Small acts of self care

[niadainud]

I'm (hopefully) recovering from a sustained period of quite severe anxiety. During this period it has became clear that I often don't consider it worth doing things "just for me" (I live alone) and I was wondering what things people do to look after themselves properly when they have decent self esteem and mental health.

I'm not talking about anything extreme/expensive, or things like an extensive exercise regime, or something essential like personal hygiene as I wasn't so depressed that I stopped washing, eating or wearing clean clothes. More like small things such buying flowers for yourself, shaving your legs even though it's winter and you're single. Wearing nice underwear even if no-one will see it. Insignificant things really, but things that demonstrate that you value yourself.

My mum, for example, always irons her sheets and pyjamas simply because she likes how it feels, not because anyone will be judging her bed linen. Personally I feel that life is too short for unnecessary ironing, but that's the sort of insignificant but significant thing I have in mind.

Thanks.

I’m always happier when I’ve got a good series to watch on Netflix, something that I look forward to. (Finding a really good series is the difficult bit!)

Also, I find that making my bedroom look really lovely always cheers me up. Getting cleaned and tidied and organised, and redecorating or getting new pieces of furniture from Facebook marketplace or wherever (and making inspiration boards on Pinterest beforehand).

Wear perfume every day.

I don’t have any mega expensive perfumes but I do have a collection of ‘nice’ perfumes. Growing up my mum only used perfume on special occasions and body spray the rest of the time so wearing it everyday feels like I’m treating myself.

Swimming outside if you have a lido nearby is great

Following! Great thread

Love this thread! Small acts of self care are so important regardless of confidence. They are the things that give you confidence. Self worth, self love and self preservation and whatever that means to you. Priceless.

Well said.
I realised I've been sinking recently when I was having to psyche myself up to go to the supermarket that's just up the road. This thread is a great reminder of small things to can do to remind youself that you are worth putting the effort in for.
I would love to 'have inner confidence and good self-esteem' but frankly I don't. Saying basically 'oh, just have better mental health' is not remotely helpful! What is helpful is this thread of small, practical but brilliant suggestions of ways to give yourself a bit of a boost when you are in a funk.

🙄

I take myself to a local museum for a coffee in their restaurant. It has loads of light and comfy chairs to sit and read a book.

I've also recently bought a jigsaw for the days I can't make it out.

Try to have no phone time. Social media and the news are so full of negativity that I find it quite draining.

I've got plenty of confidence, thanks; but, you know, circumstances rain around us all.

It’s interesting reading these. Some I think I must try, others don’t interest me at all. It shows the value of different posts/view points to help the OP.

For me -

1. Fresh flowers every fortnight. I choose flowers I love, not big arrangements that I don’t.
2. pretty bed linen. I don’t iron it, but I love to see pretty sheets and quilt cover.
3. making the bed. There has been whole papers and speeches on the benefits of this.
4. having a decluttered and peaceful bedroom. It is very nice now, but I am surprised that each time I decide to declutter again, I find more things to go, and feel more restful and happy each time. This wasn’t a big ruthless exercise, but a gentle culling each time.
5. half an hour in the sun in the morning. It started as a need to get Vitamin D (dr’s orders) but has become a lovely break. I have a no-phone/devices rule, so it’s a book or just with my thoughts. After reading about the impact of Vit D, I am sure getting more of it also makes this positive.
6. i buy my favourite expensive ‘gift-type’ chocolates every week, but for me, to have a few after dinner each night.

Fresh flowers.

Remembering to turn the diffuser reeds.

I like a nice hot bath with lovely bubble bath.

This time of year I like nice new pjs or lounge wear to wear after my bath.

I love to read and will read in the bath with a glass of wine.

I light candles when I sit down for the evening to watch tv (just cheap ones nothing fancy).

Light the log burner.

Chose a lovely and wholesome programme to watch by myself when I can.

Make a frothy coffee with my coffee machine and enjoy a kitkat in peace.

This thread made me realise I do some of these things already .
I love to eat outside weather permitting
I use body lotion ( not expensive) every day and as a result my skin is lovely and soft
I get a magazine on subscription and I get excited to open a new one and take some time to read it.
I like to visit little independent shops mainly to browse but sometimes find inexpensive little gifts.
I bought a cheap milk frother to make nice coffees at home and I get a pastry from Lidl to go with them. Though I do love going to a coffee shop with friends it’s so expensive.

Little things I do regularly that make me feel better are:

Changing my bed linen weekly. I have two sets of sheets, pillowcases and two coverless duvets so changing the bed takes literally five minutes at the most as I take one set off and put the other set on. It means I'm not dashing to get it all washed and dried in a day and because there's no wrestling with duvet covers it's a very easy job..... which means I'm happy to do it and don't put it off.

I also open my bedroom curtains and window and turn down the bed each morning to get light and fresh air into the room. I swear it just sets me right for the day.

I take my vitamins every day with a pint glass of water first thing. I have one of those pill dispensers with a compartment for each day so it's easy (and again, I'm more likely to stick to little habits when they're simple.) It means I feel like I'm doing something to help my health and the large glass of water first thing won't hurt!

I listen to audiobooks or podcasts and go on a walk or have a bubble bath.

I have hand cream, foot cream a nail file and a lip balm in a dish on the little table next to where I sit on the sofa so I can apply them while I'm watching TV.

I light a candle every evening when I sit down in front of the TV.

I have a subscription to a puzzle magazine that arrives every month. It feels like a treat arriving for me and means I can do a puzzle when I've got a spare five minutes. It's good to get off screens too.

I learnt to crochet. It takes me away from my screen in the evenings and the joy it brings me is huge.

I buy a large bar of choc and keep it in the fridge, I have a small bit each night with a cup of tea.

I wish I could be better with body cream but I am rubbish.

I wash my hair everyday as it makes me feel better through the day.

Make yourself something. Take time choosing nice wool, and knit a snood or scarf with it, or an egg-cosy, or hand-warmers or tea cosy, whatever. Even if you only wear it in private! I'm not a good knitter.
Make an effort to make your surroundings nicer for yourself - tidy, scented candle, a houseplant. Make nice meals for yourself. Not complicated, ones, just things you like and serve them as if you were serving them for a friend.
Take yourself somewhere nice or interesting - a day trip to national trust place, or for a lovely walk, or museum or anything.

Basically, treat yourself as if you were a really dear friend.

Edited- I don't knit for friends. Honest.

I put my headphones on, put on a podcast, get a coffee, and go for a walk by myself.

Walking in nature is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Lots of stuff you can read about if you want to learn more about it.

Other things for me is
Clean and tidy home
Buying myself a really nice mug to have all my drinks from
Reading books

A real silk pillowcase. It's very good for your hair and skin.

Treat yourself to a new hardback book and buy a pretty bookmark to go with it.

Create your own tea ritual. Warm the tea pot, use a nice loose leaf tea, use a pretty china mug.

Spray yourself with perfume and wear a tinted lip balm every morning, even if you're not leaving the house.

Spending twenty minutes reading a light fluffy novel before bed. It’s such a small thing and yet makes such a difference to me.

I understand small pleasures and teeny luxuries are a form of "self care", but in my experience the best acts of self-love have been slightly different.

I made a list of all the small niggles in the back of my head and just sorted them.

I booked the breast scan, the dental/eye check up, updated my will, got blood tests to identify some nutritional deficiencies, saw a physio and followed some rehabilitation exercises for my runners knee (instead of just running on it!), etc.

This process brought me the kind of peace and contentment that no amount of candles, fresh sheets or my favourite audiobooks could ever.

I appreciate it's dull, but it's absolutely worth it.

I start my day with two cups of really nice coffee. I do a couple of quizzes to get my brain working. I live alone and cook for myself. I usually make something nice that will last for a few days or freeze some. I treat myself to a takeaway once every four or six weeks. Candles go on at night so my living room is cosy.

I buy fresh orange juice even though I think it's crazy expensive and drink it out of a wine glass in the morning so I feel fancy.

Actually give myself time to sit down and savour my coffee rather than drink it while doing something else.

Go out for a walk if the weather is good rather than eating at my desk!

Sending some hugs OP. There are some really nice suggestions on here. I'll add mine as someone who is for most of the time upbeat and in good self esteem. Had a wobble after some bad news at the weekend so came on here looking for the same kind of advice.

Mornings: getting out in the fresh air even if weather is awful really helps. If I can get the time, even 15 mins on park bench with travel mug coffee helps lift my mood for the day.

Afternoon: lunchtime walk if you can / quick gym session or swim if possible. Also now go to Aldi / get petrol / do something that needs done at lunch to save time after work.

Early eve: for me, the gym has been a real mood lifter and game changer for general mental health. Felt crap all day and couldn't wait to get to circuits after work. I was determined not to cancel it when someone tried to put a meeting in after 5. Pushed myself more than normal and feel A LOT better for it just now.

Later eve: daily evening skin car routine. Just the act of going thru steps, takes the mind off constant thoughts. I love Micellar water, a nice serum or twice a week I do a face mask / deep cleanser. Watch a good series or read. I am bad at going to bed at a good hour so should improve on that.

Other things: I find the library a really calm place to be and to be around others. Same can be said for just sitting in a cafe, lots of solo are often doing the same during the work day with their laptops, I'm WFH but only WFH for confidential calls, the rest I do at various cafes. Swimming. Park walks. Home manicure. Is there anything you want to learn? A language maybe? I do weekly language classes and I am so grateful for this evenings one as I know it will take me out of my flat mood for an hour and we have a good laugh / chat about our day. Have just bought various vitamins to thrive those ago. Zinc, Magnesium, Vit D.

What do you like doing? Do more of that too.