Things you assumed and were astonished to find out you were completely wrong

[Cattery]

For example: The Elgin Marbles. Heard these mentioned from time to time over the years. Always pictured marbles; kids’ marbles. Then I heard they were something to do with Greece and I’ve always thought Elgin was there. Got it all completely wrong

She does say mirror mirror!

Eh? Nah, that's wrong

I got mixed up between Stroud and Slough. I met someone from Slough and started telling him how I heard it was a really popular cool hippy arty place and that everyone I knew seemed to be moving there. He looked a bit surprised.

Narwhals are not imaginary creatures.

Until the recent awful events happened in Southport, I assumed Southport was located in the southeast. When journalists were interviewing locals, I thought it was strange how many of them had a scouse lilt to their accent.

I have known for a very long time that the filling consists largely of spiced fruit mashed up which, when viewed in combination with soft pastry (I’m not fond), is the very reason I have never eaten one.

I thought the primary colours were grey, navy and white. Because those were the colours of our school uniform in primary school.

I was nearly about to put my hand up in an art lesson in the first year of secondary school to answer the question “what are the three primary colours” when I paused, uncertain. Because in the room were people who had come from all different primary schools. And their school uniform was different colours. So how…. Thank god I paused, someone else answered “red yellow and blue” and everything just clunked into place.

The ones on this thread that I’m going to be googling to check you’re not all having me on are instep, and pontefract.

I’ve always assumed they were spherical shaped just had to google

Nope! Not in the 1937 Disney version at any rate.

At the grand old age of 52 I have been educated by a six year old!

I did NOT know that about Asterix.

When I was a kid, we used to go past Parc d'Asterix every year when we went on holiday in France, every year I asked if we could go there, every year my miserable parents said no.

I made pretty much the same mistake, only I thought that twat was just another word for twit. Unfortunately I made my mistake out loud in a Faculty meeting.

Everybody was very sweet about it and someone explained it to me. They knew I can be a bit of an innocent abroad and guessed what I'd done.

Nonce has a technical meaning in cryptography as well. Guessing that the coiner of that term didn't speak British English...

you what??? Aren’t they, like, water unicorns? As in, not real???

god I love this.

Also thought the Elgin marbles were ... well marbles. I was vaguely disappointed when I went to see them but couldn't really share it with anyone.

I agree and I had no idea that Roy Orbison wasn't blind and Joan Armatrading wasn't American. But, I find it hard to believe that some thought the world was all in black and white until the colour got switched on. Would they not have seen any paintings in colour painted years before colour photography or films?

😲 Nooo! That's gotta be faked! Does anyone know if Snopes is still going? Off to check... although I wouldn't be surprised if their "fact checking" was actually lies too. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

Yep. Me too for about two decades..

The UK is not as "upright" in respect to north-south meridians as it looks on the back cover of the road atlas, to help it to fit in the rectangular page. Bristol is also further east than you think it is, being further east than Cardiff.

Oh, go back to the library, you humourless twig

I misread this and thought you said Wigan was an island...never been to Wigan, have now googled it and it is neither on the coast or an island.

Wigan Casino, music and dance venue, ran all-night Northern Soul nights, so a sort-of precursor to raves.

My friend regularly visits her relatives on the Isle of Mann and until recently I thought she was visiting somewhere near Guernsey. I couldn't understand why the weather was so bad all the time until she had to explain where it actually was.

I'm so embarrassed.

That Joseph had the techni coloured dreamcoat, not Jesus 🫣.

And, it's 'finicky' not 'finickitty' and definitely not 'pinikitty'....

Oh and the Pharaoh islands aren't near Egypt..

Haven't read the whole thread so maybe someone is as dumb as me and thought this too, but until quite recently I thought that Andrew Flintoff and Freddie Flintoff were two separate people; two halves of a famous pair of cricketing twins.