Can a husband do anything to restrict his wife's spending ??

[TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44]

Asking on behalf of a family member......their wife has severe mental health issues and her spending habits are out of control. As in she's spending hundreds on good weeks, thousands on bad weeks. Mental health is very bad at the moment, any attempt to talk to her is met with verbal and physical abuse. Her husband is currently staying elsewhere due to this.

Mental health services are being useless, they won't help unless she self refers. Like a lot of people with her issues she thinks her behaviour is perfectly fine. Everyone else is the issue.

I've suggested going via the bank as we're honestly at a loss now. Her husband gave in work to care for his wife. No benefits as they have too much in savings which are being wasted fast.

Can anyone advise ?? Is there any help out there for this situation??

We don't press charges on the UK ,

No we don't but if the only victim and witness refuses to give a statement or can be difficult for the police to meet CPS thresholds

Not sure what you're on about but in the UK police can press charges in cases of domestic violence even when the other party doesn't want to pursue it.

He doesn’t have to press charges for a bank to follow their obligations for vulnerable customers (which they would both be). He needs to talk to the bank really.

Financial abuse. Banks must help now per the regulator

@TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 either party is permitted to empty joint accounts. if that is the only way to stop her spending, then he must do it as well as cancel cards. he does not need her permission to empty account. account is left open. obviously, if she is being abusive when he restricts her access to money then he needs to check into an hotel without letting her know where he is, or she will just go to hotel and beat him up!

We've repeatedly tried to get her sectioned and assessed properly.

During the last incident he called police and asked for an ambulance as she was completely out of control. They came out and arrested her. A neighbour once drove her to A&E because of the state he found her in. I ended up going up with her and it was bloody scary how she switched personality and manipulated the mental health nurses. When I started explaining what had been going on she lost her shit and ran off. She was deemed as having capacity and they just let her go.

I can think of at least 3 incidents in my local area (( same provider )) where people have murderd a parent or someone else during a manic episode deespite numerous referrals and pleas for help. I honestly don't think people realise how bad some areas are until they're the ones living through it. I know I didn't.

fucking disgusting? So that is you, ok?
you should say this. Speak up more please, let me see is she abusing you or really you are abusing her

which one of those are you:

We've repeatedly tried to get her sectioned and assessed properly.
During the last incident he called police

I'm a member of her family who's supported her for years........I've also been on here for years. 🙄

you said she is a wife of a friend

Yes it’s simple.

Husband opens new account at another bank. Puts money & paycheck there. No awkward conversations.

Change old account to no overdraft. This should not require her … if can do over the phone, have a woman pretend to be her & know the birthdays etc they will ask. Usually they just want “a voice” to “agree” to no overdraft.
Transfer ££ each week to Give her a weekly spend.
If wife has own income. Into the shared account, be sure no overdraft and have mortgage & other expenses transferred to new bank as soon as wages paid.

No I didn't

Please move on and leave the op alone @Ifoughthefight

Keep posting also
My posts are not trollic so I can post also

Ignore the trolls. They clearly have no knowledge of mental illness.
I’m so sorry to hear you area is so lacking in support… if there have been 3 murders , could you raise it with a newspaper or your MP? It does sound like the local trust are useless and need an overhaul…
In the short term, I don’t know what else to suggest other than sectioning! Maybe calling the ambulance in another part of the UK?! Or could it be done privately?

The only thing he can do is move the money to an account she can't access. That's it.

Other than that, there isn't much anyone can advise.

I'm ignoring them.......ignorance is bliss if you're the one lucky enough to be living in it !!

She had private therapy years ago but it was extremely expensive and tbh she didn't get anywhere. She's also had CBT on the NHS but struggled to engage and ended up falling out with the therapist. This is often how things go when people try pointing out how her behaviour affects others or to suggest new ways to handle things......her behaviour is full of negativity but I can also see how it stems from her childhood. Not being believed and being the weaker person, having no control etc.

IF there is a good paper trail - and it sounds like there is - of him trying really hard to access support etc then yes, I would transfer all savings out of the joint account (without closing them). Cancel any overdraft capability and leave her PIP going in there, which she can spend as she wishes, while he seeks support.

NB I would do this without telling anyone BUT I'd want to be satisfied there is a proper paper trail, because he does risk being looked at for financial abuse/deprivation of assets. The banks are really black and white here. But I feel like he has to take the risk given there's going to be no money left soon.

Very sad to read.
Medication might help, to the point she won't have the energy to spend money or become physical.
Speaking from experience.
But what kind of living is that?
Sorry.

When you call the bank ask for their vulnerable customer team. Even if they don't have one those words should make their ears prick up.

As the carer for a vulnerable person the Local Authority has a s.42 Safeguarding duty for him under the Care Act 2014 even if she refuses to engage with services herself.

If I were leading that safeguarding enquiry I would be suggesting that a financial deputyship is required via the court of protection.

Do you know if he has been discussed at the local MARAC meeting?

If you are in England then be super careful with the joint account. Any debt in a joint account is "jointly and severally liable".
Which means if she runs up a debt the bank can chase him to pay it back.

I think the safest thing is to get the joint account closed and moved into 2 separate accounts.