To think the health visitor shouldn’t be optional anymore?

[Belindaminder]

Over the years I’ve been aware of situations that may not have escalated if a professional had noticed and intervened.
A previous neighbour refused any visits from both midwife and HV after the birth as they are ‘know it alls and it’s not necessary’. Her baby needed an emergency operation due to an illness that hadn’t been noted. Also it was discovered later on he had partial deafness which would have been picked up during the hearing test.
Someone I know well opted out of seeing a health visitor when her baby was born. As a result she has never been weighed (since birth), and has never reached out for advice or support with several issues the baby has had ‘because she’ll grow out of them naturally’.
I worry babies like this disappear into the shadows and miss out on health or developmental support they may need. Also the potential hiding of abuse (in parent or child or both), neglect, depression etc that may not be picked up until nursery age or later.
I’ve heard many horror stories that could have been prevented with a professional being aware.
I was thankful for my HV when my eldest was born. I was in an abusive situation. I really wanted to breastfeed but I was ‘forbidden’ from doing it. The HV was great at giving me a confidence boost and reassuring me my baby was healthy. The support I was given lead me to the happy situation I am now in, which wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for her. (I’ve had awful ones too, I’m not praising them as royalty, just that their profession is necessary).
I know I will see responses that it’s our human right to decide and many babies and families are absolutely fine and gain nothing by the HV visits, but what about the ones who aren’t? In my eyes as a HV I’d be concerned and suspicious about why someone opted out of something that was to provide advice and care for their child. There were no ‘repercussions’ for the people who refused a HV when they needed one. Shouldn't it be viewed as neglect?
Does anyone agree that HV visits should be part of the deal of having a baby or face the consequences, or am I on my own here?

🙄 so weird

anyway I’m bowing out…,gotta go to work ..,.,but hey you’ve kept me entertained with your tall tales !

No, it is a balanced post. You disconnect using the services of a company whose employees are rude to you etc or make a complaint. Surely we don't live in North Korea and have choice who people do what to us. Come on. Who is paying this websites to try to turn the UK into a communist country?

Also this guy who everyone thought is very liberal and leftist and is in charge of your country, is actually very harsh

Dear people, fight for your democracy!!!!

Yeh ok 😂

People like you make me feel physically sick. Mind your own business. Some people don't want to be inconvenienced by having to accommodate government sponsored strangers turning up to their homes and pushing their government sponsored agendas on them. I used to work with HVs and some of the comments they made about their "patients" were disgusting. Insulting them because their houses weren't tidy. Making comments about how sloppy they looked in their Pajamas (in their own homes!). It's okay, if I have any questions all ask my mum or my go thanks. People like you are so dangerous. Please mind your own business.

Personally I think they’re a complete waste of money and time. I think mothers should be encouraged to seek medical advice from their GP or pharmacist (depending on what it is) and learn how to use them effectively. If children need developmental checks then those could be done at your go practice or at a clinic like any other wellbeing check. Treat people like competent adults and they will behave like them.

Believe what you like that was the system and a really good system that worked well when dd was diagnosed nearly 20 years ago. I doubt had I had a HV they would have referred but the GP saw the regression first hand over the course of a few days and referred.

In theory, yes. In reality the service would need a lot more funding, a much more consistent approach and it’s only a snapshot in time. It’s also easy to circumvent the system.

We lived in a different county for the one year review, they sent me an appointment for when I was at work. I said I couldn’t make that but my non workings days were x. They said if I coils t make the only day they could offer me, they wouldn’t be able to visit. For the second year review, they again made an appointment on a non-working day and this time they said they’d give me a video call at some point, I told them we were moving and they said ok check in with the new county when you do. We moved shortly after DD’s second birthday and within the timeframe for a review. Again the system sent a date for my working days. This time they were obviously keen to see me as a new family in the area they’d never met and rearranged for a non working day. I could tell we raised a few concerns because we were new to the area, no family, had some issues with childcare. HV tried sending me to some toddler groups but as soon as I said I worked and didn’t commitment on my non working days but DD was at nursery, that was it, concerns alleviated. Didn’t ask which nursery just took it on good faith that someone else was aware of us. So it really is just a snapshot.

The one we saw recently was nice enough and I could tell we raised some concerns but I don’t think they’ll be keen to see us again because we’re being monitored by another institution. All the ones we’ve had before were batshit telling me I couldn’t crochet with baby sleeping on my chest because I should be sleeping, even though they only slept on my chest and that’s not safe sleeping so I couldn’t sleep. I also reached out for support with reflux and the best they could offer me was “your baby squirrel’s mummy, you know best” when I had no clue what I was doing at all.

well, she will mind it. She could not chose a good guy so she needed the government officials to come and save her from her ordeal and this is what the authorities are there for: to keep peace, quiet and order.

and you are right: they are not here to come and force your hands behind your backs and tell you how to think, behave and live your life in your own home. If this is what England is heading too, thanks God I still have my old country passport and never bought myself their famous one for 800 pounds.

If the system, and the HVs, were as good as they were when my twins were born I'd be inclined to think it worthy of consideration. They had three HVs, both excellent. The first swapped us to the second because she had twins so had a a better understanding of some issues. We were then swapped again when DD2 was diagnosed with a health condition - the new one was specialised in supporting families going through that kind of experience.

However, the experience i have had with my youngest, my 5th biological child, has made me see some of it as an absolute waste of money. The first one made four appointments that she didn't show up for. The second one was just rude and downright dangerous in some of her advice. She told me not to give DD anymore of a specific medication as she believed it wasnt meant to be given to babies. she said she'd double check and get back to me. i didn't hear from her for over a month. Obviously i spoke to the specialists secretary and got confirmation she was very wrong.
She also told me she didn't like people who made complaints to the NHS - a post partum mother with a baby left with significant damage because of two massive hospital errors.

@Kitkat1523 so you can't be reported to social services unless you give consent? "Oh hi, I'm worried about a mother leaving her child with dangerous electrical equipment" "well unless the parent has consented to being reported for endangering her own child there's nothing we can do sorry bye" unless I'm misunderstanding something here because it looks like that is what you are saying but I might have read it wrong

I don't blame her, what is artificial feeding?

Also it was discovered later on he had partial deafness which would have been picked up during the hearing test.

These are routinely carried out in hospital, before discharging.

Someone I know well opted out of seeing a health visitor when her baby was born. As a result she has never been weighed (since birth), and has never reached out for advice or support with several issues the baby has had ‘because she’ll grow out of them naturally’.

Perfectly normal for thousands of babies born during covid times.

HV are generally regarded as the people many other health care professionals think little of for a good reason.

I loved my first daughter’s health visitor (saw her before baby was born and often postnatal - was always available if we needed anything) . This was pre Covid in Wales (I know they visit at different times to England).

second daughter - terrible. She was judgemental, refused to help with breastfeeding, argued about contraception etc honestly used to bring me to tears. Told her I was feeling lonely and low and she suggested I sit by the front door and wave to others because I was being dramatic.

I opted out after this.

of course in certain circumstances, they are amazing. Depends on the person, the same with every job sadly.

If you really don't know you should google "artificial feeding for babies"

I found HV support beneficial 11-13 years ago.

DS1 had the routine checks every so often. There were some little milestones that he didn't meet, but nothing major.

At 2.5, they came to see new baby DS2. I had mild concerns about DS1's speech that I mentioned, they did a little check, made an appointment to check properly and he was a little under normal development. At 3, he'd fallen further behind and we already had a paper trail and he was referred to SALT.

That paper trail and intervention came in useful down the line when he was assessed and diagnosed with autism.

A properly structured service gives chances for early intervention and helps build up a bigger picture.

With cuts and the Covid years, primary schools are really hitting the brunt of that lack of provision early on. Parents often don't know if something isn't quite right, or it may seem a minor niggle that's not worth seeing out with other professionals, especially if that niggle is "normal" within the family.

Some health visitors and midwives are arseholes that peddle utter rubbish so on that basis I don't think they should be compulsory. I had some awful experiences and there are plenty of threads on MN about awful HVs and midwives if you do a search.

Also I disagree with the state mandating interference into individual and family life without very good reason. Privacy and autonomy are important rights that shouldn't be given up lightly, due to an over focus on safety.

Its a special form of hell when your health visitor is obsessed with those ages and stages questionnaires knowing full well that your baby has a significant developmental delay. Don't bother asking me if my child can pick up a bloody raisin when they can't even hold their own head up independently.

However, nothing compares to the ultimate hell that is insisting that you attend 6 weeks of baby groups so my child can learn from the other babies and I can pick up developmental tips from the other parents. Being in a baby group full of crawling and walking babies when your baby can't even sit just to get a paediatrician appointment smacked of fobbing me off.

The icing on the cake is referring you to social services repeatedly because the health visitor thinks that you're going all out on the FII stakes when you're trying to tell them that yeah, there IS something not quite right with your child. Tomorrow I'll be waving my child off as they get in their taxi to school. Their special school. Because I WAS right and there WAS something not quite right with my child. My child has a whole host of needs, will always be dependent on care from others and will never live independently.

I had similar and it was the reason for refusing all HV involvement with my last child. For me though HV refused to make any referrals because I had had PND and so all issues with ds were dismissed as being down to that. She actually got thrown out of ds's multidisciplinary team meeting after listening to all reports and findings and advising the paediatrician he was a fool and I had pulled the wool over his eyes and there was nothing wrong with ds. She was later struck off as a baby nearly died after she blocked a GP appointment advising a parent her child had colic and not the twisted bowel that nearly killed him and saw him blue lighted to hospital.

Artificial feeding is what all the MW, HV, HCP all called formula feeding when I was having my DC (in 2016). I thought it was probably a new buzz phrase.

I’m in my 60’s and I’ve yet to find any health professional that is of any use whatsoever.
I have had several family members with quite serious health problems and had to fight to get any help/treatment.
These are not uncommon ailments but things I could diagnose with a five minute google.
So no I think it is a complete waste of time.

I agree that improved social care and support networks would benefit babies, children and new mothers. There are gaps in the system that leave some individuals vulnerable. The HV system in ifs current format did not benefit me, and reading the tone of the other posts here I get the impression it doesn't provide as a service as it is meant to do.
I had a HV come to my house when DD was 7 weeks old. DD was unwell and I didn't know what to do. I hadn't been able to dress myself or shower as DD wouldn't be put down. I'd been on my own all day. All the HV was interested in was weighing DD. As I undressed DD I was trying to explain that she was poorly and ask for advice/help. DD was sick all over me, and as I took her nappy off did a poo in my lap. The HV weighed DD, said that she couldn't advise about her being ill and I should probably ring the GP. The HV couldn't get out my house fast enough. She left me covered in sick and poo with a naked crying baby. She didn't stick around so I could change my clothes or check on DD's health. DD was admitted to hospital later that day with suspected meningitis, had a lumbar puncture and IV antibiotics. It turned out to be RSV/bronchiolitis. It was a really traumatic experience for me, it totally changed my experience of new motherhood. Don't label a service Health Visitor if they aren't qualified to assess the health of an infant or new mother. Call it at home baby weighing service because that's all she bloody did. And no, that shouldn't be compulsory.

Her baby needed an emergency operation due to an illness that hadn’t been noted. Also it was discovered later on he had partial deafness which would have been picked up during the hearing test.

HVs don't do hearing tests.

What are you suggesting be made compulsory? The two visits the HVs do in my area where they give you a couple of leaflets and check you'll be having the baby vaccinated?

No I don't agree they should be mandatory. Mine told me amazing pearls like "if.you bring your child up bilingual they will be slow at talking" "cloth nappies are bad for babies skin" and " as a new mum you don't really understand what the babies needs are" with the last one he was my 3rd.. I likely had a better idea than she did too.

I opted out of HV visits for no 4. Took her to be weighed but I saw no reason to have them in my home. This insane idea they will " show at some point doing the day" for me with 3 other children to get to school and nursery simply didn't work. So I opted out and I never regretted it. There was nothing they could catch that I was not able.to.gp to go over if needed.

In my eyes as a HV I’d be concerned and suspicious about why someone opted out of something that was to provide advice and care for their child.

I never got care and advice. The few times I rang the HV phone line I just got told to see the GP. These were generally for minor baby things that I assumed the HV would be able to help with. Even a question I had about weaning I was referred to the GP.
When one HV sensed an issue with me and asked, I broke down completely and told her I was actively contemplating suicide because I had severe PND. She told me to give it a few days for the phase to pass and then left - I never heard from her again. Don't know why she bothered asking in the first place.

If you're going to force a service onto people, at least make it half competent.

Nah. They aren't good enough or available enough for that kind of rule.