Is it normal for primary schools to make children ask permission to eat their puddings?

[ShoopShoopShoopShoop]

DS has started reception. New parents were invited to lunch. Lovely.
The head teacher then told us the rules. They have to eat their main, then raise their hands and ask permission to eat dessert. And if the teacher decides they've eaten enough main they're "allowed" to eat pudding.

My DS just sat down and ate his biscuit before I realised, then ate his dinner (he left 2 chips).

Anyway whoops 😬

Is this normal though?

Has anyone, anywhere on this thread (and I'm genuinely asking because I might have missed it) said children aren't allowed pudding if they've not eaten enough main? Because all I've read is they're encouraged to try more of their main first. That's completely different to not being allowed pudding. I've never ever ever seen a child denied pudding on about 15 years of teaching. Parents have paid for it (in KS2) for one thing!

I suspect it's unpopular but people also have to realise schools do have to make decisions that are the best for the majority. Fine if you let your child eat pudding first at home but schools can't have children here and there treated differently on their mother's say so. Most parents would prefer their child ate a decent amount and a varied amount and that means all children are expected to eat their main first. Lots of things in school aren't completely ideal on an individual level but it's about caring for and educating the student body as a whole.

Yes, it's normal. I work in a school and can tell you, that if we just left Reception children to eat without any adult input, you'd get a) nothing eaten b) pudding only c) one mouthful of main! With little ones, we try to encourage them to eat their main or at least try it! You'd be surprised by the amount, that look at their meal and say 'I don't like that', and actually in most cases, it's because they don't know what the foods are! No child is forced to eat their meal and if they continually won't eat or leave most of their food, we always notify parents.

@PurBal I agree with you and we do the same. This is making me worry for my child starting school!

Seems odd having pudding on the table at the same time as main - you'd expect main to be cleared before pud was dished out.

They shouldn’t be creating a situation for any child where the dessert holds value and needs permission? Surely if it’s healthy eg yogurt or fruit why does it matter what order it’s eaten in if it forms part of a balanced meal

100% agree with this statement. Too much fuss around food by adults creates fussy eaters from my experience.

Sounds fine to me!

They shouldn’t be creating a situation for any child where the dessert holds value and needs permission? Surely if it’s healthy eg yogurt or fruit why does it matter what order it’s eaten in if it forms part of a balanced meal

exactly this! Why does it matter what order they eat it if it’s a nutritional element of the meal. If it’s not, why are you giving it to them anyway. They don’t need a lunch time treat every day? I’d be really annoyed about this.

Thing is if children ate their pudding first the majority of them would just leave the table without touching their main.

When you go to a restaurant most people eat their main before pudding, this is just what school are doing, replicating the norm in most households

Noone is suggesting here that a clean plate is needed. If your child has left a few chips they will get told go ahead for dessert. If they have taken 1 mouthful they will be told. Try to eat a bit more of the main.

I don't know of any school that serve hot dogs or chicken nuggets. Burgers and pizzas are 'home-made' at our school and certainly not upfs.