I am ashamed

[Bookridden]

I am 51 years old and 3.5 stone overweight. This is entirely because I am greedy and seemingly unable to manage my portion sizes or resist the lure of high calorie foods. As a result of being obese, I get out of breath and sweaty really easily. I disgust myself (and probably some of the people around me tbh). Yet even this self disgust doesn't seem to spur me in to tackle this obesity.

I am ashamed to seek medical help. I don't know why I'm posting really. This is a problem entirely if my own making. I wish I could do better.

A friend has achieved this with Slimming World.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Have you thought of Overeaters Anonymous?

Changing eating habits is gradual and it's a marathon rather than a race. One step at a time.

It sounds like a vicious circle to me. You are only human. I don't think you can do this without help - personally I've found slimming world meetings really supportive and quite fun to go to.

Well stop with the self hate, for a start ❤ do you know how much money the food industry puts into making high fat high calorie food, and how addictive it is? It's not your fault for being addicted to bad food, and you're not disgusting.

It's not a lack of willpower, it's just very hard to give up delicious food that has been designed to make us want more and more of it (in our current society).You're not bad or horrible.

OP, the majority of adults in the UK are overweight and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. Modern food is highly addictive by design and our brains are wired to want more. If you could find someone to talk to you about these feelings it could really help, then make a few small changes which help your lifestyle. Be kind to yourself

I was the same a year ago. More overweight than you actually. I’ve lost 6 stone on Mounjaro. It’s not necessarily for everyone but it worked for me

First thing is to not be down on yourself. Your weight is not an indication of who you are and IF anyone is judging you then they need to take a long hard look at themselves.

I understand that losing 3.5 is daunting so you need to break it down into manageable goals and not beat yourself up if you have an off day.

What are your circumstances? Changing your diet to lose weight requires a bit of up front work but I always feel it's important it fits in with family life.

Decide how you would like to tackle it - don't want go low carb, would you consider weight loss drugs.

Please be kind to yourself.

It's a vicious circle with all that negative self talk. I would really work on being kinder to yourself OP. Being fat is not a personality defect. You're a good person, you're just fat.

Try and think about food as feeding yourself good things because you deserve healthy food.

Everyone eats biscuits, don't punish yourself for it.

If you can afford it, try Mounjaro. You will be able to experience life through the eyes of someone who doesn’t struggle with food issues, and hopefully you will see that these issues you’re experiencing are not a personal failing. It’s quite eye opening. After a while, you’ll find that you naturally gravitate towards healthier foods and your self esteem and overall well-being will improve. This will help set you up for when you’re no longer on the injections and have experienced what it’s like to live not beholden to foods, and will hopefully have broken the addiction to fat/sweets/highly processed foods.

Have you tried eating low carb? I had 3 stone to lose and I have kept it off by eating low carb. Our metabolisms change through menopause. I am also 51.

OP the only thing which has worked for me is Mounjaro.
I was kind of against the idea for ages - it seemed like a cop-out - but I decided (because I was 11st overweight and getting older) that it could not hurt to give the injections a go.

What a revelation.

I am now 5st down and feeling so much better in myself. Mounjaro takes away the food noise, and stops me from feeling hungry all the time.

I strongly recommend you give MJ a go. Yes, it's expensive, but you can get discounts, and you're not buying anywhere near as much food once you're on them.

You’re assuming you know why you over eat and gain weight, you may be right but there maybe other medical issues. If you don’t do something now, you’re very likely to encourage more medical problems in the longer term.

Please bite the bullet and see your GP or other medical assistant. They will be keen to get you on track to better health and mental well-being and you deserve to feel happier and more comfortable. Don’t forget, your situation really isn’t unusual.

As a PP said, just baby steps. Think of one or two pounds a week. It sounds like you need an eating plan to satisfy your appetite and also your taste buds, a real holy grail, but be realistic. You don’t want to set yourself up to fail.

@martinisforeveryone - there is no need to quote the opening post to add your reply. Everyone assumes you are replying to the OP unless you say otherwise. Imagine how long the thread would be if everyone responding quotes the OP!

Same applies to @User6874356.

Join your local slimming world club. Everyone else there will be in the same boat as you and there will be no judging.

You will be able to learn more about your relationship towards food and how your view it.

also get yourself out walking every day. Start small, just to the end of the road etc and build yourself up. Great for the body and mind.

Please don't be ashamed, there are millions of us with you.

It would be well worth going to see your GP because they would be able to do a blood test and check you over in case you are at risk from becoming Type 2 diabetic (I am in the risk zone). They will also be able to give you advice on where to seek help to change your eating habits little by little.

First of all - stop being so hard on yourself
There are many many options available to you
From injections to specifics like IF , Keto , WW, Slimming world , 1-1 , blood sugar diet .. I could go on
Think about what suits you and your lifestyle , finances etc and make a start

Slimming world has helped me lose 3.5 stones since March and I'm loving it. I'm older than you and am now concentrating on making a lifestyle choice to change to healthy eating rather than a diet .

Go for it OP , you can do it 💐

Thank you for your kind replies. I'm going to have a go at calorie deficit. Apparently I need to stay at 1700 calories a day for a slow and steady weightloss. I can only try, yes?!

I would strongly recommend joining a support group whatever you do. It’s so easy to fall ‘off the wagon’ on a hard day and that support really helps you think “oh well it’s just one day” rather than “oh bugger I have totally failed, I’ll just eat this entire garlic bread”. (Speaking from experience).

Please don't be so hard on yourself. It is nothing to be ashamed of and it's far more common than you're maybe realising. I started way bigger I'm sure! I've gone from 16st 5lbs last October to 11st 5lbs at the moment. I haven't used any of the weight loss injections that everyone seems obsessed with at the moment. You do not need them. Simple calorie deficit, be brutally honest with yourself about portion sizes and snacking (use My Fitness Pal or similar to keep track, and measure out your food to begin with) and up your water intake. That's it. I've stuck to approximately 1200 calories a day since October, give or take a handful of days where I've gone over to 1400. I cut out all alcohol, all cheese and all bread (can still have wraps!) and switched to dairy alternatives.
It has made a huge difference. Typing this wearing a size 10 top and size 12 skirt, I was a size 20+ back at the start. You are capable of it. Just give yourself time and be patient with yourself too.

Definitely!! Well done on making a positive decision! 🌺

I think you're right to go for 1700 cals a day as that's fairly sustainable. Just my 2 pennies, but I find it easier when I include lots of lean protein in my diet - it makes you feel full and well and is low cal too! Good luck we are all rooting for you x

Disgust won’t help. Loving yourself and feeling confident and able and beautiful will spur you on. Self hatred keeps you fat.

Food addiction is very difficult because unlike some other addictions, you can avoid them completely.

Medical professionals won't judge you for wanting to seek help. Maybe join weightwatchers / slimming world, add a little bit of exercise, cbt, etc. There's even a section on mn for weight watching full of supportive people.

Just remember small steps!

Do what all the other people do in England .. just keep buying more .. Bye !

How are you getting on @Bookridden? Hope you're ok and being a bit nicer to yourself too.