What to do with DM's jewellery?

[CoodleMoodle]

DM passed away suddenly last month and we've just finished clearing out her house. She was, bluntly, a hoarder. Not in the sense of old newspapers and bottles, but of sentimental things. Nothing of huge value to anybody else, and anything that was worth anything at all has been sold (under her instructions!).

After that we took so much to charity, so much ended up at the dump, and now so much is in my bloody house. She made me promise her that I wouldn't just chuck everything and I didn't, but I can't keep it all. We've got enough stuff of our own! I sound heartless but unless you've cleared a house like this it's really hard to understand.

The main problem I have is the jewellery. She had so so so much of it. She also kept all of her DM's and all of her MIL's (both of my DGMs). We're talking two massive jewellery boxes bursting at the seams, and a huge plastic storage box filled with things still in their original boxes. I don't wear jewellery at all. I have no desire for any of it really, but was planning on keeping one thing from each of them, something to remind me of them.

But what do I do with the rest? My maternal DGM was German and so a lot of hers came from there. My paternal DGM was addicted to QVC etc and so a lot of hers is just costume, but some of it isn't! It's not always obvious, either.

Full disclosure: DM knew I don't like jewellery and told me to sell it all and buy something with it. I lost my wedding ring last year and was thinking I could sell the stuff she had and use it to buy an eternity ring or similar, to remind me not only of my DH (who is being a saint putting up with all of the shit in our house!) but also my DM and DGMs.

Do I just take it to a jeweller and ask them to sort it out? My MIL did that with her old jewellery a few years ago but that was one bag! There's seriously so much, it's actually ridiculous. I'm drowning in all the stuff I kept (probably about 10% of it!) and the jewellery alone is taking up so much space.

I’d take one piece to two jewellers and see what price they offer, then take the lot to the highest offer.

Why not have a ring made with stones from DGM and DM jewellery? There are pots of places that will work with you and design something to your tastes

Get it all valued at a local jewellers, decide what you're keeping & flog the rest. With the proceeds, but yourself the eternity ring you mentioned (lovely idea ♥️).

Find a local independent jeweller who can separate costume jewellery from the more precious metals and stones, then perhaps sell the better stuff or see if they can take elements from each of the three's collection to make a custom ring for you. We have a great jewellery designer in our town who even recycles gold

For any of the silver or gold jewellery you could find a company who melts it down and design a new ring. I did this with my DG Jewellery as it wasn't my taste but made a new ring a jeweller designed.

Costume jewelry, could a local drama group benefit maybe?

Sorry to hear about your mum, it's a difficult process on top of the grief

My local charity, Hospiscare, will take costume jewellery and sells it in stalls at local fetes, etc. to raise funds. They will return anything to you that they think is valuable. I also have a feeling that Brooke Hospital accepts jewellery donations. So that's the way I'd go - ask a charity.
I'm sorry to hear about your mum. It's fine to just keep one or two pieces and find good homes for the rest. She enjoyed them in her lifetime and that's what matters.

I agree with prev poster about having it remodelled. I’m taking some of my late mums less desirable rings that don’t fit me to a jewellers tomorrow to weigh in and use some of the gold to enlarge a ring of mums that I do like and also my engagement ring that no longer fits. You could sell a lot of it and buy yourself something special and remember it as a gift from your mum

Realistically, there is next to no market for second hand jewellery in its original form. Sort out anything you do want to keep, then would separate out what you know is costume jewellery and pass any in good condition on to charity.

The rest I would send to the likes of Hatton Garden Metals, and buy something I did want with the proceeds. (They will give a statement that tells you if they are rejecting bits as they are not precious metals, but don’t return it I don’t think.)

You are giving me chills! I have a ton of jewelry at 64 and my dd’s will probably never be interested! I should find a way to sell it and give them the money—maybe I will set myself a goal of divesting at 70.

Costume jewellery can be donated somewhere. If there is nice jewellery could you get a jeweller to make you a new wedding ring from the stones?

I wouldn't bother with a jeweller as they won't be the slightest bit interested in all the costume stuff.

If I were you and since you want to sell all of it, take the whole lot to your local auction house (many run valuation days so you can take it along and they will assess the better items for you and value them) and then leave it with them to sell the good pieces individually and the rest as grouped job lots. We got well over £130 for one very uninspiring necklace that had belonged to late MIL.

Some of the older costume jewelry from QVC is very collectible - check on eBay for butler and Wilson

Send off a load of the costume jewellery to somewhere like 'Was Gathering Dust' and see if you're happy with what they offer you.

check for hallmarks! look for the number 375 on clasps, inside of rings !

I was in the same position as you OP, I sold everything and split the money in two and put it in my 2 children's savings accounts. I took my time (but it was all put away in boxes and a cupboard) and I just worked through it selling it piece by piece (about 3-4 at time so I could cope with doing it and work at the same time). Like you I wasn't going to wear it.

Is there a local auction near you? Look for one that will do a free valuation and help you divide the items into suitable lots.

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate it. I'll have a proper look through all of the suggestions and try to do the right thing. There's a lot of guilt with all of this as I'm sure you can imagine!

I adored DM (and DGMs) but have been feeling a bit resentful with all the stuff I had to sort through, and when I saw the culmination of all the jewellery I could've cried. Even if I took a picture people probably wouldn't believe me! It's all mixed up too, so apart from a couple of bits I've got no idea what belonged to who. And it was all probably very special to the three of them at the time but, realistically, it means nothing to me.

Even the thought of sorting through it all is giving me anxiety, but at least I can do it at my own pace. And DM would definitely not understand! She'd be heartbroken at how much we threw away, and how little I clearly value(d) some of her things. Including all of this jewellery. Even though she told me to sell it, I could tell she didn't really mean it!

Next I've got to sort out the millions (no exaggeration) of photos from, again, DM and both DGMs. I know the solution there at least (scan and keep digitally!) but it's a heck of a job...

You’re not alone OP. My Mum died in 2006 and Dad died in 2010. I brought a lot of stuff home with me as you can’t decide straightaway what you need to keep. I solved part of it by renting a unit with a friend in an antiques and vintage centre and selling a lot of it after time made me realise I didn’t need/want most of it. I still have the jewellery and only just got around to letting go of it. I have hundreds of photos too. I’ve thrown out the ones of people or landscapes I don’t know, sorted the rest into before me arriving and after and then one rainy day I will have another cull. It takes time and it gets easier to let things go

Buy yourself a cheap loupe and you will just need to go through it. Get a couple of bowls and put gold and silver in one and costume jewellery in the other.
hallmarks can vary but you’d be looking for 375 (9k gold) 5
750 (18k gold) 925 (silver). Gold used to cost a lot less so some of the stuff you assume is costume jewellery may very well not be. https://www.assayofficelondon.co.uk/hallmarking/what-is-a-hallmark is a good website to look at for brief descriptions. Tbh that would be my perfect evening!

Sorry for the random ‘5’ in the post above!

@CoodleMoodle

If you have Butler & Wilson costume jewellery that usually has a good resale value, it seems to hold it's price as there are collectors, and it is quite expensive to buy in the first place.

I would take it an auction house. They will look for gold and diamonds first. Costume jewellery can be valuable. Tiffari is a 50/60s brand that makes big money.

Thanks all!

I don't suppose anyone has any specific suggestions for places to take it all? I've had a little search but all the options are a bit overwhelming!

I'm in West Sussex and can easily get to anywhere in Crawley, Horsham, Reigate, Redhill, Horley. I can also do the Croydon/Bromley areas as I grew up there and know it well!

Don't throw any photos away, there's a second hand market for those as well. Even if they are damaged, they can be recycled to reclaim the silver if they are old enough.

There is a good auction house in Lewes, East Sussex called GORRINGE’S. They are a very reputable company where you can confidently sell your jewellery. Good luck.