Presents for unappreciative children

[simonsayss]

Im a nanny and I love the kids I look after, I really do. I buy them a gift on their birthday and at Christmas. Their parents are work long hours so they overcompensate for lost time by buying them whatever they want. If they go to M&S they’ll get a toy even if it’s to nip in for milk after tennis.

The problem is that because of this, they don’t appreciate anything. They are always wanting something new for their attention, they’re so used to it and even the thought out gifts I get them specific to their interests get disregarded a day later for the new toy.

So what do I buy for them? I’m not well off at all and I’m sick of seeing how their toys are treated and I begrudge buying them decent gifts. What would be something that is inexpensive but seems relatively substantial ? Both birthdays and Christmas coming up. Children 4 & 8 now

The only appropriate gift for an unappreciative child is nothing.

If you don’t have to clean up after them, I’d buy them glitter bomb making kits. Then the parents might ask you to stop with presents.

The whole family sound absolutely awful.

I think they just feel guilty that they work so much and always seem to be on work trips every other week and massively overcompensate. It’s just unfortunate as it isn’t the children’s fault but the parents guilt means they often avoid actual parenting as they don’t want the little time they spend with children to be tarred with correcting behaviour and in turn, upset children.

Something for their bedroom? A nice novelty lamp, blanket or cushion maybe. Or a money box and put a few pound coins in.

Warmies are nice. They're plush toys that you put in the microwave so they're warm to sleep with. I've just bought my friends son a sloth one and he loves it.

Could you take them out for ice cream or something? Or Christmas fair and they have £5 each?

Or baking kit and bake with them?

Failing that I'd just get one of those Oxfam goats. Someone will benefit from the money at least then!

I would go with an experience they don't have to be expensive. Could you make a treasure hunt for them that ends at a cafe with hot chocolate? What are they not allowed to do all the time, is there a treat in that at all. My children for example have never been allowed to go on rides, the small horses on a roundabout thing, so as a treat at Christmas we've previously let them go on one...for them it was the best present ever.

Or is there a paint a piece of pottery type place or pay per lesson art class anything like that?

It sounds like those kids want quality time. Could you make one of those 'voucher' books that they can cash in? A cuddle and a story with x, lunch in the garden just me and x, an afternoon baking something of your choice, movie and popcorn in bed etc. Possibly a bit lame if they're ungrateful but in my experience young kids do find that fun and exciting. Even better if you can get the parents to donate a voucher each so it says cuddle and a story with mummy etc.

Otherwise, just get them anything. Stuff is meaningless to them.

A craft jar each - jar filled with buttons, beads, fabric scraps, card scraps, ribbon and some fabric glue. Source the bits and pieces from a charity shop.
Or a 'back in time, stocking - orange, shiny coin, soap and wash cloth, little rag doll or wooden vehicle, a simple craft project - again the charity shop is your friend.

RSPB membership, you can get up to 5 kids memberships for £39/year (total not each). They get a magazine each every couple of months, with stories and craft activities(different ones depending on age) and entrance into a nature reserve, if you have any close by.

If they have so much discarded stuff I would be tempted to wrap up one of their old, unused toys and re-gift it: sounds like they wouldn't notice!

Walkie talkies?
Or a craft kit.
Or nothing and takes to the park

You could get or maybe make them each a decoration for the Christmas tree.
Funny tshirts or knitted hat with a character on it.

My DD is quite spoiled by her other parent (divorce) and I struggle with this too. Last Christmas obviously I did get her a "big present" but tbh her most played-with present was a £5 "executive toy" from Flying Tiger - one of those things you can press your hand into and it makes a pattern. She still plays with it now. She's also loved £5 light/up finger pointers from Smiggle.

Quite frankly I'd be having a kindly word with their parents. My children's father is extremely wealthy and after we divorced over compensated for his guilt by doing this. It's still going on years later even now they're adults-but because I'm almost the other way, ie anti materialistic, I've brought them up to appreciate everything they get, Sat please and thank you and that what they receive is not usual for other kids their age. (We don't live in an exclusively rich neighbourhood but it's a decent one where they have gone to sought after local schools). They also understand that money does not buy you friends, or happiness, but it gives you choices and sometimes a bales you to miserable in comfort.
Their father has not made wise emotional decisions and hopefully I've brought them up to understand this.
Appreciate its probably harder to deal worth as they are not your own children but you sound like you have an excellent relationship with them.

If chldren aren't appreciative then don't waste your money on them in future. The 8 yr old is old enough to be able to write a simple 'thankyou' letter to the donor of a gift and the younger child should be able to say 'thank you' in person.