How to do a trip as a birthday party for DD?

[Dandelionchaser]

I need a bit of advice for my DD's 6th birthday because we've been to loads of parties and know the "script" for those but she hasn't been to a party that's a trip out.

So this year we will have a newborn when DD turns 6 and we've told her she can't have a big party or anything in our house and it'll be an outing anywhere she likes with a few friends. She's chosen 3 friends and wants to go to the Sealife centre. This is fine but how do you make it special and like a party? They don't do any kind of party package so it'll be up to us.

I think birthday parties normally involve food of some kind but the cafe at the Sealife centre only does snacks and drinks. There are restaurants around like pizza express etc but they might be a bit little to enjoy that and one kid has arfid and gets stressed by formal eating situations. McDonald's might work but it's a good 15mins walk away from Sealife and anyway one kid is veggie so I'm not sure about that. We could invite them back to ours for a little tea but that would involve going back across town and what if they're tired out and don't want to carry on? Also was thinking of bringing a birthday cake to have at the Sealife cafe but is that too crap?

Also I think we would pay for the kids' tickets but it's a bit of the pain in the arse for the parents if they had to come in too and pay to do so. But me and DH won't be able to look after all the kids by ourselves because we'll have the baby as well. I don't know what the etiquette is there either. We're very friendly with all the parents mind you and they all know each other and each others kids.

The going is the party. Get them a happy meal on the way home.

I would not fancy Sealife with a newborn so who will take them?

I'd probably think of a different idea if you can't look after the children without the other parents there if you're expecting the parents to pay for their own ticket, I wouldn't be impressed with that!
Maybe just stick to a little tea party at home with some craft activities or games?

Well, one version is I'm there too with the baby and another version is that DH goes without me but either way we can't manage 4 kids in that situation without any of the other parents!

Without baby I would love to do this but we had the same group of kids for a party in the summer and there was not a single room not ransacked by the end of it, I just can't!

Honestly with 3 i would have it at home. Get some craft kits, like decorating a box, bead making and then do party tea. So much less stressful.

I think you need to choose something that isn’t the Sea Life Centre. You can’t expect parents to stay but also pay for themselves. And I think you do need to feed them (and do cake, or else doesn’t really seem like a birthday party). Save the Sea Life Centre for a special family day out and choose something more manageable or where parents can get in for free, and where you can buy or provide food (a lunch box for everyone is fine, catering for dietary needs with any help from parents).

Who is paying for the other parents? Not sure I'd be too happy to fork out for a ticket.

My kids are older now, so have done various trips out parties. They've never involved other parents though

Have you got a sibling or parent that can help out with the other children?

You can’t expect parents to come with you! I wouldn’t want to spend £25 for the privilege of taking my child to celebrate someone else’s birthday!
The sea life centre is expensive.
You either make it work on your own or you need a friend or family member to come with you.
Or you need a new plan!
I’d be doing it at home myself. Just be firmer and keep them out of places you don’t want messing up!

Are you sure you can't manage 4 six year olds with just one of you? I think you either have to wrangle another adult into helping (and pay for their ticket) or you can't really do it, or you need to make it two friends not three (or whatever).

McDonalds (could you pop in on the way home?) sounds like a good idea, or do a birthday lunch at home with cake beforehand, or afterwards?

The sea life I went to had hot dogs and other junk. Is there a McDonald's nearby perhaps? The trip is the party but some food offered is a good extra, doesn't need to be posh

You and your dh can easily look after 4 kids at the sealife centre even with a baby. If one of you takes charge of the baby, the other can point dd and friends in the right direction. I'd have a ratio of 1:15 if I did a school trip to somewhere like that.

Buy some of those cardboard picnic boxes and make a bespoke picnic with dietary appropriate treats in for each kid. Take a Colin the caterpillar cake and sing happy birthday and have a little picnic at the end. I assume there's some picnic seating somewhere?

Do the sealife centre provide any thing like a trail or a quiz they can do on their way around?

And having just been, sea life would be fine with a very young baby in my opinion, I certainly did things like this when I had a toddler and newborn (I went to the zoo at 5 days post partum)

Is there a particular reason you can't manage these 4 kids? I regularly take my kids and their friends out and I wouldn't expect anyone to help with just 4 of them. Two of my son's 3 besties don't like big parties so each year the mum will take the 4 boys out somewhere - bowling or soft play or whatever. None of the other parents go along and it wouldn't occur to me that they'd think I would come. Think they started doing this when the boys were 4.

I would either choose an option that you can easily supervise (bowling is super easy as it is contained - or something like pottery painting?) or have them round at yours for a tea party sort of thing.

If you do bring them to the centre I agree that picnic boxes and a cake would be fine :)

You can't have a party/trip to the sea life if you can't look,after the children you have invited. Just invite one friend if you can't look after three or have a party at home.

I think you should ask one parent -that you are pals with- to come and help (and should pay for their entry) if you don’t have someone who comes to mind as always being game then this is awkward and I would rethink.

but frankly if you intend my kid to a trip I would expect you to transport them and supervise them, and not expect me to pay for accompanying them.I’d much prefer to take my kid there solo than trail after someone else’s birthday party kids

The outing with friends to a special place is a treat. You should pay for children and provide them some sort of food. It could be snacks in the middle of the visit but it should be something and you should be clear about what you are going provide on the invitation.
Does the centre have picnic area? In this case you can take birthday cake or cupcakes with you, juice, maybe fruit sticks in a container or whatever suitable for kids and make a little picnic.
4 kids for one adult is not realistic. You can’t send DH with them as there might be a question about visiting toilet or anything else. DH can go alongside you but not on his own.
I would ask other parents to help but in this case you have to pay for their tickets.

I have never had a party at home- the park is great for parties whatever the weather. My son has a January birthday and we’ve had the last 6 parties in the park.

You can't expect the other children's parents to go unless you pay for them to, and even then it's a big ask - they are likely to also have other children (and / or work and other commitments) to juggle.

Four six year olds really should be manageable for one adult tbh unless they're very badly behaved indeed - if one needs the toilet you all go together. Cake in the cafe is fine if staff will keep it for you while you go around, and just get them chips as well or something - six year olds would usually love that.

Otherwise just have a tea party or even easier a pizza party at your house for the four of them and let them watch a film.

You and DH is two kids each and the baby in a sling or pram. That seems doable?
Take them to the Sealife centre, swing by McDonalds on the way home then have their parents pick them up from yours with a party bag and a slice of cake.

I think this is brilliant.

2x adults, with baby in the pram and 4 younger 6 year olds is very doable.

Pop picnic boxes /cake underneath pram- problem solved.

I hope your daughter has a great day.

I would either only invite as many kids as you can look after yourselves, or ask other adult(s) to come and pay for them. Given the dietary issues I’d take a simple picnic, including some form of cake (or cupcakes). I would think that would be special enough - or happy meals on the way home would work too. Sounds like a nice day to me - I would happily take 4 six year olds and a newborn with 2 adults (though think you do need 2 adults to crown control loo trips etc).

You, DH, baby and 4 six year olds sounds manageable to me. They will be confined to the Sealife centre.
Is there a cafe there where you can do a lunchbox and birthday cake at the end? That would be ideal. I don’t see the problem with just having cake. Children often don’t even eat the savoury stuff at parties. And you could buy them a small Sealife themed gift instead of a party bag. What 6 year old wouldn’t be pleased with that?
I totally get why you don’t fancy having them at your house at the moment. I would try and do it all at the Sealife centre.

When dd was 5. I took her and three friends to an indoor tropical world place. It was about an hour's travel way. We had a snack in the cafe, then came home for party tea and birthday cake. I let them all choose something from the gift shop too (with a buffet). They were made up!

I too think that one (or two) of you can manage 4 kids. They'll be in a sea life centre, only so much they can do and I would expect them to stick together. Either get snacks at the restaurant or take them to a drive thru on the way home.