What do you do for your birthday if you don't want to get drunk?

[SarahReeves]

My 39th birthday is coming up next month and I don't have anything planned. Every year for my birthday I play some sort of party or activity that includes getting drunk and I don't want to do that anymore. But I'm not sure what eles to do?

This strikes me as an odd question as surely you do exactly what you've done before but don't drink as much.
Do you live somewhere with poor public transport and friends who drive? If so, that would be the easiest limiter to put in place. Choose somewhere which everyone has to drive too.
Otherwise, perhaps something sporty so people have to be sober before they start and can't drink whilst doing it? Then you can just limit how much you drink or how long you are available for afterwards

I don't drink. There are millions of things you can do that don't involve alcohol. Go out somewhere nice for the day, go out for lunch/dinner, afternoon tea, see a show, invite friends over and do whatever you usually do minus the booze?

A show perhaps?

A meal out was always what I used to do. Now a takeaway in and I aim for a day trip somewhere as well

Eat, drink (non alcoholic drinks or reduced alcohol intake), play card/board/other types of games, dance and be merry. None of these involves getting drunk.

I get a deluxe massage and facial, go to the cinema and a takeaway for dinner. That's been my ritual for the last few years!

I don’t drink, but even when I did, I’ve never been drunk. Just do whatever you want to do but without the alcohol.

Are your friends very boozy? Fun with little or no alcohol is easy unless you have friends who pressure you.

Board games night
Theatre show
Taster session at climbing wall
Horse trekking
Ghyll scrambling
Comedy night
Pamper night
Walk somewhere pretty
Visit a zoo
Pottery class
Etc etc

Dinner without drinking
games without drinking
chatting to friends without drinking
not sure what’s hard to imagine

Dinner in a nice restaurant or a weekend away. Both involve wine, neither involve getting drunk.

I would shift it to a daytime activity like an afternoon tea in a stately home or something. Lots of people expect a drink in the evening if you have boozy friends.

Getting drunk has always been a super enjoyable experience for me, but this year I want to dial it back. I'm getting older, and my body can't handle it like it used to.

So, I'm wondering what other non-drinkers do on their birthday that's just as fun and enjoyable. I've spent so many years drinking that I've kind of lost interest in other things, and I'm having a hard time coming up with good ideas,hhh.

What you mentioned about driving, exercising, and stuff like that sounds motivating. I should definitely make some changes, even if it means using a little outside push. Thanks a lot!

surely you do exactly what you've done before but don't drink as much

It doesn't work that way because without alcohol you often discover those places are actually really dull sometimes you discover that about your drinking companions too!!
Alternative birthday treats OP:
Theatre
Cinema
Meal out
Activity day eg horse riding, climbing, canoeing.
Spa day
Escape room
Private dance lesson for a group of you.
Invite a few friends round for a meal.
One of those painting parties.
Casino
Karaoke bar
Cooking workshop
Day at a local tourist attraction depending on area.

Theatre or concert, or day out to nice city, beach etc usually with nice meal.

I never get drunk, and am currently pregnant so birthday will be extremely sober!
In the past I've gone for a meal with partner/friends/family, or partner and I have got a takeaway or one of those M&S fakeaway boxes. We've done a hike with a pub lunch at the end. I've had a friend round for lunch sometimes and had a nice catch-up with them. I've spent at least one birthday having a trip to IKEA (I love IKEA, I find it calming midweek when there's hardly anyone there!!). One year I ran a marathon, but that's probably not the type of suggestion one does on a whim! 😂

This year we're driving to a basic but delicious restaurant about 25 mins away that we used to go to when we lived at previous address and we miss and haven't been to for > 3 years since we moved.

I’m sober and I don’t do the ‘just do what you always did but don’t get drunk’ stuff. Being in a loud pub while everyone gets wasted and starts shrieking and ordering shots is boring as hell. Went to a friend’s big birthday party recently and I realised how over it I was. Can’t listen to Sarah’s husband Bob tell that same drunken story again or deal with Gemma ordering rounds of shots and nothing for me. It’s lame.

What I have enjoyed is doing more daytime things. A walk and a wild swim. A spa day. Going to the cinema is nice. Going to the beach (also a swim, I swim all year round) and having cake and tea/coffee on the beach. Or just a nice meal at home, you could make it a dinner party with friends, but I find it’s less out of control annoying at home and you can get in the drinks of your choice.

I’m 18 months sober now so last year was my first ever birthday as adult not drinking excessively when I wasn’t heavily pregnant, and honestly it was the best birthday I’ve ever had. I was relaxed and happy and I actually really appreciated everything and I remembered it all and I woke up the morning after and felt fantastic. You will not be missing out not drinking. It just takes getting your head around it.

I don't really drink so never do for my birthday. I would just do some activities I enjoy. Cinema, mini golf, theatre, afternoon tea, meal, day out (zoo/Aquarium - I have a toddler too). Anything you fancy really

Escape room!

How about a big 4-0 birthday challenge, three peaks, rafting/ canoeing, skydive type of thing? Adrenaline is a much better buzz than alcohol (and no hangover!)

Who are the invitees? A bunch of girlfriends could have a spa afternoon?

A group of couples could do a day out together - a walk, or a trip to the beach with fish and chips.

Instead of the pub go for a nice dinner where the focus is on the quantity of food and wine, not quantity

@mindutopia makes a very good point. If the whole purpose of your night out is to get drunk and your social group is full of like minded people then sitting there all evening and nursing one drink is going to be miserable. I've never been able to handle my drink so have had plenty of nights like that over the years! I guess my social group has evolved so that I don't find myself in those situations very often. Actually, the fact that a lot of friends had children in their 30s worked well for me as it had a limiting impact on how much they could and now many of those friends are late 40s and can't tolerate alcohol as well or are seriously into sport and nutrition so it's all changed quite a lot.
So, basically, do anything other than meet at the pub at 8pm with no plans other than drinking there and going into a club!
If you still want to do an evening activity, a meal, bowling, cinema. If a meal has the potential to turn into a drinking session, pre-book a taxi. Where we live, many restaurants only give you a 2/2.5 hour window for a table so, when we go out, we often meet for drinks at 7.30/8.00 and then go for dinner at 9pm. This means that the staff are pretty much clearing up around you as you're finishing up which helps with the "it's getting late" feeling and you know you'd have to queue to get into any of the bars which are open later which is far too much effort, especially if your pre-booked taxi is waiting for you. Writing this reminds me that there are definitely some advantages to getting older!

Meal out, afternoon tea, trip to the theatre, day out somewhere nice, going to a gig, country walk with pub lunch, sauna and lake swim. Last birthday I went for a walk with Llamas. This year, I want to see puffins on Farne. To be fair, I am also planning a big party, but lots of my friends don't drink, or only drink at home, so it won't be particularly boozy.

I mean quality not quantity, obviously

Go to a play or a comedy show or a gig. You can have one drink before and one during or at the interval, and enjoy the entertainment.

I know people who do sporty things for their birthdays - a hike or climbing wall or wild swim ir cycle ride - you would';t want to drink anything doing those - maybe a glass in the pub afterwards.

If you still want to have a drink but not overdo it, go out for a lovely lunch and then leave when you want to, leave the boozers to party on.