Do you and DP message throughout the day?

[december2020]

A very random one but I was thinking how when DH and I were younger (pre marriage and kids) we messaged all the time throughout the day.
Now - not so much, unless there is news, coordinating schedules, kids or similar.

From my POV it's not a bad thing. I feel a lot more confident and sure in myself than I did when I was younger, where I maybe had a lot less self confidence.

But it got me thinking, am I weird. Should we be messaging throughout the day. Or is this normal.

As to not to drip feed, no issues between DH and I. Yes normal disagreements here and there but generally a very happy and supportive relationship.

Normally just a message at some point during the day and a goodnight text if either of us are away. It’s nice to let each other know that we’re thinking about one another during the day. I’d find no messages a bit offensive and too suffocating.

Yes I offload my head poor DH

What we need for shopping, what the arrangements are for kids, if I need him to do something like pharmacy run etc. - logistics.

I will message if the kids do something cute or a take a lovely photo but not every day.
Never just mushy stuff

Only text husband if I have exhausted other ways of communicating with him!! As evidence that I have tried 😩He never has his phone with him or switched off !

Not really. We send each other photos of our child.

Yes but we don’t live together. We send a good morning message, then one around lunchtime, with possible updates if one of us has something particular going on. Then probably after work, and a couple throughout the evening before saying goodnight and sending hugs at about 10pm.

He’d prefer a phone call but I hate them so we’ve fallen into texting. I do tolerate a call for something specific or if he’s feeling down and needs a friendly chat, but for me the texts help me feel connected on the days we don’t see each other.

Yes, all day. Joined at the hip usually.

I’m probably the only one sad enough to do this, but I once went back to our very first messages and as I scrolled through I could literally see the slow change in how we communicated after we had our first child 😂. It went from essays and declarations of love, to “x has just shit all up my arm” with the relevant pic attached.

We mainly talk on the phone now. Texting is for reminders.

Requests for coffee, mostly, while he’s downstairs (from me)
Asking the dates of things or if we need owt from the shop (from him)

Yes we usually ask how the others day is going, send a joke or funny video or just have a moan about something.

Yes as much as we can but I'm a sahm so guess I'm quite lonely really re adult company any chance we get we will talk ok the phone too but he does work away half the month so we do genuinely miss each other

We never used to text through the day pre-dc, I like to focus on my work through the day and didn't like to distract him at work either. We would just catch up every evening after work.
But now evenings are so hectic with small children that sometimes it's hard to keep him updated or to share comments, so I tend to pass on messages through the day although they might not be urgent. Otherwise we might not have the chance to have a proper conversation all evening. They are usually about fairly practical things, or sharing relevant news, or an anecdote about something that happened in the day.

I have no idea how people have time. No, I want to be free of all that while I'm at work.

I lost my OH in march after being with him for 15 years but we messaged every day right up to 20 mins before he very suddenly passed.

We both had discord installed on our phones and computers and would have it running in the background all day sending random things.

Lots of "oh when you have a spare min can you put the washing on" type things, links to news articles we though the other would be interested in, funny pictures, and idle chit chat. And lots of pics of our sleeping cats, along with stories of shenanigans they'd gotten up to.

There was no expectation that you needed to reply right away, it wasn't uncommon for one person to leave a string of messages ready for when the other had time to get round to it. We'd often send things even when we were in the same room rather than interrupting each other.

I'm very glad we did it as I've got a history of years of daily moments to look back through when I feel lonely.

No

We both wfh so messaging would be weird

I've just woken up on the sofa to a message from dp he sent at 2am to tell me our missing cat has just crawled into bed with him soaking wet...

Yes!!!

Used to - hundreds of messages, all day every day, an unbroken conversation.

How on earth did you get anything done?

It seems like the majority of people have similar communication styles. I do feel what me and DH do is right for us at least!

Though I do send him a funny meme or reel when I come across one.

Varies, mainly the logistics - pick up milk, home late start tea sort of things plus the odd I love you / miss you thrown in which is nice when having a bad day at work and some times funny reels at lunch time.