Why am I jealous of my ex girlfriend?

[putthebinoutside]

Both female and she honestly broke my heart.
She had a string of one night stands /people she's hurt.
We split and the whole relationship she mentally abused me,made me feel like I was crazy,re wrote history.
Sent me texts from other women
Massive ego ,honestly the list is endless.
She wouldn't commit etc

Fast forward we ended and the last thing I said to her was "your gonna have a lonely life,your incapable of any emotions,you don't care who you hurt "

Fast forward 11 months and she is married
This woman has money and now she's living the life of Riley.
When we were together she was skint all the time,selling things on Facebook marketplace for £5
We have mutual friends so I can still see bits on fb if she's tagged.
This year she's been on 4 holidays
She's currently in Dubai staying at the Atalantis hotel.
She went to see Adele abroad etc etc
She sold her £70,000 house and according to friend living in £280,000 house (her parents had to pay her deposit for her 70,000 house )

She's fell out with all of her family and seems like it's her and her wife now.
I'm jealous
That she was so horrible to me and other ex's
All her ex's were "crazy and unstable apparently "
One even phoned the police on her (but she did nothing wrong "
Anyway -how did she transform to this nice person who will commit ?
What did I not have that this woman does ?now and has this amazing life
The house ,the holidays ,the life style etc etc

Don't get me wrong I don't do bad myself
I get a nice holiday a year and have trips etc but not on her scale.
It's all fancy expensive

Is it normal to feel like this ?
The only saving grace is that I've seen pics of her and she's really let herself go
Doesn't seem to take pride in her appearance now.
She honestly looks dead behind the eyes

I forgot to add
I'm not normally a jealous type of person
For some reason this just really turned me into the green eyed monster

It’ll crash and burn. Probably.

She’s still the nightmare person she was - feel sorry for her future ex wife having to carve up her assets before too long.

Well it's lasted two years so far
I doubt she would leave her when she is on to a good thing

Your premise was a false one, OP. Bluntly, someone who behaved badly to you in a relationship isn’t condemned to a future of loneliness and poverty.

Quite apart from her behaviour in relationships after yours ended (and it sounds as if it’s early days in her marriage), her financial status has no bearing on her relationship status (or only in the sense that it’s easier to buy somewhere to live if two people can share the mortgage). Her parents would still have given her a deposit for her first house whether she was a nice girlfriend to you or not!

Your frankly unpleasant comments on her having ‘let herself go’ and being ‘dead behind the eyes’ make you sound not very nice. Yes, she clearly hurt you, and it’s understandable you would take a while to get over that, but it’s pretty arrogant to think that your ill-wishing is going to have any impact on her. Step away from social media.

(If it’s the slightest consolation, Dubai is a hole, and the Atlantis is ghastly.)

Block her on social media to stop picking at the scab. She might end up happy, she might not but she did not deserve you.

Don't be jealous, block delete and move on. Your time will come she was a mere stepping stone in figuring out what you don't want from a person. Social media is bullshit anyway anyone can post a smiling picture. Her behaviour will come back to haunt her one day. What goes round comes around in one way or another.

She clearly has a way of getting what she wants out of people. You seemed to tolerate her bad behaviour so she's obviously the type of person who manages to get away with it. That's why she's in a new relationship. She's just doing what she's always done. Her financial situation or that of her partner are not really worth bothering about either. Loads of people don't deserve the nice things they have. That's just part of life. But you're better off without her and her chaos.

@ASphinx her mental torture of me was also "frankly unpleasant "

Because it sucks to see horrible people doing well. For example, there was a study that kids who bully often end up highly successful in life. These people don’t get punished, they get rewarded. Life isn’t fair.

I believe you! But, respectfully, that has no bearing at all on what the rest of her life is going to be like. There’s no correlation between ‘behaving well in a relationship’ and ‘leading a lonely, impoverished subsequent existence’.

I entirely get wishing that someone who mistreated you would fall into a volcano, but it tends not to happen.

My point was she's years of bad treatment to ex's /friends /family etc
She's done some bad things
Yet she's come out smelling of roses
It's really frustrating

You can only see what is posted on social media. You have no idea what's really going on in her life or mind

Dynamics in one relationship don’t always follow on to the next one. The dynamic between the two of you didn’t work well and it ended.

Perhaps she’s just found someone where the dynamic is a better fit and they are more compatible.

Stop looking at her social media, you need to just cut contact and not worry what she’s doing. If she’s happy then good for her, you need to move on in your own way and find your own happiness too.

You need to try to let it go. Bitterness will hurt only yourself. She doesn’t know or care what you think.

But again, you’re correlating past behaviour in relationships, whether romantic/familial etc with current financial status. There’s no relationship between the two things!

We bought our house for £550,000 a few years ago. It’s probably worth a lot more now. Does that mean I should be twice as nice, and have behaved twice as well to my exes, as someone who lives in a £280,000 house?

@ASphinx no that's not what I was getting at
I meant she was awful to me and her family etc and did awful things
Didn't have a penny
Meets this woman and gets everything handed on a plate
So my point was karma doesn't seem to be working

You sound childish and immature

Karma isn’t a real, tangible thing. Why are you getting upset over make believe things?

just because you and her were not compatible, it doesn’t mean she’s not compatible with anyone else. Likewise, you will find someone you’re more compatible with. You seem to think if you can’t have her, no one can?

Honestly I think you come across badly in this thread. You need to stop stalking her on socials and discussing her with mutual friends. You sound obsessed with her, whereas I doubt she feels the same about you. This is why you’re stuck in the past and she isn’t.

If she’s as horrible as you say, then good riddance. Her not being in your life should be a good enough punishment. It’s like you think she deserves to be lonely for life.

Karma doesn’t work, @putthebinoutside — karma is just a nice fiction we tell ourselves when someone behaves badly to us, that someday, they’ll get what’s coming to them.

Sometimes, yes, something awful will happen to someone who’s wronged us, but that’s pure chance, not because the laws of the universe decide they ‘deserve’ it.

But if your ex behaves badly in her marriage, or even if she doesn’t and it ends anyway, and if her wife has ringfenced pre-marital assets, she may find herself in a similar financial position to before her marriage, if what you’re suggesting is that her house and holidays come from her wife’s income, not hers?

@onfiree it was nothing to do with being compatible
It ended because she stole money from me
Nothing to do with not being compatible
Maybe I am coming across badly
It's hard to get over being betrayed

You're not painting a person who is happy though OP. Why would you be jealous of that?

People who look dead behind the eyes and have let themselves go, are not happy people.

If she’s stealing from you and you’re not happy about that then you’re obviously not compatible

You’re better off without her, than with her. You need to understand that which means completely cutting her loose and giving her no headspace

It just sounds like you’re having a pity party

Maybe you would benefit from counselling to talk through how you’re feeling

@onfiree oh come on who would be happy with someone stealing from them
Bloody hell

That’s exactly my point. If you’re not happy with it, that clearly indicates you’re not compatible with her! Though you said it’s apparently “nothing to do with compatibility!” Jesus Christ.

I don't think a thief is compatible with most people ha ha

You sound really stuck in the past with this. Stop looking at her social media, what’s happened has happened and to keep mulling it over and wanting some sort of justice isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Leave it / her in the past and move on.