Dd is broken

[ffffffsssss]

She just won’t sleep. Woke at 11 wet, changed, clean pyjamas, back to bed. No chance.

I have taken her downstairs and put the tv on which isn’t ideal I know but honestly nearly two hours later and I was losing my mind.

She’ll still be up before 6, if she goes down at all.

How old is she?

14 months

I feel for you! Does she nap through the day?

Oh I remember this with my ds when he was that age. I had the worst time when he was between 10 mo -16 mo. He just wouldn’t sleep and I tired everything. Tied co-sleeping but he’d be jumping on top of my head awake in the dark. I did end up going downstairs with him quite a lot in the end after giving up.

I’m sorry, op. It’s really bloody hard. You end up feeling so tired you could be physically sick.

I did start to sleep train ds at 16 mo and it helped. Not cry it out method, but the slow retreat. If I’m honest, I can’t even fully remember because everything was a haze at that point. In the end I just tried to get him as content as possible in his cot, so that even if he wasn’t asleep I could sleep somewhat just for my sanity.

I know this probably isn’t helpful. I just wanted to empathise with you, it’s draining as hell.

If it’s any consolation, he’s 5 now and he’s been an amazing sleeper since age 2 with the occasional blip.

Hang in there x

Thank you. It’s awful, she’s in her cot now crying but there’s nothing more I can do for her. I just don’t know what to do.

Is she ok?

Teething or Ear infection possibly

She’s permanently teething.

Yes, I have this now with my 2 year old. And he's been like it his whole life.
DH has some success with a wide soft artists brush, up and down the cheek and forehead. Doesn't work for me sadly, I just get laughed at.

It’s grim. I’m really struggling with it at the moment, it feels like I go from endless day shifts to endless night shifts with no break.

try (and aye i know ..proper amber beads).......both of ya....let her in beside you?sing..together

It does become easier I promise. But it's so bloody hard,
Teething is relentless

Can her dad take a stint so you can put earplugs in for a couple of hours? Have you any friends or family who could have her overnight (my DGD has always slept fairly well for us even when waking frequently at home)? This too shall pass.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I decided to start cosleeping at 9 months as I was losing my mind, but I know that doesn't work for everyone.

Take her to bed with you. Send husband to the spare room. Push the pillows well out of her way, and shove the duvet down so it just covers her feet and your waist. Co-sleeping is the answer - you just need to do it safely. Worked for my 3.

Do you need to size up nappies? I co slept with mine at that age. I bought these bed guards that went all round the bed so there was no way the baby could crawl out while I was sleeping.

Have you tried some Calpol. I used to resort to it occasionally with ds3 although he was a little bit older when he started pulling his all nighters. I know it’s not ideal but he’s 18 now and it doesn’t seem to have done much any harm.

It's normal for a 14m to wake in the night. It's normal for everyone to wake in the night. She is not broken and you don't need to fix her. Will she feed to sleep? Will she be rocked to sleep? Why is she being left alone to cry? Pick her up and cuddled her. Count how many hours of sleep she gets in a 24 h period. That's her number. That's how much sleep she needs. If you don't want her to wake up in the night for long stretches then minus that many hours from her day sleep. Give her a later bedtime or giver her a shorter nap.

You have got unrealistic expectations. What's wrong with waking up before 6am? Lots of kids do that. Mine wakes up at 5am and goes to bed at 7.30 or 8pm and they are nearly 2. They are tiny creatures and they need to be close to their mother. Bring her in bed with you. Your baby is not broken, your expectations are.

I'm up with my toddler a similar age. I feel broken but she is not

Oh, this is a crap time! I remember it so well. To start, this is normal! Very painful but normal. Is she still having 2 naps? She might be ready to transition to one. I found that putting them down before 7.30 or 8, resulted in more overnight wakeup (no 6pm bedtime baby here). If it continues, either take her to your bed or throw a mattress in her room. Make sure the room is safe, close the door and you grab some rest on the mattress until she settles (with you or in her bed). You can do a Montessori style floor bed for her. I tried the tv route, but found they woke specifically to re-watch the movie.

Your empathy and kindness is broken.

@Ottersmith I think you are broken! What a nasty reply

I've got empathy for the baby who can't control any of this.

Apparently I was a baby that didn't sleep! I'm still a night owl! Dd1 didn't sleep either, but it DOES get easier, i promise! (Dd1 is 20 now, and apparently sleeps fine!)
But it's hard, I know! It will get better. By the time she was 2 she would at least stay in bed!

I’m up with a 6m old. I keep crying.

I was one of the lucky ones, until the 12th September she has slept amazingly from 10 weeks old. Now she just doesn’t sleep. DH is starting a new job, we’re all getting over covid so feel like utter shit and I’ve not slept at all yet.

baby has always been a night owl, but would sleep 1-9/10 straight through. I know we’ll get through it, but I feel fucking horrendous and this lack of sleep is not helping.

At this age we bought a double bed for DD’s room and one of us would decamp when she woke. The quicker got there the quicker she went back asleep and then we could sleep.

she was a terrible sleeper and still is. She got up at 1am to go to the toilet and shouted Night night mummy to wake me up as she went back to bed.

then again her mum is on mumsnet at 4am so could be my genes biting me on the bum.