates on nights out, making sure people got home safely etc..

I feel for you, the anxiety is hard! 💐

all fair points - I don’t think I would ever specifically just use a tracker for a school trip, I would be more likely to use it how I do with the app eg it’s always there and I barely ever look at it but know it’s there in an emergency.

I get your point with your husband knowing where you are but I think it really depends on the relationship and the person. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I used it BUT I know it’s there as an emergency. I suspect my husband has probably forgotten it exists but would like to think he would remember it in an emergency too!

I really think we need to be careful about normalising tracking children. I work with women who are stalked. Many of them who are stalked by a partner or ex partner take a long time to realise what is happening because they have become used to the idea that it is normal for them to be tracked. I deliberately don't track my (teenage) kids because I don't want them to grow up thinking it's a healthy thing to do.

I know lots of people on MN say that they have tracking aps with family members and use it in useful ways but for me I can't think of anything worse. It doesn't make you safer, it feeds into anxiety and personality I would hate for anyone to know where I am all the time

I was a parent governor and went on lots of school trips. You would be surprised how many "runners" there are in Reception.

I sent dd2 on a residential trip with no coat (parent of the year award for me)

Her friend loaned her coat which had a tracker in. Imagine her parents panic when the tracker trundled miles down the M3 unexpectedly 😁

Teacher here - Using trackers on pupils is not allowed at my school and is written into our safeguarding policy.

OP, I understand that you're anxious. It's natural to be anxious about our precious children. But you definitely don't need a tracker for your child.

The trip will have been risk assessed very carefully and there will be plenty of safeguarding measures in place to keep everyone safe. You trust the school to keep your dc safe every day. You need to trust them with this trip as well.

In many ways, parenting is all about a gradual process of letting go. It's difficult and we worry at every stage. When they're tiny, we have control of every small detail of their lives, and we accept this huge sense of responsibility for keeping them safe. It can then be incredibly difficult when we realise have to slowly start relinquishing that controI and yet we still feel responsible for their safety. That can feel really scary but it's also a perfectly normal and natural part of letting our kids grow up, and it is our duty as parents to let them do just that.

Sometimes, we just have to accept our own feelings of anxiety and live with them, knowing that we're doing the right thing for our children in fostering their growing independence. Your lovely dd will be fine. And you will be fine too. I promise.

@Zebrashavestripes so I know he's not stuck somewhere, not getting too close to major roads (my tracker has a boundary that will alert my phone if he does and can ping his tracker to hopefully deter him away) so of course it keeps him safer than he would be without it.

Honestly. People will argue black is white with these things but at the end of the day a tracker helps track people, animals, things and by doing so can help keep them safe as they can be found or assisted if needed.

And FYI posters. My, at the time, 5 year old was lost on a school trip...shed taken herself to the toliet as they walked past it and all the attending teachers hadn't noticed. The tracker wouldn't have helped in this situation but it sure would have if, when realising the group had moved on, she walked off elsewhere or worse someone took her.

@Allswellthatendswelll
But what if the tracker malfunctions, which it could easily do from miles away and the teacher gets rung up by a very worried parent?

Surely that's not a major issue. The teacher can say where the child is. I'd rather this than the teacher not being made aware of a possible situation quick enough to do something about it.

That. We are now in a world where privacy is almost non-existant. And the downside is that people don't question it. So when their partner insists on tracking them, or having cameras on in the home while he's at work, they just accept it, instead of running a mile.

Honestly, tracking a 4 year old on a school trip is batshit and entirely pointless, because it doesn't tell the parent anything at all about the child's circumstances and who they're with. It's madness. No wonder children and young people are so anxious these days, when their parents are showing by their actions, that they don't consider them to be safe away from them.

What could a tracker alert a teacher to? It gives virtually no information to the parent, and what it does send isn't accurate.

@saraclara it wouldn't alert the TEACHER to anything but a concerned parent could. The original question was along the lines of what good would it do for a parent to call up a teacher if they were worried about something a tracker showed... And I stated that phone call could alert a teacher to a situation that they were not yet aware of, and if the tracker was wrong and the childs location was safe where they should be what's the harm? All the teacher needs to do is say child is OK and with them. Better to check and ask than just blindly assume child is OK.

But my point is that the parent can't alert the teacher to anything! The tracker is such a blunt instrument.

And of course if all the parents start doing this, then it's not just one phone call distracting the teacher from her job (and from keeping the children safe) it's 20!

Seriously, it's pointless and ultimately makes the anxiety worse.

Omg this!

I don't want DH tracking me. We have a happy marriage. I still have a right to privacy. It just seems so unnecessary in a trusting relationship.

If a child in my class did this I'd feel really uncomfortable taking them on a trip as it shows the parents don't trust us. I'd much rather the parent just came on the trip..l

"hi Mrs Jones, it's Danny's mummy here. I just thought I should tell you that you're on the M25 and not at Windsor"

I think Mrs Jones might already know.

Also parents don't get teachers personal numbers on trips so it would be a phone call from the school office. Adding another layer of faff and confusion.

Also if one parents wants to do this why wouldn't all the others?