What to do with DM's jewellery?

[CoodleMoodle]

DM passed away suddenly last month and we've just finished clearing out her house. She was, bluntly, a hoarder. Not in the sense of old newspapers and bottles, but of sentimental things. Nothing of huge value to anybody else, and anything that was worth anything at all has been sold (under her instructions!).

After that we took so much to charity, so much ended up at the dump, and now so much is in my bloody house. She made me promise her that I wouldn't just chuck everything and I didn't, but I can't keep it all. We've got enough stuff of our own! I sound heartless but unless you've cleared a house like this it's really hard to understand.

The main problem I have is the jewellery. She had so so so much of it. She also kept all of her DM's and all of her MIL's (both of my DGMs). We're talking two massive jewellery boxes bursting at the seams, and a huge plastic storage box filled with things still in their original boxes. I don't wear jewellery at all. I have no desire for any of it really, but was planning on keeping one thing from each of them, something to remind me of them.

But what do I do with the rest? My maternal DGM was German and so a lot of hers came from there. My paternal DGM was addicted to QVC etc and so a lot of hers is just costume, but some of it isn't! It's not always obvious, either.

Full disclosure: DM knew I don't like jewellery and told me to sell it all and buy something with it. I lost my wedding ring last year and was thinking I could sell the stuff she had and use it to buy an eternity ring or similar, to remind me not only of my DH (who is being a saint putting up with all of the shit in our house!) but also my DM and DGMs.

Do I just take it to a jeweller and ask them to sort it out? My MIL did that with her old jewellery a few years ago but that was one bag! There's seriously so much, it's actually ridiculous. I'm drowning in all the stuff I kept (probably about 10% of it!) and the jewellery alone is taking up so much space.

Have it remodelled. My mum passed away suddenly and her wedding and engagement ring got damaged in the process. I wouldn’t have worn then as not my style so wood of sat in a box. I got then melted and redesigned to compliment the original but in a style I would wear. I wear that ring daily.

resting her jewellery is in a box as I can’t sell it. I filtered out the costume style my nieces use. I did get the jewellery designer to frame the 3 things I knew were important to her so I have them on display. I wear one chain, but rest are kept safe.

I second Gorrianges.

My mum died recently - all her jewellery was for me, according to her will "to dispose of as I see fit".

Much of it was quite nice costume jewellery but colours I don't wear. There were a few "proper" pieces and some antique items, but not styles I like.

I do wear jewellery so I've kept the bits I like and would wear, given some to my SIL (DB's wife) & my teenage niece - neither of them wear much jewellery but I thought it was fairer to share it.

The fancy bits will be going to a jeweller - I'm going to have a ring made in a style I'd wear often, and the rest will be sold, with the proceeds split between myself & my DB.

I used to sell vintage costume jewellery on eBay. Some of it is worth quite a bit of money. Any bakelite pieces are highly sought after.

My problem is that I've got no idea what's costume and what isn't! Some of it is sort of obvious but most of the pieces have been taken out of the boxes and don't have anything written on them that might give me a clue.

My paternal DGM was the type to buy something in the green, then get it in the purple, red and blue as well, so there's a LOT of it. Most her things were little sets of necklace, braclet and watch or similar, but she also had a lot of gold/silver stuff too.

My maternal DGM's is mostly real I'd imagine, and a lot of it from Germany. She would've had a few costumer bits as well though, later in life.

And then my DM... Hers is a real mix! It's very difficult to know where to start with it all. The thought of listing it on eBay or whatever doesn't appeal at all! I just don't know enough about it all, that's the issue.

Find an independent jewellers, I used an old shop in town nearest to me to discover if a ring was real gemstones (it was). Take in photos to start with to show how much there is. Get the real sorted from the old them ask for a valuation based on the real stones/gold/silver. You have to start somewhere! See if you can negotiate a price to get the lot sorted so at least you know what's what.

Why don't you do a quick sort into manageable lots. First off anything with a hallmark; second lot anything that looks like it's had a more professional type of gem setting, more work on it type of thing; third lot anything obviously costume jewellery but that you could imagine being saleable and then the obvious low appeal and low value stuff. Then you're left with the don't know pile that you could tackle later.

If you want to keep a memento from the box, there are people who make pictures from old jewellery. Some are lovely.

Hatton Garden Metals is a good call from a PP for anything with a hallmark but it would take you to sift through the lot. We cleared a horder type house not so long ago so I know the feeling is so overwhelming.

Find a local independent jeweller, take them some photos of what you have, and go from there
I've inherited 8 or 9 rings from various relatives over the years but they're in styles or have stones I would never wear. I found a designer and traded some of the rings in with her and she reused the gold and some of the stones and reset them in a more modern design. I kept back a couple of DMs rings so that DD can do the same, or sell them and get something she'd like to wear.

I’ve just been with a friend to a jewellers who buys gold. Friend had a gold gate bracelet, a thin gold chain, two pair of small studs like earrings and a signet ring and got £750! The jeweller will tell you what’s costume jewellery, don’t be afraid to take it in.

Are you handy with a glue gun op? I made something similar for me and my mum out of my grandmas brooches. Comes out every Christmas

I was in same situation some years ago, if there is no stamp or hallmark then assume its base metal with fake stones. german can have different stamps to uk, often 10 carat gold. i sorted out the real stuff and sold it on ebay, the costume items went to covent garden as a bulk job lot and sold to a few dealers there.

I finally sold my DMs engagement ring and I was surprised because of the wear and age how much gold goes for!

I'd take all of it to a respectable jeweller and ask them to wade through it. Then yes definitely but yourself something to remind you of them. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to feel like this.

I know how overwhelming it is.

Bellman's auction house is Wisborough Green deals with a lot of jewellery.

German costume jewellery fro the 30s through to the 50s is some of the most sought after. Don't be in a rush to sell it at cheap prices. It still sells quite well on eBay especially to the American market, and isn't too much of a pain to post either. Good photography of it is key. It can be quite good fun to research it too.