Small acts of self care

[niadainud]

I'm (hopefully) recovering from a sustained period of quite severe anxiety. During this period it has became clear that I often don't consider it worth doing things "just for me" (I live alone) and I was wondering what things people do to look after themselves properly when they have decent self esteem and mental health.

I'm not talking about anything extreme/expensive, or things like an extensive exercise regime, or something essential like personal hygiene as I wasn't so depressed that I stopped washing, eating or wearing clean clothes. More like small things such buying flowers for yourself, shaving your legs even though it's winter and you're single. Wearing nice underwear even if no-one will see it. Insignificant things really, but things that demonstrate that you value yourself.

My mum, for example, always irons her sheets and pyjamas simply because she likes how it feels, not because anyone will be judging her bed linen. Personally I feel that life is too short for unnecessary ironing, but that's the sort of insignificant but significant thing I have in mind.

Thanks.

I sometimes treat myself to a box of these self heating eye masks. They’re not very expensive and you only wear them for about 20 minutes but they’re quite relaxing and a nice little indulgence after a long day

https://www.lookfantastic.com/beautypro-warming-eye-mask-pack-of-5/13645994.html

There’s reliable research that being outside in nature improves mental health, so try to get outside, to a park, with a book and a coffee.

I agree with the fresh air. Where I work is pretty and always go for a walk at lunchtime. May just be 20 mins or so but helps to get out.

Long hot bath with nice smelling stuff e.g. lavender. Something that supposedly relaxes you

Going to hairdressers (I don't go often enough)

Go swimming

Paint toenails

Go for walks

Watch makeup tutorials and try a couple of new things

I’m being more diligent about taking vitamins, it’s making me feel like I’m doing something to improve health and sleep.

Having inner confidence and good self-esteem means not having to engage in “acts of self-care” to feel good about yourself. Just go out and enjoy life.

Things that make me feel like I w done something for myself ....

Declutter home and change things around

Ear wax candles just for fun

Home foot spa and face masks. Treat myself to hair masks, heel creams etc

Go to jewellery shop and act like I'm going to. Uy things when I'm not and try random stuff on, same with expensive clothes shops

Charity shopping then sell it on vinted only for the same price or a £1 or £2 more just for fun

Sing sing sing in the house

Ruthlessly declutter

Not very extravagant - I buy myself a matinee ticket for a show, generally a musical, at a nearby theatre. Up in the gods, costs about £15. Nobody with me, I can switch off from work, switch off from home (SEN child), and just live another life.

Somebody once suggested that if there's not a suitable theatre show, I should take myself to the cinema for the afternoon instead. Haven't done so this year (was saving up for family holiday) but I'll keep it in mind for 2025.

I agree, but it also means not neglecting yourself in small ways (it's not worth cooking a nice meal just for myself / it's not worth going to the cinema on my own, etc.).

Lavender pillow mist and fresh lavender in the bedroom. Spritz it every night.

I've done this, but I wouldn't count that as a small thing - it took bloody ages and a lot of effort and will power!

Face mask
Hot chocolate
Going to the cinema on my own
Buying a magazine
Watching an episode of Gilmore Girls!
Bubble bath or bath bombs
Eating a ready meal from Cook sitting out in the garden

I light a candle when I sit down for the evening. Mine is from home bargains (it was under £3) so it doesn’t have to be expensive. But it signals my time to try and sit and relax (because I’m naturally terrible at it!)
I also like having a bath, with some music or a podcast on, and then putting fresh pyjamas on and sitting on the sofa with a blanket on my lap. Makes me feel all cosy and content

I bought myself a lovely rose body wash today. It was half price too.

Sure, but for those of us don't have heaps of inner confidence or self-esteem, just going out and living isn't always possible! For many of us, things that may seem basic to others, like buying some flowers or painting your toenails, is difficult as it makes us anxious, we feel guilty about it as we don't value ourselves or feel that we deserve it. Threads like these are helpful as seeing others making an effort with self-care helps us to do the same and maybe start to feel a little bit better about ourselves.

Random things I do when feeling good…

I have a mini trampoline/rebounder and put on one or two upbeat songs and bounce for that time.

A 1/2 hour walk (I always do the same one that I can do from my front door as it’s lovely and less mentally taxing than finding new ones!).

A quick YouTube meditation - you can search for the length of time you have eg 5 mins or 10 mins. Can also do with YouTube yoga. Just search for a routine for the length of time you have.

Make myself a nice frothy coffee instead of instant

Take time to make breakfast and eat it instead of finishing off DCs cereal

Take time to take my vitamins

Wear the nice clothes even if I’m not going anywhere special - I don’t mean a posh dress or anything just choose the nicest t-shirt and jeans rather than saving them for a more “important” occasion.

Dance while brushing my teeth

Think “how can I be kind to my future self…” eg wash up before bed instead of leaving it.

Wash my face in the morning

Use a gua sha (you can find quick routines online and the stone is fairly cheap, I have a jade one) when I get a chance - a good one to do if you have a spare 5 mins in the bathroom eg waiting for dc to brush teeth or bathing them. You can just use any oil really, I use coconut which is pretty cheap.

Make a cup of tea to drink in bed before I get DC up.

Go to the library and get a non fiction book out in something random that interests me even if I’m not actually going to decorate my home in a coastal style, cook the elaborate meals or take up crochet, it’s sort of inspiring to read about.

I like to buy a nice loose leaf tea, brew a pot and have a proper posh cuppa

Treat myself to a nice pastry to have with said cuppa

I do the nice underwear thing too, only bought myself nice matching stuff since I became single 😅

I have lifelong anxiety and have found that audiobooks help quite a bit.

Whether working in the garden, in the bath, housework, driving or just lounging.

I have favorite narrators and use different books for different moods. Agatha Christie or similar for going to sleep, thrillers while doing manual labour, etc.

Currently listening to an old dramatization of the Mrs Bradley mysteries.

You can find this sort of thing on YouTube if you don't want to invest in an audiobook subscription.

I have a lovely shower and put spa music on, followed by a really lovely moisturiser everywhere and then do myself a facial. I lie on my bed and just engage in soothing rhythm breathing with the spa music on and the lovely smells and music just make me feel like I'm at a spa! I make a point of doing it every few days when I'm highly highly stressed and it really helps me to regulate! Self care is vital for well-being so good for you OP! X

I took out a subscription to a lovely cosy magazine that arrives every month like a little present just for me😊

Wake up at least an hour before everyone else to bring the dog for a walk and then listen to classical music radio and have the first cuppa of the day all by myself sitting on the couch looking out at the garden. It’s like a tiny holiday!

I need to do some of these things! It's easy not to bother but like OP I think it would help with valuing yourself.

A cuppa with a good friend or a call with my sister.
A blow dry.
A massage or a facial
A new pot plant and a pretty pot
Browsing art in galleries
Half an hour uninterrupted reading, with a cuppa.
A daily orgasm habit
Time to myself, to wander and think.

Exercise class in your local community centre: there’s usually a variety to suit your preferences e.g. yoga, Zumba, keep fit etc.

Obviously the exercise itself is good, but in time (and you’ll have to be patient with this), the social connections are valuable too.

Plus committing to a weekly class means you’re more likely to stick with it. And it’s much cheaper than joining a gym.

Heated eye masks (I get the kao brand from Amazon)
Nice scents at home (candles, Reed diffusers etc)
Home stuff - a new cushion or blanket
Nice bath/shower stuff - cheap or expensive!
Also if I feel overwhelmed I shower or bath with just a candle lit and no light on
Fresh flowers
Sitting outside with a pot of tea or a coffee in the morning 15 mins before I need to start getting ready (the cat comes outside and sits with me and I love watching him do his morning sniff the air!)
Body lotion
I use foot cream every single night too