Ideas to have more fun in life.

[sunshinechaser]

I've been feeling over the last few years that I'm maybe not as happy as I used to be. I've got a great life-love my DH and family, like my job and I love where I stay. However I've had a nagging feeling that there's something missing as I mindlessly go through the mechanics of everyday busy family life and somehow want 'something' to change to make me feel happier.
Anyway I listened to a podcast today that really resonated with me. It talked about happiness being categorised into hedonic happiness and eudaimonic happiness.
Hedonic happiness is having fun, concentrating only on yourself and maximising pleasure. Eudaimonic happiness is a deeper well being associated with a sense of purpose in life.
So I'm fine for the eudaimonic side of things but I've just realised I never really prioritise time for pure hedonic pastimes to increase happiness.
I don't actually know how to do this. I walk the dog, I exercise, I spend time with friends and these are all great but is there more I could do to bring happiness?
What do you do to make yourself happy? I'm not creative at all so wouldn't like anything arty.
If anyone is interested the podcast episode is the Mel Robbins podcast 'The secret to a happy life: What the ultimate study on happiness revels'

I'm not sure where I am on the two types of happiness, but I thought I'd tell you what my DH and I did for my birthday this week which was definitely hedonistic and might give you a fun day out.

We cycled 15 miles (optional) to a well known seaside town, took all our pennies with us and had fish n chips then played on the arcades for 2 hours. Shoot'em'ups, 2p machines, basketball nonsense you name it. Then we got an ice cream. It was silly and fun and a great birthday. You could even do it in a bigger group if you wanted.

That sounds silly and fun and fabulous @GingerLiberalFeminist!

That sounds like an interesting podcast, I’ll give it a listen. In terms of hedonic pleasure, maybe dancing to music you love? Perhaps going to a gig, festival or maybe one of those “day fever” club sessions. Or live comedy? Or perhaps trying a physical activity you’ve not done before with friends or family? Something to get the adrenaline pumping like whitewater rafting, abseiling or even trampolining?

Going to gigs/concert/the theatre depending on what you are into. Any sort of live performance gives me a buzz!

High ropes course for a dose of adrenalin.

Day at a water park?

Travel - either around the UK or abroad. I love that feeling you get when you look round somewhere totally new with amazing scenery.

Have more interesting sex

Thanks. I should point out I'm 43 🤣

Well, what gives you transporting physical/sensual pleasure? I love opera and classical music, sea swimming, being out in nature, art, film, reading, being by the sea. Friends get their kicks from extreme sports, cycling, mountain climbing, clubbing, travel, singing, kink scenes, painting, sailing etc etc.

Thanks all. Great ideas.
I love travel but over the years I've slipped into going to the same places again and again as it's easier with a young family. Now my DS is 14 I'll start thinking about more exciting, different holidays to places we've never been before.
I do feel I've kind of lost myself over the years so I really need to make an effort to connect with friends and schedule time to do fun things to try and get a sense of myself back.

Music - I read newspaper album reviews and listen to anything that sounds interesting. I try to see some live music at least once a month.

Singing - I'm in a choir and it's so good for the soul. Also singing along in the car, so weirdly joyous.

Dancing - aforementioned gigs and also clubs and also kitchen discos. So fun.

Festivals.

Holidays.

Restaurants.

Being in the sea.

Swimming & yoga.

Walking in the woods.

Snogging, sex, shopping!

Ok I hadn't considered sex at all!

@Bestthot 😂 what?

Comedy shows can be good for this. We try and go to several a year.

Trying out new activities? When I was well DH and I tried things like zip wires, kayaking, double standup paddle boards, axe throwing.... Always end up laughing a lot

Ps it's a great idea for a thread, it's easy to lose sight of this kind of activity as an adult

I’m going to listen to that podcast because I’m experiencing a flatness to my emotions, and it can all feel a bit samey sometimes.
Something I was thinking of doing is setting a day aside once or twice a month to do something that I’m curious about, or that I enjoyed doing as a child or teenager. Sort of like a mini/non-ambitious bucket list. Some things will cost money, and some won’t, but some of the things I want to do are;
Sit around a campfire with friends and toast marshmallows
Go wine tasting
Go to a circus if there’s one in town
Go to a funfair if there’s one in town
Next time I’m at the seaside, swim in the sea
Go on an organised dog walk for charity (I’ve noticed they do these at a rescue centre near me)
Go climbing
Use the facilities in a nice hotel near me, just for two hours (swim, sauna)
Have a dog walk in a different area then have a cider in a pub that I’ve never been into before
Camp in a tent
Picnic in park with friends on a checked blanket

Ive been writing down all the things like this that I want to do, and am determined to do them! Just to mix it up a little and see how it makes me feel.

Lovely food, eating treats or junk food, or getting a beautiful meal cooked in a restaurant.
Having a special drink for no reason - a cocktail or mocktail. Bonus points if it's in a nice bar with fancy decor.
Going to the cinema / theatre / ballet / concerts.
Spending time in beautiful gardens or stately homes, art galleries, churches, or other lovely surroundings. Really focus on the sensory aspects of the space and soak it up.
Browsing in bookshops or other shops you find pleasing, maybe shopping for clothes or jewellery or housewares or stationary or something to do with a hobby you enjoy. Having money to buy is lovely but sometimes just looking is a treat!
Finding excuses to dress up and wear nice clothes. Or not needing an excuse - just wearing your favourite things for no reason.
Sex or Solo sex.
Long baths with delicious scented products.
Sensual self care, for instance a pedicure with products you enjoy. Or pay for this if you have the cash.
I love my own company and like to treat myself for instance by going for a walk somewhere pretty and having a picnic there, with things I love to eat, and reading a book. For me that feels quite hedonistic and indulgent to deliberately treat myself to a few hours of peace and pleasure.
I think anything you enjoy can be deeply pleasurable if you commit to it and do it mindfully - I hate the overuse of that word but to me it is important to be deliberate about the act and to really allow yourself time to experience it and feel the luxury / beauty / joy of it.

@Bohomovies it's a really great podcast episode. I would recommend it. I've listened to it twice already and I tear up at the end. I won't spoil it by saying why.
The scheduling time for fun is a great idea and I wonder if you've read this book? This is his exact advice! I would recommend this book too if you haven't already read it.

I think my suggestions are more about enjoyment than specifically fun, but I'm not really a person who enjoys many activities which are thought of as 'fun' - parties and so on. I am however a person who is lucky enough to get a great deal of happiness and joy from life.

I was planning on starting a similar thread myself, before coming across this one.

Both of my children will be in university this month, and there will just be myself and my husband in the house. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I work hard, and so at night I’m usually shattered and end up going to bed far too early. At weekends, I’m lazy and just lounge around wasting my time on my phone. I don’t even tend to watch tv or films, just old reruns of things I’ve seen before that’s easy on my brain.

If I read someone else describing my life, I’d think they were depressed. I’m not, I’m very happy, I just don’t really know what to do and have low motivation.

so I’d considered writing a post about getting a hobby. Having something to do on an evening. DH always has things to keep him busy, playing in his garage and going to the gym. But I’ll just waste time if given the opportunity, and I feel I’m just wasting my evenings. I’m a teacher, and I seem to wait for the weekend to do anything as I hibernate as soon as I come in from school. And then on top of that, I’m always counting down til the school holidays, and I’m just wasting my time.

@sunshinechaser I’ve never read that book, but it’s on my reserve list on Borrow Box! I’m looking forward to it becoming available now!

On a small scale , eat better. Buy the nice coffee for home . Get a nice bottle of wine.

Use the good China, wear your nice clothes. Get more dressed up.

@AllstarFacilier I feel exactly the same as you. I hate myself for wasting time scrolling on my phone!
Today I went for a dog walk in the sunshine and tried to be present and listen to the birds and look at the trees etc.
When I came home I did a Les Mills online stretch class and then a Les Mills guided meditation video. I've never meditated before.
I feel good today! These are not exactly earth shattering, exciting fun things but it felt good to concentrate on only me for once.

@WhyDoBIrdsSuddenly these are brilliant suggestions and exactly what I was looking for. I'm taking lots of notes!
Thanks

@WhyDoBIrdsSuddenly love your solo picnic idea. I did this on a hot evening a few weeks ago. I picked up some snacky bits from Markies and packed a big blanket and also one of those cool bottles and filled it with some Prosecco. Lay out for a couple of hours, the park was so quiet and it was just really peaceful and nice to be surrounded by nature. Makes me want to plan another one!

That sounds amazing @Mirren22