41% of parents caring for disabled children have contemplated suicide.

[Catslanding]

www.birmingham.ac.uk/news/2024/more-than-40-of-parents-with-disabled-children-have-thought-about-suicide-study

I found this by googling pretty much the exact same thing. I'm having a bad day. The only thing that keeps me here is her, my beautiful disabled daughter.

Have any other parent carers ever felt this way? It's the most isolating job. I've ended up pretty much completely alone due to my own health suffering as the years drifted by in a blur, me giving more than I have, one emergency after another. I often care for 16 hours a day, some even more than that. I have no energy left for anything. Leaving the house is physically and mentally difficult, there's no such thing as jumping in the car.

I feel like we live in a goldfish bowl, I can see out but nobody sees in. I watch everyone else living whilst I do the same routines all day, every day, if I'm lucky, some days I'm too ill to do them.

I love my child so much, please don't read this and think she is in any way responsible, she's not. She's wonderful and I'm so glad she's here. I'm also very aware of being unable to voice these feelings in real life because I know people who have lost children. They would give anything to feel like I do right now. The guilt of that compounds the feelings I already have.

Even writing this scares the shit out of me because if she dies tonight I'll regret this post forever. I feel like I'm not allowed to feel how I feel. It's impossible.

I try so hard to be a good mum but I'm shell shocked from the trauma I've experienced as a 'medical mum' (hate that term, don't know how else to describe it) One thing after another after another. It's brutal. There's no time to process any of it. I used to write but now I can barely form a sentence. I feel so fucking stuck. I'm a robot.

I don't even have the option of suicide because she needs me too much. I know her inside out, I keep her alive. But it doesn't stop me thinking about it.

I can't be alone in these feelings?

If you know any parent carers or carers in general, check in on them. This life is not for the weak.

https://me-llwindsor.tickets.legoland.co.uk/packageList/promocode/prebookrap?l=en-gb

This is the availability at the mo for Feb for a group of four people in Feb for red RAP. I don't know of they'll release more.

There is a really good Facebook group called Merlin Annual Passholders Additional Needs Discussion Group which may be worth joining. They have loads of info and tips.

Wow, @Perzival - we got our access card agreed already! Very impressed with Nimbus.

How’s everyone getting on? I hope everyone’s managing to stay sane.

My ds wad taken out by his carers (hes 2:1 support)the weekend before last. They took him to a trampoline park, threw foam blocks at his head and left him face down in the foam block pool next to the beam where the kids hit each other with sticks (like on gladiators). They walked off leaving him like that. A woman thought he was unconscious and panicked so staff snd other members of the public pulled him out. They've been sacked and the lado are involved.

So pretty crap really.

Sorry, I'm still really angry and not quite processed it all.

@Perzival oh no! that is horrendous. Honestly it breaks your heart to think people can treat vulnerable people this way . Even worse when it is carers. I hope they are prosecuted frankly . Also it is hard enough to.trust people with our children at the best of times so that makes it even worse. .
I am so sorry you and your boy have had such a horrific experience.. Sending a handhold and best wishes.x

You’re not alone. It’s so f*cling draining and soul destroying. Career down the drain, everything I’d worked for, not able to go back as I’ve taken so much time out so fogotten too much. Friendships fallen away. I’m surprised the figure isn’t higher - guess lots of people are lying to themselves to keep going on. I’ve been on antidepressants for years!

I’m so sorry @Perzival that’s truly awful. Sending you both love and strength.

Feeling rubbish this week. UC credit won’t accept that my DS has been awarded DLA so got an appointment next week to sort that. DH has got a really great work trip next week which is great for him but just reminds me that I’m sat here day after day doing nothing but caring for the kids. No job, no friends, family offer very help or support. I’m 40 soon and didn’t think my life would look like this.

@Jumbocoffeemorning
I am sorry! it is v hard when you have no real support.
I wish we could emulate your user name and all get together to drink tea and eat cake.
Sometimes just a rant and a moan is enough to release the pressure x

@Perzival, I’m so sorry that’s really and truly awful. We did a year in mainstream and one therapist reported back that they were ignoring my dc and dc was being locked outside with 1:1 when lessons were happening. It is devastating because you should be able to trust people to look after your child. I really hope they’re punished as this is vile.

@Jumbocoffeemorning, when my DH goes off to work I’m so resentful. I work from home and am just about hanging onto work by the skin of my teeth but it’s exhausting as I do all the caring as well. No friends. Our only support is my parents who are nearly 80. Well done on securing DLA.

A rant and a moan definitely eases some of the pressure. Life just feels never endingly tough.