What do you make of this email response

[Yikitty]

Email sent by newish member of staff to senior staff member - 4 others cc’d in

Reasonable run of the mill email - enquiring about confirming a date. Email first line is “I hope you are well”

response:

”You don’t need to ask me if I am well every-time you email me unless you know something I don’t. Yes”

Bloody rude and unnecessary!

This sort of behaviour is what makes people think so negatively about managers!

I hate emails that start with I hope you are well too.

I find it rude and intrusive and non of the sender’s business. Just keep it professional rather than start with this.

I would just ignore it although I’m tempted to make up a long paragraph of imaginary illnesses just to make sure they never ask me again.

Ever stop to think that a junior/new member of staff might not have the confidence to be ‘authentic’? They are just trying to settle in and be polite in a way they have been told it’s acceptable to be. Give people a break, it’s not that big of a deal!

Re the quiet word poster that’s been quoted a bit, I don’t think it’s crazy unreasonable to have a quiet word if the emails are frequent and always contain it which seems like it might be the case, but op will have to come back and clarify. No crazy blowup just you don’t need to include that if you’re emailing people so frequently.

I think that @Aydel sums things up very well.

What is the point of saying that to somebody?

"Genuine question, what do you hate about it?"

If I may sum up with a rather old-fashioned phrase, it strikes me as "brown nosing".

Now there certainly is a place for this sort of greeting when communicating with somebody that you haven't spoken to for a long time, eg:

"Hi Sarah, I know it's been more than a year since we last spoke. I hope that everything is still going well for you. I just wanted to catch up with you about..."

In contrast, sending an email to your boss or other senior person in your company and saying this just comes across as trying to ingratiate yourself with your bosses.

Unfortunately, this often works.

A little secret from someone who uses this gambit to those that say they hate it.

We dont actually give two shiny shites how you are - honestly.

I know that! It's no secret, that's why we hate it and hate you for it.

Its just something we say because we're not utter pricks

You are utter pricks. You use insincerity to try to disguise it, but you are utter pricks.

I understand why it can feel intrusive if taken literally, but surely it's just a modern form of 'how do you do' or similar.

No one is actually expecting an answer

I did read some guidelines recently that said we shouldn't start emails like that because basically we have no idea and for all we know, they may have a terminal illness. Does seem an interesting start in a new job role though.

I don't need imaginary ones to make a paragraph.

It’s an important distinction @RollerRunner

I initially thought it was from a junior exec and found it hilariously misjudged and quite probably from someone neurodivergent. On re-reading it seems it was sent from a senior exec and it now reads as belligerent. The power dynamics change things a lot.

Fwiw I work for a time pressed CEO who is very people centred and would absolutely appreciate a ‘hope you’re well’ type pleasantry.

Yes this -I'm assuming the senior member sent it but your OP could be read either way. Lends a whole different slant if a new member of staff is replying like this.
TBH I assumed the junior member sent it hence the question.

Not that I think it's ok for a more senior member to send an email like this but I would assume posting it on MN meant that it was the more unexpected case

🤣🤣🤣

I think the response by the senior staff member was rude. Even worse if it was a 'Reply All'
However I think a more junior new starter saying 'I hope you are well' to a senior staff member is unprofessional and a bit presumptuous, its kind of assuming a personal connection, a bit pally. So I think that is also overstepping. It's as well for the new staff member to learn not to do that if they are in any type of corporate world.

I occasionally put "I hope you are well / I hope this email finds you well / I hope all is well" in an email but only to people I have an existing connection with eg someone either internal or external who I have worked with on something particular in the past and exchanged some chit chat along the way. If we have not had contact for a while I would preface with something along those lines in acknowledgement of the past positive connection.

I am a little old school, but many others in the workplace will also be.

They are either thick or rude of both to reply like that and that's their email style. Yours is to say "I hope you are well" so fuck 'em.

"We dont actually give two shiny shites how you are - honestly."

Yes, I know. And that's what really annoys me. So just drop it.

I really do think less of people who do this in a work situation. And that does feed into my overall impression of them when it comes to doing a quarterly or end of year review.

Also organisations or individuals that really buy into the hierachy or senior/junior as if it actually means anything in the real world are to be avoided anyway. Some managers can only feel important when they're condescending to other people. These managers probably have small penises or BV infections, don't take it personally 😊

I just find it astonishing that people are prepared to accept rudeness from those who are senior to them - the ultimate in brown nosing. It costs nothing to be nice.

I find "I hope you are well" a bit twee and insincere though I would never send a rude retort. I just scroll past.

What does grate though is when the same person has emailed me ten times in a day to have work approved and they start every single email "I hope that you are well?" And I admit I am tempted to say "my health is exact the same as the other NINE times you have asked today".

Good morning, or good afternoon or even good evening is a great start. But yes, I understand. I emailed invoices for the next three months rent to a customer today, for routine admin/account filing. The tenant is great, pays on time, but it feels a bit brash just to send the invoice.

Very rude response, especially from a senior person, and cc’ing the others into the response was particularly nasty. I agree the “Hope you are well” salutation is unnecessary and annoying, but the senior person could’ve emailed the new start direct to tell them to desist from using banal bullshit, or even contacted the sender’s line manager to have a word.

The sensible sender could respond “Duly noted.” with no “Dear Rude Wanker” or “regards” flanking it as previously suggested.

Or instead send a very saccharine reply like “Thanks for your very clear instruction. Have you seen this excellent internal training course on Fostering Good Working Relationships? you narky bastard”. Make sure to CC everyone in.

No one is actually expecting an answer

So why ask? It's just visual noise that I have to read, assess for relevance and discard in order to find out what you actually want from me.

On "bad days", I have missed important information because it was in the first paragraph and I am so used to the first paragraph being filler/fluff/managementese that I skipped to the second paragraph, where I expected the real content to start, straight away.

Everyone should be compelled to write business email like the US military does. No one could be called "rude" then, because we'd all be using an accepted, clear standard.

Don't want to be rude but are they from another northern European country. I do know of one country where they cannot understand the endless English politeness and found it very hard when writing an email in an English office. If they are English then they are very rude and defensive and have a massive chip on their shoulder.

A fellow PCD in the wild!

Can I just clarify - do you mean you are performance managing these people? And you ensure they do worse in their performance management reviews if they ask you if you are well?