A rant about how shit houses are

[TheGreatIndoors]

Hello

I don't think I'm looking for anything outrageous but every house I look at has one of these deal breakers:

• No toilet upstairs
• No toilet downstairs
• Not enough space for dishwasher AND washing machine in kitchen (Yes I am British!)
• Bedrooms you couldn't swing a cat in (am I the only person who wants to fit some fucking furniture in there as well as the bed itself?!)
• No parking

This goes for both new/old properties, ones in town and more suburban.

All I bloody want is 2+ big bedrooms (4x4m), living room, kitchen, garden and parking. Having a bungalow would solve the toilet issue but there aren't many round here.

And that's before we get onto things like:

• no space for a proper table to eat at
• garden has been concreted-over
• no window in the kitchen
• open plan kitchen door - I prefer to close the door on mess and smell
• Living room is just a box with no focal point apart from TV hanging on wall
• place is a massive do-er upper or has some hideous damp/roof issue

It doesn't even seem to be a question of budget. Even very expensive houses with way more bedrooms than I need have the same issues.

In many ways, my current flat is actually better. 2 large bedrooms, living room, kitchen (not open plan and has window). The trouble is I have only a shared garden, no parking and obviously stairs to climb.

Fed up.

Then you move in and you get a mice problem or you realise the boiler needs replacing, or the roof starts leaking

That's the problem with buying a house - you EXACTLY what you want and where - but can you f*ing find it? Nope!

I feel your pain OP. It because housing developers build what they can get away with, not what people actually want or need, and this has been the situation for decades and decades. DH has worked a lot in Europe, and I've been to visit him in various apartments he's had a various European cities. Invariably they all seem SO much better designed than what we have to put up with here, a lot of thought seems to be put into how people actually live their lives, and the fact that the might actually need somewhere to put a washing machine, and somewhere to sit and eat their dinner, etc, etc.

I kind of see some of that as a bit of a challenge for what can be done to make it the perfect home. I don’t think you ever find exactly what you want initially so you do have to compromise and then work on it to get it where you want it to be.

That’s why it’s worth buying a fixer-upper, you can make these changes (like adding in a downstairs lavatory) as you go.

You need a good solid 1930s build by the sounds of it, give your estate agents a specific requirements list and let them filter for you.

Agree with this, a 1930s house. Sometimes they dont have a downstairs loo but there is often space under the stairs for one. Im currently in a 90s house, our next one will be 1930s, we only need two good size bedrooms and a box room for an office.

Thanks all.

Hahah, my flat is 1930s! Maybe it has spoiled me for big rooms.

I wouldn't be in such a rush to leave if the soundproofing were better and/or I didn't have downstairs neighbours with a fucking yappy ratty little dog AND a baby!!

I just sold a house I’d lived in for 20 years with no parking or downstairs loo. Can’t say either ever bothered me and I sold it in 10 days so obviously didn’t bother other people!

whereas I’m British and I HATE washing machines in the kitchen! It’s all wrong!!! Bathroom or utility room makes far more sense.

Yes, I agree. We've got a 70's house with everything the OP wants. It seems that era was a kind of "sweet spot" between the older houses which tended to have smaller kitchens, only one loo, the traditional 2 big/1 tiny bedroom, etc., and before the proliferation of tiny new build estates where you can't swing a cat and which seem to have been designed by a neanderthal cave dweller as most are completely impractical (no storage etc).

I've got a 1920s house and it seems to tick all your boxes (& mine). Can you look for one from around that period?

A separate utility would be fine but round here these only seem to come with very expensive houses.

I can't understand having the washing machine in the bathroom. I can't use it if someone is in there taking a long bath/dump?

We rebuilt our home on purpose land to get what we want ... totally worth the shit that encompasses it (I can say that now after 5 years ... at the time I was 😵‍💫🤯🙀) ... but for my utility room, large kitchen diner, snug, 5 beds 4 shower/1 bath rooms and remaining in the catchment area needed for schools
Can you possibly do something similar? Saying that the cost of building has risen a lot since we had it done so may be worth properly checking before even considering - luckily we live in a very sought after area so made a bomb
Good luck

To add bathroom/toilet in the kitchen. Who would want to come all the way to the kitchen in the middle of the night. Why? Why? Frustrated with my property search. Every property I see has some or the other issue. Small rooms, 1 bathroom, toilet in kitchen, far from the train station, not maintained well, damp issues, on busy road or too cul de sac :(. The more I view the houses the more I fall in love with my current house but unfortunately need to move.

Older houses sometimes don't have driveways/garages tho. The nice 1920/30s/older houses round here sometimes only have on-street parking nearby.

Parking may be the thing upon which I need to compromise. The bloody Government wants to make having a car almost impossible anyway.

Hahah yeah I'm very tempted to design and build my own fucking house!

I essentially want a perfect house for a single cat lady who WFH.

Are you looking in a very expensive area, I've never had that issue, we have exactly your requirements except a tiny garden, I hate gardening

Yeah, I'm looking in a fairly small and expensive city.

Totally on your page I'm sick of looking at carbon copy grey covered houses, all I want is real grass in the garden (why is everyone having plastic turf all of a sudden!) parking, and a decent kitchen, but nope, can have one or the other 🤣

My pet peeve is that houses are designed with nowhere for wet washing. The washing line is great when it's sunny, but it's Britain and it rains. Then I end up with a clothes horse somewhere, invariably in the way. I have a pulley over the stairs now, which is brilliant but not enough for the sheer volume of washing we have.

Thing is, to move from my flat to a house means taking out about 200k in mortgage. So it's really got to be worth it for me. I don't just want to be swapping one set of irritations for another. And I don't want to be moving multiple times, I want this to be my "forever home". (Much as I HATE that phrase).

@TooExtraImmatureCheddar I could not live without my tumble dryer. I keep it in my spare bedroom/office/storage room. (Luckily said room is nearly 4 x 4)

Do the houses not exist, or can you not afford them?