To think im going to end up alone

[MollySummers]

Hi.
Come from a small family and have an only child. Split from child's father when they were very young. He's now more involved and child prefers him. I'm re married to someone who has little family. I feel like when my child is older they're not going to have much of a relationship with me.

Anyone ?

How old is your child? Does he live with you? Kids can prefer one parent while needing both or changing who they prefer at a later date - they're pretty fickle! If you're married why do you feel you're going to end up alone?

kids grow up and have their own lives anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's 7. Sees other parent 30 percent of the time. I think it's more my child ending up alone I worry about. He prefers going there. I don't have much to say to him unfortunately

Which is what I want for him.

How can you not have much to say to your own 7 year old? And why would you end up alone when you are married?

Well I don't know. It's a happy marriage. I don't think we'll split. I just struggle to find a connection with him at times

oh i see you said that you will end up alone now it’s your child?? it’s difficult when you have little family but not much you can do about it

I’m so confused. You don’t have much to say to whom / have much of a connection with whom? Your husband, your ex, your child…?

I know. I can't force people to have kids so he can have family I suppose. Listening to all the only children on here acting like it's a fate worse than death isn't great either.

My child..

I think the fact that you don’t have much to say to your child is the biggest issue here. Why not? Have you ever bonded with him?

I used to be bonded I think. I was an almost complete single parent for 3 years and I think we were closer then. I just struggle to relate to him really.

It's difficult to chat to a 7 year old. Things will change as he grows. Your his mum and nothing will change that. Just let him know you are always there for him.

I feel like you're catastrophising here. He's seven. There is space to improve this relationship with your son. What does he like to do? What interests him? Is there anything you would like to teach him / introduce him to? Take the reigns and plan some nice stuff to do together. The future is not set in stone.

Other people seem to be so connected to their kids. He used to be pleased to see me at nursery. Now he's at school he's not really. He always asks where his dad is and when he's going back there.

He loves star wars so I try to take an interest in that. We go out all the time but he doesnt seem to want to be there or with me.

I can just imagine him wanting to live with his dad as he gets older

I can relate to how you're feeling. My relationship with my husband isn't great, and we have only one child. I did most of the childcare when my child was a baby, but as they've grown up, it feels like they prefer their dad. While I'm glad they have a good relationship, it makes me sad and anxious. If our marriage doesn't work out, I worry that I might end up alone since I don't have other family. So, I think I understand how you feel.

Thank you @whoamI00.

I just wish id made different choices

Alot of people end up alone ( in terms of seeing their kids) when they're older. Boys especially can sometimes be terrible at communicating.

OP, sounds like you miss the idea of lots of family around you. I understand. I'm totally alone as have health challenges and child no longer with me because of that.

Can you find other outlets. Groups, hobbies, anything to offer some other human connection. What about anything involving animals? Such a comfort to be around when lonely

How about a designated treat day once in a while? Where he gets to decide everything for that day, from what you have for breakfast lunch and dinner to what you do that day.
You'll find out what he likes and he'll love it!

We've done that and I was told he wants to be with his dad lol

Ask him why? Does his dad give him endless pizza and time on the tablet? Kids are fickle, mine would happily ditch me for sweets and video games. It doesn't mean they don't love me. But you could maybe ask what he likes about being with his dad and copy it a bit.