People who don’t want to dance at a wedding…

[Wedds]

What do you do to cater for them?
I love a dance so we’re having a DJ and dancefloor but I know some of my guests aren’t dancers. There’s an outdoor area that people can go to if they don’t want to hear music but wedding is in April so likely to shower at least… so what can I do inside the same room as the DJ for them that’ll help them feel part of the wedding but not bored watching the dancers?
Thanks!

Comfortable area with both seating and standing room, and drinks around, and NOT loud music. I hate dancing and don't want to scream-lipread all evening.

Let them sort themselves out, they usually find others who don't dance and end up chatting all night very happily. You can't control everything and you'll wear yourself out trying to do that. Let them get in with it, they'll be fine.

I've had four grown kids get married and non-dancers happily chatted and watched the dancing.

I might have brought knitting (in a nice leather bag along with other things needed for the outdoor wedding) but didn't take it out. I rarely leave my house without a small project along, the thought of nothing to keep my hands busy if needed makes me really anxious.

My youngest son is getting married next summer and his fiancée is much like me in that respect. She always has a big backpack with a notebook and paints, some crocheting, her iPad, and a Switch in it. She wouldn't bat an eyelid if I pulled out knitting at the reception! I'm sure I'll be much too busy visiting with out-of-town family, helping keep an eye on grandkids, and meeting her relatives to bother.

Space they can chat is all you need to do.

My nephews wedding was non stop club type music which was a shame as I love a wedding disco with proper dad dancing and people doing the boat song thing on the floor and YMCA... luckily there was a slightly quieter area with tea available (brilliant!) where us who didn't want to revisit Ibiza could sit and chat.

But at a normal wedding disco people just sit and chat so it's nice if the music isn't mega loud.

Or have a ceilidh that's great for getting almost everyone up.

I like where there are a few different rooms at a wedding, and some outdoor space with seats too. Most weddings I've gone to are at big old houses or clubs where this is the setup, rather than one large function room where you can either dance or not hear yourself talking.

It does split the wedding though, as someone said, but these are large weddings and they tend to split by age and relationship anyway.

The last wedding I went to was mainly lovely but the music was So Loud you couldn't chat in the room at all really, and there was nowhere in the entire place that wasn't outside where you could sit and not be overwhelmed by the amount of noise. I am probably a bit over sensitive to noise but I ended up going and sitting in my car for a bit to have a break and not freeze.

I really appreciate it if people think about what non-dancers might enjoy.

Agree with almost everyone else, music not too loud so they can sit and chat without having to lean in and shout in each others ears. Even better if there is a separate area such as a bar or foyer with seating in. And make sure the DJ is briefed not to do the nagging people onto the floor thing.

The best thing about weddings (apart from the ceremony) is catching up with family and friends you haven't seen for ages, that's far more important to me than dancing.

My friends hired a croupier and a roulette table to play with monopoly money. That was a big hit.

Dh's firm used to do a Christmas do. In one room they had the DJ and dancing. In the other they had something to do. The most popular year was when they had a Scalextric set.

Normally the DJ was pretty lonely (even the year where no alternative was provided). That year he was morosely playing music to himself for almost the whole evening.
The most frequent complaint about the DJ room was that no one could hear conversation, so the person that said making sure the music isn't too loud to drown conversation is making a good point. I have mild hearing issues and put music mid to loud and I can't hear anything anyone says which is pretty frustrating.

100 times this. I've been to some weddings where you can't hear yourself think never mind chat to anyone, and I've usually drifted off outside for some headspace at those occasions.

At ours the volume was limited due to there being animals on site and it certainly didn't put the dancers off dancing, while the chatters could still chat.

I love the idea of a pack of cards on each table, I'm totally stealing that!

I saw the venue in ‘evening post meal set up’ in advance and asked hotel to change a couple of things for our day. I asked that they leave the flowers and candle arrangement in table centre and put out the little baskets of after dinner mints and chocs we’d organised on tables. Wanted venue to look pretty and inviting and not ‘after the flood’ like so many post meal rooms I’d been in. I asked that the tables be arranged ‘cabaret’ style round the dance floor and not all in one area at back.

I wanted people sitting at tables / bar in back of room to be able to hear each other speak, so they’d stay in the main venue and add to the atmosphere. We were lucky enough to have a band but chose one that was sympathetic to my view that they were essentially background music, not ‘the main act’. Had been to too many weddings where lots of family who really wanted to catch up were driven out of the event room. I really wanted an ‘all ages, happy mix’ altogether as much as possible type event. I also made a point of going out to the other bar - quiet area outside fairly regularly to catch up with the much older folk and escapees and made sure they knew about evening buffet etc.