How to do a trip as a birthday party for DD?

[Dandelionchaser]

I need a bit of advice for my DD's 6th birthday because we've been to loads of parties and know the "script" for those but she hasn't been to a party that's a trip out.

So this year we will have a newborn when DD turns 6 and we've told her she can't have a big party or anything in our house and it'll be an outing anywhere she likes with a few friends. She's chosen 3 friends and wants to go to the Sealife centre. This is fine but how do you make it special and like a party? They don't do any kind of party package so it'll be up to us.

I think birthday parties normally involve food of some kind but the cafe at the Sealife centre only does snacks and drinks. There are restaurants around like pizza express etc but they might be a bit little to enjoy that and one kid has arfid and gets stressed by formal eating situations. McDonald's might work but it's a good 15mins walk away from Sealife and anyway one kid is veggie so I'm not sure about that. We could invite them back to ours for a little tea but that would involve going back across town and what if they're tired out and don't want to carry on? Also was thinking of bringing a birthday cake to have at the Sealife cafe but is that too crap?

Also I think we would pay for the kids' tickets but it's a bit of the pain in the arse for the parents if they had to come in too and pay to do so. But me and DH won't be able to look after all the kids by ourselves because we'll have the baby as well. I don't know what the etiquette is there either. We're very friendly with all the parents mind you and they all know each other and each others kids.

If you are going for a trip, you need something that you can manage without extra adults. So, it sounds like sealife centre is out, or needs reducing in scale. How many kids do you think could you manage??

Any of the food options sound OK - tho I'm not sure about taking a cake into a Cafe. Personally, I'd do McD. The veggie will be fine from their menu.

Your DH and 4 6 year olds should be doable? Even more doable if you and the baby are there too. It’s an enclosed space, what exactly do you think they’re going to get up to?!
Honestly I’d be a bit put out to be told I had to accompany my child and would have to pay for myself.

Please don't ask the parents to go and on top of that pay for themselves. They won't thank you for it.

Can one of you look after the baby and the other one takes the lead hosting at your house?

Tbh in that situation I'd just do a soft play or similar with more friends so you can watch with the baby and your house doesn't get messed up.

This all sounds great.
Does the sea life centre allow you to bring in your own food and cakes? Many places who serve/sell food don’t.

You can manage four kids and a baby with two adults , I expect? Or one parent take dd and her friends? Is there a massive drip feed like complex needs?

You can take a picnic? That way the arfid child can have exactly what they are used to / bring their own?

When we’ve done an ‘invite 3 friends’ day out type birthday we’ve picked up the friends and dropped them home afterwards. Do you and dh both drive?

Do you actually have the newborn yet or is the baby still on the way?

If the latter - personally I wouldn’t plan anything ambitious - and particularly anything requiring taking the baby along - when you don’t know what the baby is going to be like. They could be a chilled dream bundle or they could be an unsettled screamy nightmare and you and DH may be zombies.

So either do a Sealife trip IF DH reckons he can manage alone, or plan something easier/closer to home. (not home though! With you on that!). IME kids at 6 don’t really see the difference between Sealife and something lower key like softplay, both are a treat.

What is there near you?

Thank you to everyone here, you've given me a lot to think about! The reasons I'm concerned about watching all of the kids is that my mobility was terrible after DD and this is another section so I don't feel I can commit to being there. And then because it's not the easiest group of kids, one spends most parties clinging to her mum, another is on the ASD spectrum. DD herself won't go to the toilet on her own when out. Just seems very hard.
I'm considering bowling as an alternative, as one PP suggested. Seems easier in the sense that other parents could be there without paying and you can order your chicken strips etc to the lane. Again I'm fretting though because I don't know if they'd be mature enough to stick to the turn taking and not have meltdowns. Like I said it's not the easiest group of kids 😅

Sounds completely doable as long as the baby is a few weeks old. My dd6 had a party when her sister was newborn and it was fine.
I wouldn’t over complicate it, sling for baby and snacks in cafe or McDonald’s on the way home.
only problem you might have is getting everyone on one car - what if you end up with a section?

What about a soft play or inflatables park? I did 12 6 year olds at an inflatables park on my own! An hour playing, followed by 40 mins in a party room where food was provided. We took our own cake.

What about the cinema, ask another parent to come along and pay them in. That way you get to sit and if one needs the toilet the others are being watched. Popcorn and snacks in your bag

Make life easy for yourself and do a soft play or similar. A day trip is something to do as a family, not with several children who aren't going to be able to cope without their own parents

It sounds like a lovely idea but you absolutely can't expect children's parents to pay to attend. You either have to manage the children or pay for the parents to join. Otherwise, do something like soft play and that way, she can invite more friends if she's keen on a larger party.

Could you ask a couple of reliable and capable family members or friends to help you at home? Save the Sea Life Centre for another day.
Sort a few easy games, maybe some clothes to dress up in, individual food boxes or plates and a shop made cake? Easy craft activities which include lots of stickers would go down well too.
It would be much less work for you to do, and the children will feel safer and more secure too.

I honestly think you will be fine with two of you and the baby. We have 5 kids and have done days out with a newborn. Two adults makes it easier if anyone needs to go to the loo, someone to keep an eye on the kids while you order food etc.
although is your car big enough to take them all of you are also taking them to McDonald’s etc? Is it all within walking distance of each other?

I think I'd be inclined to do the Sealife Centre as a family trip for all of you. I feel like an at home party would actually be less stressful than what's being suggested?!

DD is having another craft party this year at a local crafts place, they do some ceramics painting and stuff a teddy and then do some party games, with snacks. Maybe something like that would be good?

To answer about car - no, we would be herding them all on the bus.

Two adults sounds fine. Put one of the other parents on standby in case you aren’t up to it.

which sea life is it? May be easier to suggest food options if we know. Also may be able to get 2-4-1 tickets with national rail!

I have a 6yo and there's no way I'd consider this sort of trip for a birthday. Most parties are in venues with some kind of activity then a space for eating. You really need all of that in one confined space, and preferably indoors. If you don't want to hold it in your home (I wouldn't either), try to find the cheapest hall you can and get an entertainer, or if you want to do a visit somewhere, find a venue that does party packages with a room for catering. Our local city farm or the zoo does them. I wouldn't consider herding lots of young kids on public transport and taking them to a separate cafe.

How far does everyone live from the Sealife Centre? Just ask the parents to drop their children off at the Sealife Centre and pick them up an hour and a half later. Don’t make things too complicated.

I have to say I didn’t do “small group outing” type parties till age 8+. They get too bored on the journey and can’t be trusted not to run off or muck about.

Honestly itd be easier to just take them to soft play.

You probably only need one parent to stay so could ask if anyone would volunteer. I’d be fine to esp if you had a new born. You should definitely buy their ticket though (I received wine and chocolate - I wasn’t expecting it but it’s a nice surprise!)

In a nicest possible way I think you’ve been unrealistic.
i would rather plan something walkable in the area.
Don’t dismiss Sealife centre’s idea. Maybe you can go as a family and make it DD’s present.