Why am I jealous of my ex girlfriend?

[putthebinoutside]

Both female and she honestly broke my heart.
She had a string of one night stands /people she's hurt.
We split and the whole relationship she mentally abused me,made me feel like I was crazy,re wrote history.
Sent me texts from other women
Massive ego ,honestly the list is endless.
She wouldn't commit etc

Fast forward we ended and the last thing I said to her was "your gonna have a lonely life,your incapable of any emotions,you don't care who you hurt "

Fast forward 11 months and she is married
This woman has money and now she's living the life of Riley.
When we were together she was skint all the time,selling things on Facebook marketplace for £5
We have mutual friends so I can still see bits on fb if she's tagged.
This year she's been on 4 holidays
She's currently in Dubai staying at the Atalantis hotel.
She went to see Adele abroad etc etc
She sold her £70,000 house and according to friend living in £280,000 house (her parents had to pay her deposit for her 70,000 house )

She's fell out with all of her family and seems like it's her and her wife now.
I'm jealous
That she was so horrible to me and other ex's
All her ex's were "crazy and unstable apparently "
One even phoned the police on her (but she did nothing wrong "
Anyway -how did she transform to this nice person who will commit ?
What did I not have that this woman does ?now and has this amazing life
The house ,the holidays ,the life style etc etc

Don't get me wrong I don't do bad myself
I get a nice holiday a year and have trips etc but not on her scale.
It's all fancy expensive

Is it normal to feel like this ?
The only saving grace is that I've seen pics of her and she's really let herself go
Doesn't seem to take pride in her appearance now.
She honestly looks dead behind the eyes

@putthebinoutside

Be thankful this nasty bitch is out of your life and is now someone else's problem;you had a very lucky escape.

Suffering emotional,psychological and verbal abuse in a relationship with someone you loved has obviously left you with unresolved trauma which is understandable.

It doesn't seem fair that she seems okay but you still feel the after effects does it?;this is what abusers do though;they don't care about their victims.

Have you thought about some counselling to her you work through your feelings?

No I haven't had counselling or anything
I wouldn't waste any more money at the hands of her
I know maybe I sound bitter but she's a massive narcissist and she just shows her true colours to a select few

You might not need to pay for counselling. You might be able to access it via your employer or the NHS for free. Relationship breakdowns are a totally valid reason to access counselling.

I completely get where you are coming from, I'm 2 weeks out of a 3 year relationship, she has countless narcissist traits. I'm struggling every day and she couldn't be less bothered and seems to be moving onwards and upwards. I know she might not be as happy as she's portrayed but it still doesn't stop it hurting, especially when I'm finding it so hard and I feel so wronged. She treated me badly. It doesn't help that we work together and I have to see her daily. I'm trying to focus on my son and rebuilding the damage she's caused to me but it's so hard and it just seems so unfair.

It's the downside of being in a same sex relationship. The break up is often horribly toxic and utterly draining.
I'm sure it's the same in mixed sex relationships too but for some reason it feels worse when it's another woman.
You'll get over it, OP. Takes a long time though or can do at least. But as pp said, get yourself off social media. You can't heal when you're getting updates all the time. And again, it's already been said, but people put things on social media they want you to see. It's not necessarily how things really are.

Stop torturing yourself by following her social media. Accept that you two were not compatible for whatever reasons. Console yourself with the fact she's not likely to have changed but maybe that works for her wife. And move on - build up your own life so you engage with things that will bring you joy - friends, hobbies, events, new job, whatever would improve your life. Then one day you'll be ready for a new, healthier relationship.

You need to stop tracking her life and get on with yours it won't get easier until you cut every last piece of her out of your life

But you yourself were in a relationship with her where she was horrid to you and an unpleasant person. I dont mean that in a blaming you way - I too have been in a shitty relationship, many on mumsnet have. But when the person that you were in a relationship with, who treated you like shit in that relationship then gets in another relationship it's easy to ask "how could anyone be in a relationship with them". The answer is - for the same reasons you were.

Be glad she is out of your life. It might not feel like it now, but this is the bast thing for you. In a few years time you won't understand why you ever missed her, or felt jealous, or cared what happened to her.