How do I stop waking up in the early hours?

[LivingDeadGirlUK]

I keep waking up at 4am, its really annoying, sometimes I get another hour or so, sometimes I just toss and turn. Its been weeks if not months. I'm not particularly stressed I don't think.

What do I do? :(

This was me. I now have a melatonin gummy before bed from Biovea (10mg). It changed everything for me. My therapist recommended them to me!

It's these ones 🙌

It's possible tbh, I have to sleep with the window open or I'm too hot even in winter, i get woken by my neighbors dog at half six every morning when they let it out to do its business. My partner is a horrendous snorer so I def struggle to get back to sleep if I wake up and hes snoring, but I don't wake up when he comes to bed (always a good 3-4 hours after me).

My neighbor works shifts and you can hear doors sometimes in the night but I'm not really a light sleeper. I go off to sleep absolutely exhausted every night and fall asleep straight away. Then 4am comes...

I'm trying to finish off some work now and I am SO tired, its def becoming a cumulative issue.

This is me for the last four years and I'm now in my early 60s. No matter what time I go to sleep I'll wake up roughly two hours later then usually another couple of times after that. Sometimes I get back to sleep easily other times not. Seen some lovely sunrises this summer.

What really gets me is the dreaming. Vivid dreams every night which I absolutely hate. I never used to dream very much but now it's doing my head in.

I've tried Nytol, CBD oil, even sleeping tablets from the GP but absolutely nothing makes any difference. The only time I've had a decent night's sleep recently was the night after spending an entire night awake in A&E with DD!!

I am quite stressed though and it's not really that easy to just switch off.

Eye mask on and wax earplugs in as soon as you wake up. Sometimes this tricks me back to sleep.

Thanks @tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz & on an outerspace roll @feellikeanalien

I think you wake approx every two hours because a sleep cycle is approx 90mins

and I’d hazard a guess the intense vivid dreams are your mind trying to fit everything from day one into those cycles so it’s clean & fresh for day two iyswim?

so if you were getting 6hrs sleep you could get 3 or even 4 loads done, with sorting and maybe even half loads

but with only time for 1 or 2 cycles everything is crammed in together and some of the colours will run - or you’ll need to rewash stuff the next night

I reckon female insomnia is a biological balance to the caretaker hormones decreasing during menopause

previously we looked after everyone because we were hopped up on caring juice

perhaps the thinking was if we can’t sleep, boredom might replace the mothering instinct and have us doing shit for others just to fill the time 🤷🏻‍♀️

This worked for me:

Mag glycinate (New Leaf off amazon)
Mirena coil - never slept so deeply
Oestrogen
Estriol cream (oestrogen cream, strengthens bladder so no need for night time wees)

I sleep longer and deeper than since pre children.

Those who use the vaginal oestrogen, do you insert it morning or evening?

I can also recommend putting on white noise throughout the night. There are many ten hour videos on YouTube of stuff like rain on a car window. I have a Bluetooth speaker next to my bed playing that all night.

This is an interesting suggestion, it’s amazing what you can find on Youtube!

What time do you normally go to bed? I find that the later I go to bed, the less likely I am to sleep well. Then the more sleep-deprived I am, the more likely it is that I wake up at 4 or 5am. It's a whole vicious circle, probably driven by the effects of cumulative sleep deprivation.

I have to consistently go to bed at a decent time (for me, around 10.30 or 11) to get back into a decent sleep pattern.

Worth thinking about maybe!

Vaginal oestrogen at night, and then lie down. Otherwise gravity.

Thank you! I'll try it tonight. I'm getting a little desperate.

I go to bed between 10 and 11, usually 10:30. I'm always exhausted and fall asleep right away.

I've had this on and off since menopause 11 years ago. Sometimes I have a couple of weeks of normal sleep and think I've cracked it, but it always returns. I'm already on HRT.

What helps for me is:

• A chillow. When you wake up, lie on it to cool you down.
• Get up and have a wee, run cold water on your wrists. I wipe my eyes as well as they are dry.
• magnesium
• no caffeine after 10am
• no screens other than kindle after 9pm
• no alcohol
• limited sugar
• box breathing when you wake up
• if you work from home try and have a nap at lunchtime if you are really feeling drained. This never stops me sleeping the next night as I am just so tired
• sometimes those electrolyte drinks help, during the day - my theory is you need more than just the magnesium
• no drinks after about 7pm, so you won't wake up for loo
• asleep by about 10am. I have to do that, as otherwise I get even less sleep, as however late I go to bed, I will wake up early
• to reset myself I'll have an over the counter Nytol now and again. There is only so many days I can drag myself through work and life with very little sleep, and need the respite

Oops asleep by 10pm that should have read.

Well last night I feel like I woke up a lot but I took PP advice and cleared my mind, didn't open my eyes, and rested till I drifted off again. I still feel tired but not as bad as yesterday.

Magnesium is arriving today.

Hope you get a decent rest soon! It's maddening, isn't it!

The magnesium takes a while to kick in but it does help (in my experience) so stick with it.

How long does it take for Magnesium to work roughly?

It doesn't happen to me that much anymore thankfully but what worked for me was 'if I'm still awake in 15 minutes I'll do some ironing'. Always worked. Whereas before I'd be trying to force sleep and it never worked.

@Frankbutchersfangs can't remember exactly but a good couple of weeks for your levels to build up.

Aren't we suffering enough without adding ironing to the mix! :P

But I take your point :)

I have to make sure I get up at the same time daily too, when this happens to me.

Ironing?! What's that?

Yes which one for nerves? I am anxious as fuck at the moment