How people talk about only children

[oneandonlygreg]

I work with children. There's one child that is an only child, and they're also a bit of a handful at times. Nothing awful, they're very sweet, but just quite intense.
What I find most upsetting is how people attribute every negative quality of this child to them being an only child.
Today I've heard "when you realise they're an only child, it all makes sense" and "they've spent all summer with no one to talk to, so they've come back and taken it out on xx" and "their parents try really hard to make up for the fact they're an only child, so that's why they're like this".
It's not just this situation, I've noticed a trend.
I worry for my child as I have been told I can't have any more children. Why do people treat only children like they're some kind of alien. There are other children I've encountered who are much worse behaved that have siblings.
Has anyone else noticed this?

But you're just doing the same implying all the negative attributes of families with more than 1 child!

I think it's all bollocks myself. People are individuals, shaped by their upbringing whatever that might look like.

It's the same shite for second child, or eldest child stereotypes. Or even girls v boys "boys don't get bullied, they sort it out themselves"... a second child is not a competitive child, oh on and on...

I was just talking to my mum the other night about how much I loved being an only child. I never ever felt my mum's attention was on anyone else so I didn't have to compete. I lack competitiveness as a person generally. I love sharing things and I think when I was little I never felt different BC I didn't have siblings.
I did feel different BC of my parents being much older. But that's nothing to do with it really. I did have a brother and sister who died during childbirth, they would've been 15 and 20 years older. But I always think if they were here then I probably wouldn't be. But that doesn't bother me at all. I'm just really happy my mum got to have a child as that was her greatest wish.

Implying - for you because that is what you want to read into it from your own background and experience. And, no, people are definitely defined by their upbringing and heteroglossia that they bring with them to each situation. Why do you think there are so many screwed up individuals in our world?

I'm struggling with this so much at the moment - my daughter is 3 and the comments are coming thick and fast. Most of her nursery friends mums are pregnant or just had another baby. I had such terrible PND that the thought of doing it all again fills me with such dread but I also feel dread at the thought of her being bored and lonely her whole childhood like some people claim she will. Or that I 'overcompensate' to make sure that she isn't and that makes her spoiled.

She won't be lonely or bored. She won't know any different. You can't miss what you've never had. I'm and have always been a perfectly happy only child. And I am much closer to my parents as an adult than most of my friends with siblings.
Yes there are drawbacks but there are equal benefits, just like any decision in life.

I'm generally resilient but I find it difficult when people say thoughtless things. I didn't intend my child to be an "only child", but lost three pregnancies and the window has passed now (he doesn't know this - I'm not sure if he ever should? He was desperate for a sibling and I think it might cause him pain). But even if I hadn't wanted more it's OK for him to not have siblings - families come in all shapes and sizes.

Anyway, my point is, as well as just generally minding their own business, people need to think about the wounds they might be opening when they spout daft opinions about only kids!