What's it like to not worry?

[OverthinkingOlive]

I'm the biggest worrier in the world. I worry all the time about absolutely everything. If I'm not worrying, I'm worrying about not worrying. I overthink and analyse every single thought in my head. I beat myself up every single day. It's so exhausting. It's so much worse after drinking alcohol too so I'm trying to cut back. I have terrible stomach issues, which I'm convinced would settle if I just chilled out a bit sometimes.

If you are not a worrier, how do you not worry? HOW?

I don't worry about things that are temporary, because they're temporary

78% of the things you worry about will never actually happen .

Works for me!

I have found that it takes years of practice. When a worry comes into your mind, accept it “ah there you are old friend, jog on” every single time it appears. If your worry wants attention give it a bit “Ok you have three minutes and then I’m done with you.” Do it over and over again. Practice.

I used to fret about everything.

then my DC grew up, I turned 40, and suddenly everything got easier, clearer, less intense.

it comes with time.

It could be my meds though

I absolutely live by the maxim “Don’t worry about things you can’t control”.

I mean, talk about wasted energy!

Seriously though, I’m sorry you deal with this. It must be exhausting. I find it helps to have a distinctly nihilistic view of life.

I’m in my 60s. Most of the things I’ve worried about never happened and the most awful things came completely out of nowhere. Worrying never changed a single thing, nor saved me a moment of grief or pain. Leave tomorrow’s troubles to tomorrow and live today today.

Have you read about the difference between "areas of concern" and "areas of influence"?

Basically your area of concern is all the things that bother you (off the top of my head, Palestine, Ukraine, the American election)). My areas of influence on the other hand are things like climate change (where I can do a teeny tiny bit to ameliorate it) my health (where I know I could do.more to take care of it) who leads this country (I've got a vote and I use it).

I worry about those things I can influence, and while I care deeply about those things I cannot influence, I cannot see any advantage in worrying about them, either for me or the thing I'm worrying about, so I stop worrying while. still looking for ways to influence them

I did until mid 40s then one day I woke up and thought fuck it. My quality of life is shit. What will be will be. I have some pretty shit stuff going on with uncertain outcomes. Is what it is. I can't change what will be. Live for the moment. I'm much happier with this mindset.

I quite simply can’t be arsed.

I really just cannot be fucked to get emotional about anything that won’t take the roof from over my kids head or the food I provide for them.

Absolutely nothing else matters even in the slightest or enters my mind.

It's just the normal way of being for me. I think I didn't even realise how much people worried about certain things before I read MN. I just assume things will be OK, and well, if they're not then I'll deal with it when it happens. Sometimes I have to put on a face and try to look more worried than I am, because people think I must be really uncaring or a shit parent because I'm unconcerned.

Worrying doesn't actually achieve anything. I used to do it because I thought in some obscure way that it would somehow prevent something bad from happening if I worried about it first! It doesn't, of course, it just stresses you out and makes you tired. I don't watch news AT ALL because it's pointless worrying about things you can't affect or change, like wars for instance. Worrying won't help people displaced or suffering - making a donation to Red Cross, volunteering or demonstrating etc. will.

I’m genuinely not a worrier. I’ll think through decisions logically, pros & cons, then decide and JFDI.
If I hesitate too long or flip flop around, I’ll often just say to myself ‘In 50 years who’s going to care or even remember this.. fucking nobody that’s who’ and then just get in with it.

I don't worry much, especially about things I can't control. There's absolutely nothing I can do.

My mum is the same. Don't worry until you've something to worry about...you'll need to conserve the energy for when you do.

I’m a worrier. It’s almost like a superstition - if I go to the trouble of worrying about something it’s less likely to happen than if I’ve been cavalier and dared relax.

The worst stuff I’ve experienced has come when I’ve least expected it, so if I dare drop my guard again, something bad may happen. So when life is going well, that’s when you’re most at risk of a disaster.

I don’t really ever worry. I think I was born this way, I don’t do anything. I don’t know what it’s like as I haven’t ever lived differently. I spend a lot of time planning and organising nice things in the future so maybe that helps. I still get stressed about things in the moment thought but not too much about the future. It doesn’t sound nice to constantly worry.

I quite simply can’t be arsed
That's what I was going to say too. I can't be bothered worrying. Maybe it's a form of laziness for me. I can't be bothered running through various possibilities or giving time to stuff that hasn't happened.

I'm never bored either. Unless I'm stuck in a meeting where I have to concentrate on the boring thing but if I'm free to let my mind wander I can happily pass any time just sitting and not thinking about much at all.

Wise words, very true.

Well, just got fucking fed up with everything mate and stopped worrying! Wake up, do my best at my daily tasks and whoever likes it, does, whoever does not , can go wherever ever they like.

I suffer horribly with worrying, but for me it's focused on my children. I love them so much but they were the worst thing for my mental health because now I spend all my time frightened of the future and depressed by worst case scenarios of what might happen to them

I say to myself ‘ Do something about it then”. And if I can, I do. But if cant I then have permission to let it go.

I'm trying to apply this logic to worrying!

I was a huge worrier. I would spend 90% of my day panicking about one thing or another, most of them very unlikely to ever happen. I started a low dose of sertraline and I'm a new human! I have such a better quality of life and it's so nice to have a normal brain! I also had terrible stomach issues, and now that I'm calm I don't have any problems with my tummy. I still get some anxiety after drinking alcohol but it's once in a blue moon so I can handle that x

Worries are usually about things that haven’t happened yet. No point thinking about them until they actually happen. Trust your brain to come up with a solution at that point. (There’s a theory that this is one of the functions of dreams, so no need to do it when you are awake too.)