DH and I each earn around £60K. As of this month he will earn £60k and I will earn £59K as I am reducing hours slightly. He works five days and I work
four days a week. We have young children.
Me having Mondays off means I lose 20% of my salary, no childcare costs for that day and I spend some of that time off cleaning and doing things for the family. Overall we do share household chores but I carry about 75% of the mental and domestic load (by my own calculation).
Is if fair that we simply pay 50/50 towards everything? It probably is but I am resentful of this because when he earned slightly less he made sure he contributed less and also I am losing some of my salary for the benefit of our family. He says I should just put the children in childcare five days and work five days if I am bothered about that.
Without going into background I have paid more than 50% for as long as I have been with him for one reason or another and do more in the house too. I know the split is not fair. I knew he would not pay more than me. He has never insisted on 50/50
until now. He has also said he won't contribute to a cleaner as she doesn't do a good enough job but then who do we think does the cleaning - no prizes.