Things you assumed and were astonished to find out you were completely wrong

[Cattery]

For example: The Elgin Marbles. Heard these mentioned from time to time over the years. Always pictured marbles; kids’ marbles. Then I heard they were something to do with Greece and I’ve always thought Elgin was there. Got it all completely wrong

Oh yes. I conflated the Doomsday Book and the Book of Revelations when I was a kid. And I live in Sussex 😅

You've taught me something!

What on earth are you talking about?

I strongly suspect that you were right about one recent extremely high-profile coffin, though, and maybe other celebrity ones.

@PinkArt Another Torquay one: Fawlty Towers wasn't filmed in Torquay. The famous scene of John Cleese beating his car was filmed in a street in Harrow, north-west London. Also, when people hear "Torquay", they sometimes think it's "Turkey" pronounced wrongly. Adrian Mole misdirects a Turkish woman to Torquay in one of the books.

As for the classic "Channel Tunnel runs along the sea floor" one, you could be forgiven if you ever visited the Channel Tunnel exhibition (now long gone, sadly), which had a massive model railway of the two terminals, and the tunnel itself was transparent, and ran next to a fish tank to represent the sea.

As for misunderstandings of mine:
One sometimes said in TV shows about the law: "She was his coke and spiriter." (Co-conspirator)
"The ponies, they laugh at what you say." (The point is, they laugh at what you say, from the song "Bad Day")

It’d make the journey a lot less boring!

You don’t even get a glimpse of the sea - you might as well be in a longer version of the Blackwall Tunnel.
Give me the ferry any day, not that I’ll ever convince dh - it is at least quicker, when you’ve got a long drive the other side.

It's actually "Push pineapple, shake the tree" accompanied by the appropriate motions.
I can see how it puts pineapples and trees together in people's minds though.

When I was at university I was asked out early on in my first year by a (seemingly) sophisticated 5th year.
My image of him was shattered when he insisted on getting up to dance to "Superman" by Black Lace, doing all the actions with great enthusiasm.
"Spraaaaaaay!"
Arghh

Totally sang ‘Ask all my Starbucks lovers’ in complete faith until about, erm… checks watch

This thread is making me feel clever and superior.

Thank you
I was very, very confused there!

Sorry, why did everyone think Roy Orbison was blind?
I always thought Matisse was blind from birth and that's why his art was so blocky. Turns out he went blind as an old man.

The first time the R4 presenter introduced Crossing Continents I thought he said cross incontinence and wondered what sort of programme was about to begin.

Also I was once zoned out in church, years ago, when I clearly heard the vicar mention savoury tortoise, he actually said ‘in the words our saviour taught us.’

The first time I had to say Norfolk I thought it was pronounced like Suffolk.

Mac and cheeses is an american bastardisation of the glorious macaroni cheese
Yet again, laziness from across the pond!

I thought Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling were the same person. Each time one was mentioned I just assumed that I had the surname wrong. Even now I am not completely convinced it's not just 1 guy in every Hollywood film at the moment, just with different looks!

Because we dad's have special training for this sort of thing.

For years I had my children believing that Yorkshire sheep had shorter legs on one side to compensate got living on hills and that my grandad worked in a factory making pips for raspberry jam.

There was other nonsense too.

Bees do indeed make honeycomb, but not the boiling sugar+bicarb stuff that makes up the delicious centre of Crunchie bars.

edit: that would make more sense if I’d actually replied to the poster who thought bees did make honeycomb 🤦🏼‍♀️

A couple of childhood ones: I thought foxes were big (tiger-sized), fierce creatures that eat you up, like in fairy tales. I was quite disappointed when I first saw a real one, and how they simply run away, instead of baring their teeth like a hungry monster.

When I was five years old, I was near the end of the queue to pin the tail on the donkey. I couldn't understand why the other children were all getting it in the wrong place, and I was sure I would win. Then it was my turn, the scarf was tied over my eyes, and I couldn't see a thing! 😭I had assumed that it would just appear as a narrow strip in my vision, and I would easily see past it by moving my head.

How would I know how to pronounce hyperbole or Magdalen college if I'd never heard them spoken?
And lots of the geographical ones are feasible, in that most people have a rough idea of major towns and cities in your home country but you won't necessarily know where every town is.(Like a pp I thought Thirsk was in Scotland)

Moleskin isxa cotton-based material
Moleskine is a notebook brabd!

Same here re D day.....get teased about it every single bloody year.

Think about it.

Say you were making Harry potter.

The dining hall is at a college in Oxford.

The Ravenclaw staircase is in St Paul's Cathedral, in London.

The scene where they are learning to fly on broomsticks it filmed in Northumberland.

The Hogwarts Express leaves from Kings Cross station, London again.

To film in order (just for these few scenes) you would have to have all the actors and all the crew in London for the Hogwarts Express, then decamp to Oxford for the sorting hat, then Northumberland for some flying, then back to Oxford for the dinner scene, then back to London for a staircase.

It makes much more sense to book the Oxford COllege Hall for a few weeks and film all the scenes involving food, the sorting hat, end of term etc etc.

Nays to the left!
Unless an MP has bought their horse to work!

It was actually Adrian Moles dad 😂 something like dad thought they were off the coast of Scotland so came running out into the street then went back to bed.

Depends on where they are from!

Oh dear God. Freddie is the nickname. Its alliterative, easy to use in a team scenario
No doubt his parents and wife call him by his real name. Andrew

I'm in my 50s, reasonably educated, and until relatively recently thought Dunkirk and D-Day were one and the same event in history.