Ex and having dog put to sleep.

[Tumbleweed101]

I am really wound up tonight. Perhaps unreasonably.

In 2009 we got our dog. We had four children, youngest 6mths.

In 2011 my ex left us all. I was left with children and dog (he had been the one to push to get her). Over the years ex has been poor at paying maintenance for the children and wouldn’t help with dog food, vet bills etc.

Tomorrow we have the dog put down. She is 15 and her health is poor. It is time.

Am I unreasonable to be annoyed ex wants to be there. He goes months without seeing the children and lives over an hour away. He won’t pay towards any costs tomorrow. I’m not outwardly making a fuss for the children’s sake but inside it has really annoyed me he wants to be there now but hasn’t bothered for the last decade.

Tell him no. I can't fathom why you'd entertain this emotional vampirism.

Let him be there. So sorry it's heartbreaking.

Definitely not unreasonable to be annoyed at all, he sounds like a prize wanker. I wouldn't facilitate this but I probably wouldn't block it either, just grey rock the twat and refuse to entertain any mawkishness on his part. It's not your problem if he feels sad.

No. He abandoned all of you and wouldn't even help support her. I'm betting he never looked after her in the two years of her life he was there. (Sounds like my arsehole brother who demanded we get a dog and never in her fifteen years lifted a finger to care for her.) Fuck him, he has no business being there.

Tell him to fuck off

I wouldn't have told him in the first place, and I'd tell him and the kids that there isn't enough room at the vets. He doesn't get to come, it's fuck all to do with him

First of all so sorry for you and your lovely pup. Hard decision but I am sure you’ve made the best call. When did he last see the dear doggie? If not recent don’t engage. It will ruin it for you. So sorry and big love xxx

Exactly, this prick will make it All About Him. He didn't care enough for her even to help pay for her food, let alone be involved in her life. He has no right to be there at all.

So he knew the dog for 2 years - 13 years ago?

Not a chance I would have told him

He’s a cunt.
Tell him the wrong time. By at least an hour or two.
He doesn’t get to show up and be all, oh poor doggy 😔

I totally agree

The children told him (they are teens/young adults). He did do quite a bit with her as a young dog - he was the one who wanted her but he left her ‘for the kids’ when he went. He last saw her a few months back when he came to pick up one of the children.

Since it was the children who involved him I feel like I have to put up with it for their sake, it’s already going to be emotional but has just irritated me.

He can come if he is paying the bill. If not say no and mean it.

Will it help the dog to have him there? Go with what your gut tells you is the right response because you know the dog.
I hear you venting and how unfair it is sometimes.

Tell him can only come if he pays the Vet's bill.

I'd say no op. Ok fine they told him but this is your dog that you're paying the costs for. Take the kids if they want to come but don't allow ex to come.

Rush out after the appointment and leave him to pay..

Who will benefit from him being there exactly? If its not you then tell him no.
Its not exactly a spectator sport anyway.
I am sorry about your ddog

I would say that is not in the dog's best interests. Your dog should be with it's main caregiver at the end, no-one else. You want a nice clam relaxed environment and your dog will sense your tension.

I would also advise not taking the kids, like I said, nice and calm which it won't be with crying children.

No don't do this. They will chase OP for payment as obviously the vet will have her address on their records. I doubt the ex will hang around and pay.

I disagree. We had our pug PTS a month ago. I was a blubbering mess the day and morning after learning there was nothing more we could do for her. Should I have not been there then either?

Two of the children want to go. My 24yo and my 15yo who was just 6mths old when we got her and so doesn't know life without her. The other two have chosen not to go. They are old enough to choose and old enough to step out if they need to.

We took her to lay on the beach yesterday as her goodbye day out.

This is all kinds of tough. Thinking of you.