What's the most cheeky/ridiculous favour someone has asked of you ?

[TomandJerrysmousehunt]

Mine was for me to book a day off work to sit with my friend in the car for an 8 hour round trip to collect something. She didn't need help with the collecting, but wanted company in the car, other than the radio. I told her I couldn't get the day off work. I was certainly not wasting a day off work to sit in a car for 8 hours.

Hope it was 'so sorry your mummy lied to you sweetheart, l'm sure she will buy you a big present to make up for it'

Similar to this, my ex had gone round to his friends for a few drinks one night, his friend and partner had a young toddler. I’d never met either the couple or the DC but knew the couple were irresponsible with money and there were gambling and drink problems!

Ex text me asking if I could borrow the couple £20 as they had no money and the DC needed food until pay day. I obviously refused as the child wasn’t my responsibility and I knew that it probably wasn’t for them anyway, it was to be spent on drink. I got called a heartless bitch for letting a toddler go hungry 🤣

Another one - shortly after we split he text asking if he could borrow money to take another woman out on a date. I mean, wtf!? Yes, of course!!! 😃. He was evidently such a catch!

It's amazing how many people think a PA is just a general meeting room booker for all and sundry 😃

Neighbour, whom I have helped on numerous occasions, asked if she could bring her grandchildren over, everyday for two weeks so I could give them swimming lessons in our heated pool.
I have never asked her for a favour or help.
I didn't even reply to her message.

I just thought of another! This one still gobsmacks me to this day 30 years later!.

My ex bil was a creepy prat. His wife was lovely. He turned up on our doorstep one morning and told us he'd been having an affair and had tried to break it off, but the OW was going nuts . His affair partner was going to confront his wife that lunchtime and spill the beans on their affair. He wanted ME to go to his house, pretend I was his wife and act a bit upset until the OW left. He would be with his wife after meeting her from work for a surprise lunch to keep her out the way . Thus keeping his nasty little secret. Lol!.

Obviously I said no. The inevitable happened and wife finds out. I then got a visit from ex mil who told me I'd ruined their relationship and she hoped I was proud of myself. I replied yes!.

@babore that is nuts! His poor wife. I'm glad she's free of him and that he's your ex bil.

I was moving house and a friend offered to drive me, I said great would pay the fuel.
He had a big 3 row of seats thing. Massive with the 2 rows of seats out.

I filled the thing up £100.
Arrived 2 ish not 9am, with his wife and child, so only 1 row removed, I piled loads into the back, but only half the amount expected.
They didnt want to drive back that night like he had agree, to do a 2nd load.
I had to buy takeaway for 4 not 2.
So we went hone next day. He was too tired to drive so went home.
I had to hire a van to finish.

Just remembered a friend I made at work

She is always pleading poverty (but can afford holidays,pets,sweets and milkshakes for the dog,coffees out,clothes,shoes and bought herself a kitten)

Her house was a tip-its something straight out of 'how clean is your house?'

She got her 82 year old mum to clean it (and to be fair,she has sort of stayed on top of it)

Anyway,she was saying how she couldn't afford to redecorate her house and was looking for cheap ideas from her colleagues

(i guess shes never heard of google)

We'd just finished redecorating our house and had a lot of paint left over-did she want it?

She did,so we lugged it to her house-a lot of almost full tins (ranging from Wilkos own to f&b)

She then asked when I was going to 'pop round and paint her house' !

She expected me to take a fortnight off work,do all the prep,move all her furniture,babysit her pets and paint a 2 bed house by myself!

Oh,and I was to pay for the rollers,brushes and furniture covers (we decorated in an empty house so only laid a few sheets down) and she 'wanted a professional job doing'

She still has the paint-and as far as I know,it's still in the tins

I wouldn't have minded helping her-together we would have got it done but sod doing it all by myself

Did you post about that at the time? I think I remember that!

Oh ex sil stayed with him. Hes continually cheated on her through their whole relationship. Shes an absolute catch and he's a slimy ugly little toad so it mind boggles me!

I had a friend I'd known for years. She was shagging a married man that was part of our friendship group. I thought a bit less of her because of it but, whatever, her business. I moved out of the area for work, lost touch with most of the group.

Turns out my 'friend' and her beau had come up with the idea that if found out, the husband would tell his wife it was me he was shagging on the side, leaving her out the picture.
Predictably, I ended up back in the area. Ran into the husband's wife a few times and was met with daggers when I let on. I couldn't understand why. I even got a phone call from the wife (how did she get my number??) who sounded distraught and drunk, saying all kinds of awful things to me. I did not have a clue what was going on, but had worked out she knew her husband was having an affair.

It was years later when a mutual friend told me I was the decoy so they could continue shagging right under his poor wife's nose.

@HeeseChamwich - I love the sound of your friend! This is something I would do 😂

What an awful thing to do to you (and the wife). Just dreadful.

😂

I've got to say, the CF of some people is genuinely mind boggling. But I'm also a bit in awe as to how brazen some people can be 😂

😮

I was also used as an unwitting alibi in an affair.

Got friendly with an ex colleague and we'd double date with our boyfriends once or twice a month.

One Sunday morning I got an irate phone call from her husband (wtf?) as she hadn't come home Saturday night and he knew she was at my house. Nope, never been to my house. He then threatened to call the police to report me as the last person to have been with a missing person. He got increasingly aggressive so I told him I hadn't a clue, hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks, and to sort things out with her.

A couple of days later I got about 15 unhinged threatening messages from him and had to call the police as he had my address, child's name, details and said he was going to come round to see me, in that threatening way.

Turned out boyfriend was affair partner, husband was violent, they were all 'known to the police' shed been telling husband she was staying at mine when she was off shagging this other bloke. Police warned him off and advised me to drop all contact with her. Oh yeah, absolutely.

She did get in touch to apologise but I said we wouldn't be friends any more, and that was that.

To "take" some of their points onto my driving licence, as we were friends 😂
I didn't know this was even possible.

Only if you commit perjury and state you were driving

To phone all our friends and organise a coffee in the local library cafe, on a Friday morning in a week's time, because it was her 50th birthday. She'd be in the library anyway, doing her family history research, so it suited her.

1 - she has everyone's phone number and could have called them herself, and she has all their email addresses, so could have emailed them herself

2 - we all work full time and every single one of us would have had to take a day off, for a fucking coffee in our local town

I have memory issues that she was well aware of, so promptly forgot to do what she asked. I thought no more about it I'm afraid. I sent her a card and flowers for her birthday and got on with life.

She seethed for 2 months about it till finally the dam burst and she hissed at me for 2 whole hours on a phone call about all my dreadful misdeeds, and the utterly despicable misdeeds of everyone in our friendship group. She then told me I was dead to her and we haven't spoken since. She's also cut off everyone else in the group, more or less.

Ironically, she was the last of the group to turn 50 and she hadn't gone beyond a card for any of us.

Two friends of my then partner turned up at my house (just mine, my ex didn't live with me) in a taxi with a bag of alcohol and a third friend who was visiting and whom neither the ex nor I knew or had met. They were already a bit drunk but not excessively. However, they worked their way through the booze they'd brought for an hour or so and then decided to go clubbing and called a taxi. While they were waiting for the taxi to arrive, the visiting friend fell asleep. When the taxi arrived it became apparent that the visiting friend was beyond slaughtered and the driver refused to take him in case he was sick. Ex's two friends decided to go clubbing anyway and leave visiting friend 'to sleep it off'. There wasn't really a lot ex and I could do except put this guy - effectively a stranger who we'd met an hour and a half earlier - into the recovery position on my living room floor and hope that 1) he didn't choke on his own vomit, and 2) that he wasn't a mad axe murderer.

Needless to say, ex's friends were no longer welcome in my house after that.

Visiting friend was deeply mortified the following day and sent me flowers to apologise.

I was at work and husband was home off sick from work when neighbour knocked with 1yr old daughter and said that she had a doctors apt to go to and just handed her daughter to my husband. She was gone nearly two hours and apparently the child just shrieked into her coat and never moved or said a word as she didn't know my husband!! Also when she returned from 'doctors' apt she seemed to have accumulated a number of shopping bags in the process!

I tutored privately in my university days.

One particular CF was the worst. Her son would refuse to cooperate, instead choosing to roll on the floor! The mother did nothing about it, and instead blamed me.

One particular lesson, he sat rolling on the floor for half the lesson until he finally decided to cooperate. Said stupid cow mother then proceeded to ask (very confidently I must add), if she can pay for half the lesson?!!!! I told her absolutely not, and to get fucked.

She got so mad and stormed off slamming the door behind her. Stupid cow refused to pay the other half until I threatened some sort of legal action. Bloody CF!!!

To breed our de sexed aging recuse dog, as he liked our dog and would like one like that. He obviously didn't realise the dog was desexed - but who in the right mind expects someone to put their aging dog through a pregnancy (with presumably potentially multiple puppies) so that they could have one puppy.

I alter wedding gowns for part of my living. Normally brides and bridesmaids are the nicest, sweetest women I could ever wish to meet but every so often, a total diva appears and makes me seriously question my life choices.

This lass decided that she was going to wear the most enormous heels for her ceremony and photos. Fair enough, we'll alter the length to suit those.

But wait....she was changing into converse boots for the reception and dancing. Her dress MUST BE THE PERFECT LENGTH to work with those as well. A difference of 5 inches.

She thought it perfectly absolutely reasonable to have me and my sewing machine sit in a room in the hotel waiting for the moment when she'd whizz in, change her foot wear and shorten her fucking beaded and lace dress while she waited but it couldn't take more than 10 mins.

I told her that a magic wand couldn't do it in that time and even if I could, I wasn't spending my Saturday waiting till she decided it was time to change her shoes.

She went for the length that worked with her heels (for the photographs) and, as far as I know, fell over her overlong dress for the rest of the night. I did suggest she change into a wee cute white short dress for the active part of the party, but she wasn't that keen.