Eurgh! Just lost my shit!

[Monicaaa]

I feel like such a fool!
I work hybrid and last week I was disturbed by a man knocking on the front door wanting to conduct a survey about some local issue. I explained I was working and in a meeting. When I told him this he smiled and insisted it would take two minutes! Cos obviously his survey is more important! I snapped and said 'no I am working' to eye rolling from him.
He has just disturbed me again, I was concentrating on a tricky task and his 'policemans knock' broke that.
When I answered, assuming delivery or some such he greeted me with 'i came last week...'
I interrupted 'I am working I told you that, I made it clear I work'
He started to respond with 'yes but...'
And I slammed the door like a petulent teenager!
I feel so silly and now I am cross and need to calm down before I start trying to unpick this technical issue again!
I understand not everyone at home is working, I don't mind outside noise etc, or a first knock on the door, that is for me to manage but why call again?!

You are well within your rights to tell him to fuck right off and don't come back.

I hate it when chuggers and door to door sellers bang loudly on the door to make it sound urgent so you'll answer. They get an immediate NO from me every time followed by a slammed door and no further chat.(someone once made the mistake of banging on the door a second time and I ran down the hall with a broom - they could see me through the door window and took off down the road before I could get to them).

If you'd already told him once not to bother you he should have respected that and if he is too thick skinned to take a hint the first time, keep telling him you're not interested, to fuck off, leave you alone, don't ever knock on your door again, and so on forever until he gets the message. Who cares if his feelings are hurt (they won't be).

Your house, your rules.

Or, get a video doorbell so you can ignore people you don't want to talk to.

Surely he assumed that if you were working you wouldn’t answer the door? I WFH sometimes and if I’m in a meeting or doing something important, I just don’t answer the door. How is he supposed to know when you can/can’t be disturbed?

His job is just as important to him as yours is to you. Kindness costs nothing.

Thanks to everyone who gets it and for other perspectives too.

Yes I could have been polite and yes i could have not answered the door. The latter possibly being the wiser, unfortunately the downside of a very small house is my work spot has to be near the front door so once my concentration has been broken I might as well get up.

I have fixed the work problem and calmed down now. I think my irritation came from the eye rolling I got last time. I live within spitting distance of a food bank and occasionally I get people knocking who are trying to find it, i dont get cross with them btw! They can be quite stressed out, understandably and I would hate not to be able to help them, when it takes a minute to say hi and point to the door they should be going to. I totally understand why they are knocking on any door they come to!

I am sure you are right @Janedoe82 but not everyone skips thru life being perfect at every moment, some of us are human and have off days. Congratulations if you don't, you inhabit a higher plain than me

Kindness costs nothing

OP has explained what kindness in this situation has cost her though - it meant she received a second unwanted visit from the same pushy person, and because he wouldn't leave after having been told no, OP ended up feeling bad for cutting the conversation short.

It may appear unkind to shut the door on someone, but this isn't a normal situation where the resident has any other option if they want to walk away.

In a shop or on the street, you can just say 'no thanks' and walk away if you don't want to engage, but the only way to walk away from a cold caller on your doorstep who won't leave is to go back into your house and close the door. If they are refusing to leave when asked, then perhaps they should be more kind and leave when the person says no.

I got rung up by a finance company on a Saturday recently. I was out and didn’t hear the phone (mobile) so they left a voicemail. I was quite surprised they rang on a Saturday though.

OP, if sounds like he was a rude bugger hence him ringing again. If I wfh I’m usually working and have a structured day. I haven’t got a sign up but luckily I don’t get that many cold callers daily, even delivery drivers.

Don't feel bad, he was already told that you were a homeworker so he shouldn't have disturbed you again knowing this.

Feel free to calmly close the door

I WFH and had someone from an energy warehouse (or something like t hat) knock on to do a doorstep energy survey. I said im working and she did the same as yours op, was quite insistant.

This is not the type of thing i would do if i wasn't wfh as i do not believe in giving strangers in a high viz vest, information about me or who lives here etc - you would have to be mad these days

Upon her insistence, i just slowly closed the door

I wasn't mad, she's got a job to do

Pick your battles and don't be on your high hoss with that air of importance

I am sometimes rude(ish) to cold callers because I do have a very clear sign up for them not to knock/ring.

And parking survey wankers are the pits. They all want free parking outside their own small houses for their two (or three) cars, complete with tiresome stories of dramatic consequences if they don’t get their own way.

I don’t mind the actual local councillors though. It’s nice to see them.

@OutVileJelly1 ?? My high hoss (horse?) no idea what you think i do for a living? I love my job but it wouldnt give anyone an air of importance?! As a skint, sometimes too short tempered, fuck up I have never considered myself important, overly or otherwise...

@AutumnCrow wonder if he noticed at any point I don't have a car... 😂

I think you were fine and wouldn’t give it another thought. My postman clocked that I wfh and started asking me to sign for parcels for every neighbour in the street ‘so he didn’t have to return another time’. I’m not unreasonable but it meant constant interruptions from him and I would then have to find the neighbours in the evening to give them their parcels - so basically doing his job instead of him. I told him no and he’s been surly with me ever since but I couldn’t care less.

Why answer the door when you're in a meeting or taking important calls?

I WFH and answer the door because I have elderly neighbours either side of me and on one occasion they needed help.
Answering a door doesn't mean I'm available for any old shite.

OP i would've responded similarly, probably a shade politer but i'd still be irritated.

We have this sign! And it works very well. Apart from somebody wanting to sign us up for milk deliveries today 😬

@Monicaaa

when he knocked the first time, you should have told him not to come back. Just saying you're WFH wasn't enough.

I think you should get a ring door bell for your own security.

Stuff that. He can do his campaigning somewhere else - and those 'we're doing an energy survey and we're going to try and bully you into handing over your bank account details for a contract you can't pull out of because you've agreed it in your home' people can fuck right off. The more tell them to go away, the fewer will be out scamming the Disabled, Elderly and otherwise vulnerable residents because they won't make so much money out of them.

Anyone who comes to my door with a survey or anything else really, gets an I'm not interested goodbye and a shut door. Just the same as on the phone.

The last one I talked to years ago started OK and then got into personal stuff (nothing to do with the purported survey) so I shut it down, ever since I don't even let them start.

Nope! Banging on someone's door demanding their attention immediately without prior arrangement is rude. Cold calling is rude. He deserved all he got.

He deserved the slam for the 'Yes, but...'

He was not entitled to a conversation

So he shouldn't have rolled his eyes, should he?

I’m sure he’ll have had plenty worse, don’t give it any headspace.

Had the same issue and a sign made no difference, half the people ringing the bell were too stupid to see it, despite big size and positioning and very clear text, and the other half didn't give a shit and rang anyway.

Ring doorbell or one of the door cams much better because then you can just ignore.

If your concentration is that easily broken would recommend ear plugs or headphones listening to classical or soundtrack music (i.e. nothing with words).

Ring doorbell, I can sneakily look through the camera on the app checking who it is before I decide to answer the door.