Any 'average' Mumsnetters still lurking in the bowels of this forum?

[Armyofprawns]

I have been on MN since my ds was born 19 years ago and although it can be a vicious place at times (yes AIBU I am referring to you), in general I still love to come on here however as I find it entertaining and interesting but increasingly I am feeling like I don't belong here. More and more threads seem to be all about people's huge salaries of £100k+ which are often wfh and working just a few hours per week with talk of private education, nannies, cleaners, dog walkers, multiple luxury holidays per year, driving high-end vehicles and residing in luxury homes worth hundreds of thousands.

Can I get a shout out for those on here who live average lives like myself? GCSE educated, has a job rather than a career (never see anyone mention they work in Tesco/at the local bakers or care for a living), drives an older car, lives in a standard 3 bed semi, eats out (when they can afford it) at a Toby Carvery or Beef Eater. The people like me who know they will never earn mega bucks per year but even so, are actually quite happy with their lives as they are and am wondering if these people are no longer on MN?

And before I am slaughtered I am not meaning to be derogatory towards those who are earning well and can enjoy a luxury lifestyle in fact I am in awe that you have done so well for yourself and are reaping the fruits of your labour but I just wanted to know if there are others like me on here, you know, Ms or Mr Average?

@KievLoverTwo I had yo reply because you are the only person I've seen on here similar to us My husband isn't on a 6 figure salary, but he does well and I can't work due to being disabled but we also, shock horror... rent!! MN regular makes me feel shit for that! We are also looking to own and will also be similar ages to you once we do. I'm now 42 and dh 47 and we hope to buy in the next few years.

We're pretty average I'd say. We both grew up in ok but not wealthy backgrounds. I've got a degree but not really used it and my dh has managed to work his way up with no qualifications. We've got 4 kids. We struggled financially when our 2 oldest were young but luckily much better now thanks to my DH's job progression. I was a TA before I had to give it up. Average car, nice house but we don't own it, state schools.

I do have a cleaner 2 hours a week, but that's because of being disabled and it's a little, incredibly helpful, luxury. No other staff lol.

I like to think we are doing well (because what’s the point of worrying over something you don’t have ? Ie money 💰)

in reality we don’t have a lot money wise . Between us we earn just under 40k hubby is a bus driver, I’m a TA .

we are very lucky our debts are fairly low (about 3k between us) but this is mainly as we have an old car and no finance on it , also kids are old enough to not need childcare

having a degree means little in terms of income sometimes (hi TA here 🤣) hubby with no GCSEs triples what I bring in some months

we do own our own home , but this has come with pitfalls - we bought 17 years ago, and for a good ten years we couldn’t remortgage. We also have never been able to afford to move out of our two bed terrace, but I have made my peace with it now.

I know some people would love to be in our position, where are we always wish we had more money coming in and not always down to the last few quid every single month . (Grass is always greener and all that )

I would always take what people brag about on here with a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper. Anyone can say they earn 100k and work two hours a week while the help rears the kids it’s not like credentials are checked!

<3

10 months of therapy made me confident enough to not GIS about what other people think of me.

Judge me for renting all you like. I don’t have a crippling mortgage and £800 a month car payment towards a car that will be worth 25% of its original value in five years time.

I just don’t care about all the bells and whistles other people seem to.

Nice to make your acquaintance!

(I have M.E. and my partner has financially supported me from day 1 - he is amazing)

There's average and there's average. I'm not like many MNers who carry on with normal life when they become parents. I couldn't, I found it overwhelming and I mostly stayed at home until DS reached an easier age.

I've got a decent job but I don't drive and I'm terrified of motorways.

So there are always reasons to feel 'less than'.

Uni educated but still skint. Have 2 sen boys. Live in a semi. Havnt had a holiday abroad in 11 years
Never understood diff between career and job?

You've literally described my life 😬

It does seem to have changed over the last few years sadly. I used to find it so entertaining and in the early days of having young dc I found it a regular source of advice and encouragement but not so much these days which is sad but maybe it's reflecting society in general (hope not).

It’s so refreshing to see there are some people out there not getting hundreds of thousands of pounds per year in salaries. Some of these I too, take with a pinch of salt. I can only think they have won the lottery and/ or inherited from wealthy parents.
For most I guess it is a struggle, juggling work and family life. Looking back, as a retiree, at the bad times, I just got on with it and survived- as you do! I’m grateful to have a roof over my head, warmth, clothes and the occasional treat. The aches and pains of old age are par for the course. I’ve heard that comparison is the thief of joy, and I think that’s true!

Yes, this is what I mean. I have started threads in the past about my chronic health issues, my menopause issues and my struggle with the NHS etc. I will regularly have people tell me to seek private advice/treatment and when I say I can't as I am on a low income they will reply back with "well, its 'only' £200 per session or £1000 to see this consultant, investing in your health is very important you know".

I'm very average 😂 state educated, grew up on a council estate, now live in a small 3 bed terrace in the north, 1 car family and I have a professional job but only earn 30k a year. I'm still very happy and live comfortably, just not luxury!

Hello, minimum wage, 3 bed ex council terrace and a 10 year old Fiesta here 😂 I've only been around for about 7 years, but I have noticed it doesn't feel as fun anymore. I can't remember the last time I saw a thread that was genuinely hilarious. There used to be so many but now I feel like everything I read is fairly depressing to be honest. And yes, lots of high salaried people who are oh so penniless because living in London is hard don't you know. Its tiresome.

I'm poor as fuck and I'm still here.

I used to work in a care home, people assume it is easy. Wrong. Care staff have the responsibility of administering medication and all that entails and if anything goes wrong you are the one up in court.
Add to that staffing issues, business owners that are only in it for profits..awful pay for the staff. No wonder not many want to admit to being a care worker.

After care home I worked as HCA in local NHS hospital, which i enjoyed a lot more in many ways, was very busy but I did not have to administer patients medicines, that was RGN only. They asked me if i had thought about a university degree to become a nurse, but i am just not academic enough.

I have accepted my limitations, I no longer drive and rent a small, modest house.
I work in a shop these days and I am happy having the least amount of responsibility. I enjoy life, as long as I have access to a swimming pool, can enjoy a few days away sometimes or going out for dinner every so often. I am content.

I am an average person but with a good salary. 3 bed semi, 13 year old car, no fancy holidays, prefer a carvery pub to a posh restaurant.

The spare money goes to savings for your disabled dcs futures.

I'm here and I'm pretty average! I went to uni and I have a decent job but nowhere near six figures and I'm a single mother living in London so my lifestyle is secure but fairly basic. No complaints, but I do often feel a pang of envy at some of the lifestyles described on here, imaginary or not.

I think being content is the true key to happiness. As I am becoming older all I am aiming for is contentment.

And imo the pay for care work should be so much higher, we may not have degrees etc but as you say, it is bloody hard work.

Me too, I try not to but the thought of living that kind of life, even for a short moment is quite appealing.

Mrs Average here too. No career 3 bed semi
DH and 2 DC living at home
10 year old car which is the newest one we have. DH has his mums old car
We have a holiday maybe ever other year

I think a lot of it is made up like on the fashion forum and someone asks can you help me find a dress etc, and loads say oh try this £700 one ive got it in all three colours. Yea it makes me laugh.

As a pp said we are all ourselves.
DH,2DCs & me. Mostly in semidetached houses on estates. DH not a grad but I am. One DC is a grad t'other is not. No private education. A few years of hardship. Help from parents, luckily. But all bleak and tough for 2 years after not keeping up with mortgage. Gradually salary improved. Buy 3 years old car and keep for 8 years and repeat.
We were lifted by inheritances, Childless Aunts and parents with lucky purchases on their homes years ago.
I am also a widow. Did not want another man, I would have felt unfaithful. I now have very close relationship with a woman so not so lonely.

I don't think everyone is earning a lot here, but I think the demographics of MN has changed as we age, i.e. much higher average age than before.

I've been on MN for years and am distinctly average.

Married with 1 DC & DDog. Live in a 3 bed house, DH's car is a creaking ancient thing, mine is 6 years old. UK holidays (camping mostly, but ocassionally we go in a static caravan) 90% of our stuff is 2nd hand (including the dog).

We earn just above average, but we don't want for much. I like my average life. It's comfortable.

🙋🏼‍♀️ Hi, Mrs Average here :)

• didn’t go to Uni (neither did hubby)
• live in a mortgaged 3 bed semi
• we both earn £30kpa for 34-35hours per week (although I do wfh). we have two young children so this is perfect for me.
• car is 3.5years old (but was bought second hand so is technically 5/6years old)
• no cleaners (god I would love one 😂)

The only difference is we do have multiple holidays a year, but that is because I refuse to work full time with no “reward” and I’m more than happy to cut back or work overtime for those holidays.

I also feel I read lots of posts about £100+k salaries and private school ect …..but I do take everything with a pinch of salt as maybe people say they earn more than they do??

I think it's worth bearing in mind how much abject bollocks there is now on MN compared to the early days. By that I mean, bots, fantasists, influencers, people trying out AI etc. And I hypothesise the bots are programmed that we are all rich mumsies, average £150k, private school etc. so they post like that. Certainly I have never ever in my life come across the kind of spenders who seem to hang out on S&B. Of course not- they are influencers paid to post lifestyles where one buys a £700 dress etc.
It's capitalism innit. Bit shouty too.

I was having this conversation with friends yesterday. All university educated, all born early 1960s so our parents were brought up during and after the war. We are all content, not on megabucks, basic cars, no foreign holidays, but can buy books, have coffee out, or occasional lunch or supper.