Ideas to have more fun in life.

[sunshinechaser]

I've been feeling over the last few years that I'm maybe not as happy as I used to be. I've got a great life-love my DH and family, like my job and I love where I stay. However I've had a nagging feeling that there's something missing as I mindlessly go through the mechanics of everyday busy family life and somehow want 'something' to change to make me feel happier.
Anyway I listened to a podcast today that really resonated with me. It talked about happiness being categorised into hedonic happiness and eudaimonic happiness.
Hedonic happiness is having fun, concentrating only on yourself and maximising pleasure. Eudaimonic happiness is a deeper well being associated with a sense of purpose in life.
So I'm fine for the eudaimonic side of things but I've just realised I never really prioritise time for pure hedonic pastimes to increase happiness.
I don't actually know how to do this. I walk the dog, I exercise, I spend time with friends and these are all great but is there more I could do to bring happiness?
What do you do to make yourself happy? I'm not creative at all so wouldn't like anything arty.
If anyone is interested the podcast episode is the Mel Robbins podcast 'The secret to a happy life: What the ultimate study on happiness revels'

My New Years resolution for the past how many years has been to 'have more Fun'.

Granted, as a slightly anxious menopausal woman who works in a job I dislike and has a disabled child and an older chronically ill DH 'having more fun' can be relative.

I am incrementally increasing my fun. I go to the cinemal more often. I stop out of my day a bit for afternoon tea and I have started up a separate savings account for holidays and days out- granted with my children- but I still like it.

I think the main stumbling block- for me anyway- is that I think my 'free time' should be spent making the loved ones in my life's life better and more enriching and so I either forget about me, or feel guilty about remembering me. That is what I need to work on.

Highly recommend it, here's hoping for a warm September. Bonus was no cooking dinner either as had picked away at prawns, olives, bread, cheese and salami delicious!

@WheresMySupportCat I’m in a similar situation to you and also incrementally increasing the fun.

Mostly more time outside and I’m afraid I’ve started going down the slides and onto the swings with my kids when the park’s not too busy 🙈. We do a lot of days out with something for me and then something for the kids since DH is tired etc. Tuning into their joy has given me a lot of additional joy.

Am loving the ideas here but just wondering where I’d get the childcare, someone to go with etc. Actually putting the infrastructure in to have fun times is hard work and tricky when noone’s needs are fully met at the moment.

It’s a tricky question because we’re all different. Some people love being busy and surrounded by people. For me, those happy moments are about the simple things. Things that currently make me happy:

go to the gym on a Saturday morning, then walk to a nearby coffee shop and drink a coffee with a good book before heading back home.

started learning an instrument, mastering a new song every week is really giving me a buzz

listening to a couple of really good podcasts while driving or walking (I like a bit of politics, a bit of health type, a bit of comedy)

cooking a really lovely meal for my family and seeing how much they enjoy it

cuddling with my cat

singing and or dancing to my favourite playlist

Also a way to do mini-increase of joy is to really watch the programme on the telly. So not just casually watching while you flick through Mumsnet, but phone down. Laugh if it's funny (may be push yourself to laugh out loud if you wouldn't normally), gasp at the drama, applaud when the cakes are revealed on Bake Off etc etc.

The joy of silly programmes like TaskMaster or Gladiators is not to be underestimated.

Do your local Park Run every Saturday.
If you are fit enough, have a go at a Tough Mudda run.
Try one of those Colour Runs, where coloured dyes are thrown at you as you go by. They aren't usually very long.
Go ice skating.
Set a target sum of how much you want to raise for a particular charity over the course of a year, and set about doing it.
Join your local WI, and enjoy the activities.
Try and learn to make one new recipe every week.
Try indoor skydiving.
Many National Trust properties do music/jazz on the lawn throughout the summer. Lovely to just take a deckchair and a picnic, whilst listening to the music. I know my local NT place was doing it today, not sure if it was the last one for the season or if it carries on throughout September.
Go on one of the National Trust Christmas light trails.
Go pottery painting.

Would you consider learning a new language? I started French last year and even thought my progress is slower than I expected I have kept it up as it is a nice distraction, nice conversation with tutor and after the hour class is up I feel like I've achieved something so some feel good hormones too

Some smaller 'me time' things that I do:
Ocasional treatment like massage, pedicure or facial.
Longer than usual dog walk somewhere different from usual.
Make a 'watch' list on Iplayer or netflix and work through it.
Take a day in a city or town and just mooch alone.
Gym.
Book Club.
Live music or theatre.

@Mirren22 yes I think I would like to learn Spanish but I wonder if it would turn into yet another thing to do rather than a treat.

Live music has been proven to increase happiness, so I’d start there! And live comedy, although the Netflix comedy specials are also great for a laugh if you can’t get out easily.

I went daytime clubbing last month and was buzzing for days! I'm 68 😀 Already have the next one booked.
Besides that I never refuse an invitation - lots of lunches and theatre trips etc Just booked a Christmas time stay in York with friends and a last minute trip to Spain. Grab life @sunshinechaser

Great @Oblahdeeoblahdoe!
Part of the podcast talked about making deeper connections with friends and this can lead to happiness too. I think I need to work on this. I'm quite introverted and although I am fairly social I need to try harder. I would love to go to a daytime disco but probably don't have enough friends to ask to go somewhere like that!

You only need one! 😀
Sounds like you're heading in the right direction with a good attitude so do what you can and build up.

Tell jokes and funny stories to.people and ask them to do the same.e. Nothing better than.laughter and light talk.

I'm in awe of all the positive plans. I need a good kick up the bum to do more things for myself. A while ago did start taking a extra half an hour to myself, to watch TV or just lie on the bed. But I know I need to do more. Kids growing up but still early teens so have to have a balance as they do need me to be there (asd and MH). So will be taking all suggestions on board. Tho sex has been long gone so would probably put my back out or not know what to do ha

Gosh OP, I've just written a post identical to this. I too, am also in a happy relationship but still feel I'm missing that excitement in life and I'm not as truly happy as I let on.

One of my friends was 70 this year and is doing 70 new things - she’s inspiring.
This summer we put up a badminton net and played doubles with friends and fam. G&Ts for the onlookers. Was surprising fun and we all loved it (and not at all sporty).

If you have close friends or family who live far away take turns to host weekends and research different things to do locally. It’s motivating when you're planning it for others but you end up having a great time too, eg theatre, music, coastpath walks, sea swim, pitch and put, picnics, outdoor games like rounders, long jump, murder mysteries, singing together, firepit, beach bbq, breakfast in cafe and early morning walk, sunrises, sunsets.

I’ve also started swapping ideas for books, tv series, films with friends as we tend to scroll through and waste time but we’ve never heard of half the things so don’t know what to choose. Now discovered some gems.

Second joining a choir - so joyous and we’re always on a high afterwards. Great thread idea OP. Good luck with finding the pleasureable times for yourself.

We need to remember to play. The simple pleasures, like a game of cards, a game of ping pong, trying new combinations from your existing wardrobe, a red pair of shoes, some play dough, wave jumping, a swim after work, just being curious and care free.
I’ll look for that podcast :)

@BuddhaAtSea that's so true! Playing is amazing. One of the most joyous times I've ever had was when we went to the Siam Park waterpark in Tenerife. I felt like a kid again-screaming and laughing. It was so freeing and lifted my mood for weeks afterwards.

@whatnowocantfigureout I would def recommend that podcast. I would almost go as far as to say it is life changing!

Do something you have never done before?

In the past year I have tried:

Zentangle

Genki

Flotation

Will depend what you have available locally of course, but you might find something that you love!

@Itabsolutelyispossible thanks. I have no idea what the first two things are but I will Google!

See all this sounds really lovely to me. But then I realise I live in the middle of nowhere and even the nearest park run is an hour away 🙄

Damn farm life.

I've been feeling like this for last couple years.

I started an OU degree because I'd never had the opportunity when I was younger (had children young). This has helped a lot with having to focus and be accountable and I enjoy learning.

I went on holiday at end of summer with my youngest. It was lovely weather and we didn't do much except go to the beach, a few walks and did some crabbing. Met up with family who were close by and I haven't seen for a while. It was the first time in a long time my mind felt 'silent' and I was just content. I sat out each morning with a coffee and a kindle and first the first time I kind of really felt the impact of having almost grown children. It was lovely as my eldest is 26 and my youngest is 15 so I've been parenting for a long time, 11 years of it singly.

I think this is an age when perimenopause kicks in and for many of us we have grown or almost grown children so we can finally refocus on our own wants and needs.

@Tumbleweed101 good for you doing an OU degree. I wonder if this falls under the eudaimonic type of happiness. Making your love feel more worthwhile rather than the hedonic type of happiness. Regardless-it's a great idea.
And I agree this is a perimenopause or a 'stage in mid-life' feeling. I certainly have a bit more time on my hands as I don't have young children to look after. It's unsettling!