Any 'average' Mumsnetters still lurking in the bowels of this forum?

[Armyofprawns]

I have been on MN since my ds was born 19 years ago and although it can be a vicious place at times (yes AIBU I am referring to you), in general I still love to come on here however as I find it entertaining and interesting but increasingly I am feeling like I don't belong here. More and more threads seem to be all about people's huge salaries of £100k+ which are often wfh and working just a few hours per week with talk of private education, nannies, cleaners, dog walkers, multiple luxury holidays per year, driving high-end vehicles and residing in luxury homes worth hundreds of thousands.

Can I get a shout out for those on here who live average lives like myself? GCSE educated, has a job rather than a career (never see anyone mention they work in Tesco/at the local bakers or care for a living), drives an older car, lives in a standard 3 bed semi, eats out (when they can afford it) at a Toby Carvery or Beef Eater. The people like me who know they will never earn mega bucks per year but even so, are actually quite happy with their lives as they are and am wondering if these people are no longer on MN?

And before I am slaughtered I am not meaning to be derogatory towards those who are earning well and can enjoy a luxury lifestyle in fact I am in awe that you have done so well for yourself and are reaping the fruits of your labour but I just wanted to know if there are others like me on here, you know, Ms or Mr Average?

You have made me feel less alone on here now, thank you.

I am really quite average, I work as a PA for a disabled client, I hated school so didn't do too well with exams and studies and have just bumped along in life going from one 'job' to another. At 51 I now also help care for my mum who suffers from Alzheimer's. I can't help but look at those posts where people are all discussing their large salaries and interesting careers and think to myself that I have been a fool to have not taken all of this more seriously but then again, most of my friends are average too so I have never had the drive to push myself further but hey-ho it is what it is.

Another one here, actually less than average income. Live in a council house. Would love a forum that wasn't full of the wealthy, so totally get what you mean.

@Armyofprawns i look at those posts with the £10000k salary etc etc and just think they are bragging most of the time. Don't have much but I'm happy with what I do have

Yep, i think im pretty average. Joined 19yrs ago when i had my first DS, now have 2, 18 and 17 - both didnt do well, eldest DS had a few problems, but they are both now at college, doing trades.

Been married 25years this December, lived in the same house for 20years I work mainly from home and consider myself to be extremely lucky to earn 46k for it and im very happy with my job. DH was recently promoted and earns 95K, but works very very long and hard hours. Same car for 10yrs, while our neighbours seem to upgrade every few years.

We may have more holidays than most, but then we save hard for it and sacrifice other parts of our lives.

But no cleaners, uni fees, fancy cars etc.

We're very much average - own a small terrace in a fairly rundown, northern town. We're both self-employed but neither of us earn megabucks, nor do we want to. No interest in the kind of holidays MN seem to love where you pay 5k for a week in the sun, either.

No DC though and nor do we have any interest in them. Some of the ways people describe their lives on here are totally alien to me.

Me! Never worked anything that wasn’t back breaking and underpaid. Never felt “pride” for working those jobs. No encouragement from family to get an education as we didn’t know anyone else that had one.

Yes I'm still here. I think I've been clattering around the place for about 15 years or so now. There don't seem to be so many threads larking about having a giggle at life's absurdities these days though.

It's all a bit too sneery and confrontational, as in "Is this the right place to come for an argument?" and that takes the fun out of it a bit.

Im nowhere near MN standards.
I live in a council flat on a housing estate that i love rent below £400.
Childfree/less and single.
I work a job that pays the bills and my holidays.
I dont have a car as im not allowed to drive.
I suffer with alsorts of migraines /anxiety plus loads more.
Never owned a credit card never had a lone.
I have no debt at all.
I live simple and cheap.
Dont care for brand names either.

Sorry OP, this isn't your question but I have to ask... where are all these 'wealthy' people'?
90% of threads are about the cost of living crisis, people in abusive relationships, how bad private school is.
Whenever there's anything about 100K+ salaries the posters always get shot down.

I'll be honest I'm one of those 'professional' people (I don't earn 100K though fair from it) and I don't see many others here. Are you just getting this impression from the sort of threads you click on?

I'm sure there are! I don't see threads where MNers all sound rich. But there are quite a lot who don't seem 'average' in their opinions! People seem overly defensive/offensive, not only in AIBU.
Sorry if that's a derail. I just think it's the Internet which encourages the extremes! The extremes are just that though: not real life! I bet also that there will be more lurkers than posters who are average iyswim.

I've been here since 2009 and remember your username. I'm in the same position re the WFA, but if you think people on here have been nasty about it, for God's sake don't look at Reddit, the vicious hatred for pensioners on there is heartbreaking.
There was a thread not that long ago entitled 'What I hate about old people'

I'll miss the help with fuel bills of course, but I've never had much so I'm used to living frugally.

In response to the OP - I'm pretty average and can't imagine a £100k salary ever!

I'm below GCSE educated . I don't have an education at all to be honest. I don't work . Live in a council house. Never been on holiday as an adult. No car Single parent.
I don't feel i belong here but I stay anyway.

When I see comments like get therapy, just move , just get a better job. I feel like we are on totally different planets my reality is not their reality.

I'm an original too. You are bumping against the entitled insta generation - not all are like this but so many more younger generation are. If you have ever recruited it's very very obvious!

But that's not core MN demographic surely?

Me, joined Mumsnet about the same time as you. 3 bed terrace house I earn a bit over minimum wage. Our joint income is about 50k. Car is 13 years old, only have very minimal savings.

Yep, madam average here and content AF. Public sector wages, nice cheap house, can afford holidays, family nearby.
I just like reading how the other half live 😁.
I didn't know what a red brick uni, magic circle, big 4, day schools etc were til I started reading about it here.

The whole of the internet has become like that though.

There isn’t a single group I am in where it doesn’t regularly kick off.

The internet does a lot of good but I think it also adds undue pressure to life and I don’t think a constant stream of horrible news is good for anyone. I think a lot of people suffer from information overload stress.

And it’s a great deal easier to have a pop at an internet stranger than someone in the same house of you.

I see it as a sign that something’s going wrong in society. I think we have to learn to discipline ourselves to take a lot of time stepping back from smart devices that are mainly a stream of bad news, showing off and disasters that we wouldn’t previously have instantly heard about.

Unfortunately we are in the age of Instagram where no one must be seen to be shitting out. Everything is fabulous and amazing. A lot of it is papering over cracks and blatant bullshit

A 14-20 y/o in 2010 (when insta started) would be 28-34 now. Insta-generation tends to be a shorthand for millennials, i.e. born c.1980-1996, who would be 28-44 now, i.e. peak child having age, so are probably more likely to be on MN (making rhe reasonable assumption that the 'core demographic' of a parenting forum is mothers with child-age children, although of course I know many many posters are either childfree or have adult children) than pretty much any other generation.

Maybe the tiktok generation aren't quite here yet but they aren't far off.

The one thing that's common across all incomes and demographics on MN is the bizarre inability by so many posters to believe in the existence of lifestyles other than their own. There are as many 'Surely hardly anyone really has 6 months savings,' and 'I don't know anyone who earns more than £30k' as there are 'Everyone in my circle has at least 1 holiday abroad a year, surely that's the minimum' '£100k isn't enough to live on in London ' and 'Leave the kids at home and go on a spa weekend,' -ers. It's amazing how many people live in an echo-chamber and honestly believe their personal experience, and that of their family and friends is extrapolated out to the rest of the population - so if they don't know anyone who earns less than £26k/more than £100k that means nobody (or only a tiny proportion) of people doing so exist. Forget objective statistics, my family and friends = everyone, or at least 'the majority.'

I'm here. Joined in 2010. I'm definitely below average. Single, menopausal mum on UC, living in a council house. No car.

I am probably an outlier. OH has a six figure salary but we met late in life and I cannot work due to ill health. We don’t actually own anything but are saving desperately for a house. When we buy we will likely be 43 and 50. And it will be with a 10-20% deposit.

Both grew up poor.

Before we were together I remember living on £1 a day and life was terrifying. But back then the supermarket mark downs were actually good. I had a look last night and the out of date stuff was only marked down by 20%. Idk wft the supermarkets are doing or how people are coping on budgets when literally nothing is cheap anymore.

I will never forget what £1 a day feels like so when I see people say things like “an extra £12 a month isn’t going to make a difference” I get hopping mad and have to stop myself from interjecting that this could be the difference between some vegetables or no vegetables for some families.

We will never own flash things or go flash places or give into designer home trends or have a flash car. We’re just not remotely interested in any of that.

All we really care about is eventually buying a home that won’t worsen my disability and not scraping around for money when we get to retirement.

I still check four supermarkets before shopping and use Quidco even if it’ll only earn me 30p. For me, not having two brass farthings to rub together means my past frugal behaviour is exceptionally hard to switch off. Plus I generally don’t like chucking a bunch of money away where it just isn’t deserved. I did an Ocado order recently and was horrified at the portion sizes that arrived. “No bloody way I am giving them 40% more money than Sainsbury’s so we are just going to have to force ourselves to go there once a week because we are just chucking money at them, and M&S’s food is no better quality these days.”

Okay, maybe that’s not the best of illustrations, but I still have a very keen idea of what things SHOULD cost but won’t be taken for a mug by anyone. Even if it is affordable. If one supermarket has super noodles at £1.40 (you can take the girl out of the council estate….) I just won’t buy them, I will wait til I am next in Lidl and pay 80p.

It would have been nice to be on MN back in the day, but sadly I only found it about a year ago.

Yes me... average! Been through many name changes but been here 12 years ish...

Hello@Armyofprawns - I'm a long-time Mumsnetter from waaay back I've been on and off here for over 20 years I think, under various names. I think 'average' means NOT instantly identifiable as Middle Class since several generations.😁

I'm originally from a poor immigrant Northern background, went to Uni when it was free, never earned beyond £19K, then became a SAHM to two amazing kids, the younger is autistic and still at home, the older one has a fabulously successful career abroad earning serious money.

In contrast and stark juxtaposition, as soon as my DC started earning, my DH was made redundant, and has been unemployed for well over a year after never being without work since age 20. We're now hugely in debt, but we own a nice but non-posh 3-bed (mortgaged) semi which has slightly too-small bedrooms, and we used to go on nice holidays (UK and beyond) every year.

I think MN has always appeared to be skewed a bit to seeming Middle Class in certain areas - but I think the common ground of caring for SEND kids or elderly parents, experiencing life on UC, or being in dire situations can be a great leveller. I get the feeling that AIBU is where most one-upmanship happens.

Me! Very ordinary, live pay day to pay day, I don't put the boot into people on here and just try to live my life! Xxx

Average here. Education aside, never been abroad with kids, all our cars have been second hand.

Our house is held together with blue tack and sellotape. 😬

We live in London but pretty much live pay check to pay check.