What do you make of this email response

[Yikitty]

Email sent by newish member of staff to senior staff member - 4 others cc’d in

Reasonable run of the mill email - enquiring about confirming a date. Email first line is “I hope you are well”

response:

”You don’t need to ask me if I am well every-time you email me unless you know something I don’t. Yes”

I think this is quite funny and what I would like to say. But I have learned that it's not usually well received especially from a woman.

I prefer to the point emails, but absolutely hate it when anyone starts an email with just my name. I always think 'fuck you Dave.' Either say 'Hi Berga' or just launch into the email. I know you're talking to me, you sent the email to me.

Worse is the the dripfeed teams message...

Hi
Hope you are well
Silence

I never answer, because what are you actually saying? Nothing. When you ask or tell me something, I'll get back to you.

I'd be pretty peeved to receive that.

But also, what's the deal with "every-time"?

It’s very much like those unsolicited phone calls, where the person asks ‘how are you today’. It’s just wasting time; they don’t care at all how I am and I just want them to get to the point, which is usually trying to flog something I don’t want.

I prefer a brief greeting either by email, or phone, then get to the point of the communication.

The response was rude though.

🙄🙄🙄 I’ve managed a member of staff who used to do things like this… so awkward! Are they neurodivergent?

Reminds me of.
https://imgur.com/gallery/i-don-t-think-that-s-any-of-business-1PZ199P

It always amuses me that people who have such a problem with email pleasantries / small talk being a ‘waste of time’ don’t consider it a waste their time getting their knickers all in a twist about it.

Yep, I'd assume the emailer had problems with taking things literally.

TBF I’d never write that to someone super senior. I’ve always found the more senior a person you’re addressing the shorter and more concise a message you should send. I basically speak in bullet points to my boss, never elaborate on anything and never add in anything chatty.
That said they could have been less rude.

Yes but it really took off again during covid. I noticed it.

Along with "stay safe" as a sign off!

The recipient of the email should have responded to the sender in private if they didn't like what was said. Extremely rude and condescending to do so and copy everyone else in just to put the newbie 'in their place'.

No wonder there are so many toxic workplaces.

I think it's so interesting how many people think it is pointless and fake! Do you also find the 1 min at the start of the call when you're waiting for everyone to join fake?

75% of the time I reply with an innocuous detail from my personal life. I genuinely think it is helpful! It's where you make connections with your colleagues and they see you as a person not just a machine. And it's so much easier to do your job if people like you!

What do I make of it? Here are the possibilities:

The responder has been badly brought up with no ability to rub along pleasantly with other people.

The responder likes to belittle members of staff they believe are junior or in some way more vulnerable than them as they believe it burnishes their 'status'.

The responder is potentially bit of a bully.

The responder is someone who would probably describe themselves as someone "straight-talking" who "tells it like it is" and has no ability to distinguish the fine line between this and boorish rudeness.

The responder has very low empathy and no ability to consider why someone new, nervous or more junior might feel the need to soften requests made to those more senior in rote pleasantries in order to feel confident enough to send.

I've seen this several times in a corporate environment and I thought it was bad form when I was a junior, albeit I was also a bit intimidated by those who did it. Now, as someone relatively senior it simply lowers my opinion of the people who do it (generally those who think they have more power than they do) and would be having words on the side to the sender about remembering their professionalism. Sadly, I doubt the irony would be appreciated.

The Teams thing I haaaaate! But it's very different IMO - they're trying to get you to acknowledge them so they can engage you in an immediate back and forth. And that is not something I'm willing to do!

Perfect

This. 🤣

I also don’t understand “I might have a quiet word’…. and say what exactly. It’s a bloody email, if you are that pissy I pity you. It’s just a normal greeting, polite.

Because they don’t. Just get to the point. Everyone gets a hundred emails a day - imagine starting each one with “I hope you are well” twaddle. It’s work. Talk about work.

Okay- so I am forrin as I said. And thought the banal pleasantries were de rigour for negotiating my way around the British morays of manners.

Now i am going to have so much fun.

'Good morning Eillen from accounts. Hope you enjoyed The Archers omnibus at the weekend. I know I did'.

Or; 'Good evening Pete from Upstairs. Was that you I saw at the Pride Carnival on Saturday?'

[edited to add- it was- he was playing in the Samba band].

Not going to lie, I wish I could email some of my colleagues You don’t need to ask me if I am well every-time you email me

BUT, I wouldn’t ever do it. I’m guessing the new starter has never worked in the corporate world before 😂

I hate when people write things like hope you are well or are you doing well on emails or even when they say them to my face.

I am autistic though and I never know if they want a lie or if they want the gods honest truth that their email didn't find me well. In fact their email probably sent me into the downwards spiral of never ending tasks and could have been sent to any one else instead of me, and because I don't know how to answer that question I'd spend an ungodly amount of time staring at the screen scripting different answers to something that's probably not that deep but then I'll spend even longer questioning if it is that deep and I'm being too casual about it, and questioning the social deficits I do have and the correct protocol for answering through an arbitrary hierarchy system, and whether any response is appropriate or whether its best to just not reply at all in case I say something wildly offensive even though it's not how I have interpreted it. Even worse what if I do reply "Fine thanks, and you?" And then they proceed to trauma dump on me, and then I will be expected to further reply and ARGH!

... I'd probably never send an email that rude about it though. Or maybe I would but I wouldn't intend for it to come across as rude.

I hate e-mails that start with that. The sender doesn't care in the slightest but the rest of their email will undoubtedly be something which will annoy me.

It’s a bit mean but if the employee is actually saying ‘I hope you’re well’ in every email then they might benefit from this short, sharp awakening.

Is the employee female? Too many women feel they need to soften their emails with ‘Just wondering’, ‘Can I just check’, ‘Would it be possible to’, ‘May I ask a question’, and yes, ‘I hope you’re well’, ‘How are you’.

I would never be mean to anyone though, as we’ve been conditioned that way.

That’s not to say I never use ‘I hope you’re well’. I’ve used it when the rest of the email is going to be quite sharp or giving bad news.

No worries if not

Rude as fuck and deserves the reply apologies. It was a generic greeting. Please be assured that I don't actually care how you are and will note your preference for future use.

Read the book “surrounded by idiots”. You manager sounds like a red personality (even uses this example in the book!)

I agree very rude. Take it on the chin, they want minimal chat and just the results. Read the book, it’s fascinating and will tell you how to handle this type of manager.

Don't bother doing this. You'll look like you can't read the room.