Presents for unappreciative children

[simonsayss]

Im a nanny and I love the kids I look after, I really do. I buy them a gift on their birthday and at Christmas. Their parents are work long hours so they overcompensate for lost time by buying them whatever they want. If they go to M&S they’ll get a toy even if it’s to nip in for milk after tennis.

The problem is that because of this, they don’t appreciate anything. They are always wanting something new for their attention, they’re so used to it and even the thought out gifts I get them specific to their interests get disregarded a day later for the new toy.

So what do I buy for them? I’m not well off at all and I’m sick of seeing how their toys are treated and I begrudge buying them decent gifts. What would be something that is inexpensive but seems relatively substantial ? Both birthdays and Christmas coming up. Children 4 & 8 now

It is wearing isn’t it? I feel bad but I’m just fed up and it’s not even the Childrens fault because the lesson of appreciating has to come from their parents for them to understand as even though I try to explain it to them, the parents just buy them something and the thought goes out of their head.

I’ve been with them for several years and they still ask me for things regularly. I have explained a million times that I look after them to earn money and the money I earn has to be spent on my OWN family and I’m not responsible for buying them thjngs. But they’re so used to it they’re just not grasping the concept

Pot plants to look after - Montessori style.

How about something like a cake mix that you can all bake together and eat after

Hahaha. I bought my children back a cactus each from a recent ikea trip. They absolutely LOVE them and treat them like pets. Overwatering them and decorating them. I think a plat each is a great idea 😂

What about 'adopt a tiger' or 'sponsor a guide dog puppy' style gift. They'll get a small moments such as a certificate/small toy bit at last the money has gone somewhere meaningful

Cinema with a big bag or pick your own sweets?? Or a cake kit? I bought y daughter a fabulous unicorn one.

8 and 4 is at the height of volume of toys they will have. I like the Catus idea, what about seeds, grow your own tomatoes/plants.

What about a picture book with some of your favourite photos of the time you spend together? Plenty of online service will print and bind them fir you. Not too expensive either.

Library card. Then take them to the library and read to them there. At least it will do them some good.

I like the plant idea.
Bath crayons
Bath/swim toys
Christmas socks
Novelty Christmas hats
Sticker tattoos

Mm no, definitely don’t spend money on material things.

you know them really well as you’ve cared for them for years.

what really makes them happy? What makes their hearts sing? Cos it sounds like they don’t get enough of that and get too much of the compensatory material stuff.

I would just get a beanie baby type thing. You can never have too many cuddly toys.

They clearly have too much “stuff” and toys so I wouldn’t be adding to that.

The one thing I never feel bad about buying is books. Do they not have a bookshelf in their rooms?

If there are no bookshelves in the house then I would get them books and a “book basket” - tell them you will bring the books back and forth with you to read with them rather than leaving them at the house, if they disappear.

Reading is so so important, so you will be doing these kids a huge favour if no one else is reading with them. Try graphic novels and wordless picture books perhaps.

Cinema vouchers is a good idea! Plus you could do it on a day when you are looking after them and then you don’t have to entertain them. It’s not wildly expensive either, Win-win all round?

Make a little baking hamper, (ingredients, cookie cutters, or some cupcake cases) to bake together. Tell them they’re not allowed to open it without you and then make cookies with them another time you’re there. Or only give it to them when you’re there. As in your last shift before Christmas, arrive with their gift, they open it and then you spend the afternoon baking.

or consumables like bath bombs

Something you want to do with them e.g. something arty or a baking kit or a board or card game. Give it to them when you are looking after them and when you want to do the activity. Let them open it and then immediately do the activity before the gift gets lost!

Fiver each. Let them spend it!

or a box of maltesers each

Can you let each child be 'in charge' on their birthday. So they get to choose breakfast - something unusual like croissants or pancakes - or lunch or tea - maybe make your own pizzas. Make up a scavenger hunt in the garden or park. Make a big deal of them choosing what to watch on TV. Stuff they don't usually do but won't cost you a lot. As they're not appreciative they're really not going to miss you giving something they instantly forget.

Seriously, if they're never read to, and have no books, or none they appreciate, you need to try and change that. Plenty of time, particularly with the 4 year old, to turn it round and help them love stories. It will help them build empathy too. Never mind presents, get them to the library!

an apple and orange ?

Nanny used to get my DC personalised PJs with their names on for Xmas.
And once personalised socks with their face on!

I don't think it was too expensive, the quality wasn't amazing but DC absolutely loved and it was treasured for the year. They wore the PJs a lot, where a book / toy might have been quickly forgotten. I thought it was brill she'd gone out of her way to do this, so thoughtful.

Poor kids. Ime what kids want is not so much just toys but also adults to play with them and appreciate them with them.

Do their parents ever take an interest in why they want the toys that they do or what they want to do with them? I'm probably too generous when it comes to buying my DC toys, but I know why they want the things that they ask for (extra characters/figurines to play with, to complete a collection, build the world's biggest marble run) and so I can work out what things will be appreciated and used and which things will be shoved in a corner and discarded. I refuse to buy the second category for them, but DC can use their own pocket money for these sorts of things. Kids learn to treat and appreciate things from observing those round about them, and if no one is showing them that their toys are important by taking an interest in them, then it's not really surprising that the kids lose interest quickly.

This!!

Have you tried a Treasure Trail? Great fun!
www.treasuretrails.co.uk

I try but the parents overrule me once kids start complaining they don’t want to and say they can do it another day and then the cycle repeats. I’ve sort of given up on anything academic because the parents don’t back me up on it and if I try it only opens up an opportunity for them to undermine me which I refuse to have happen infront of children.
We go to the library if I have them on half term but it’s difficult to get them anywhere. Their parents will say ‘oh I don’t think they really want to go out today as they got a new toy they want to play with’. Like yes stop buying them fucking toys then ARGH