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How unusual is it to have all four grandparents alive?

206 replies

estaaa · 01/09/2024 16:20

A friend of mine is 31 and has all four of her grandparents. They’re all in their late 80s. I said to her that must be quite rare but she said she’d never thought of it like that.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/09/2024 19:32

Depends upon social trends - if the grandparents were married and started a family by 25 and the parents did the same, it's normal. There are plenty of posters here that are very reluctant to risk waiting to TTC in their 30s (the 'no time if you need fertility treatment' argument), so it's not exactly unheard of outside teenage marriage/pregnancy.

Dr13Hadley · 01/09/2024 19:34

My DC (8 and 11) had six grandparents (due to step parents on my side) up until MIL died last year. They love having so many grandparents!

DisforDarkChocolate · 01/09/2024 19:38

I never had all four alive and my husband didn't either. I agree with you that's it's not that common by 30 years of age.

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ItsJustASimpleLine · 01/09/2024 19:43

When I was born I had 3 great grandparents and all 4 grandparents. My last great grandparents died when I was 8/9.

My 10yr old had 3 Great Grandparents and 4 grandparents until she was 2. She still has 1 great grandad and all four grandparents. Though I'd say they aren't in the best of health.

I feel incredibly lucky to have made it to mid 20s before losing a grandparent.

FelixDoublyDelicious · 01/09/2024 19:46

My dad was born in 1911, so even when I was small paternal grandparents were not around
Mum's mother passed in the 70s same, don't actually know what grandad's name was for sure

Strawberry0909 · 01/09/2024 19:49

I was lucky enough to have all 4 until 30, down to 3 at 32 and they are getting very frail sadly.
DH lost last grandparent at 33,

Mainly due to them becoming grandparents late 40s/early 50s

Also meant DC lucky to of have 5 great-grandparents, For a few years and still have 3 at 6 and 3

UltramarineViolet · 01/09/2024 19:51

Quite unusual I would say for someone aged 30+

All 4 of my DGPs died before I was 30

Sewannoying · 01/09/2024 19:51

I remember 3 of my 8 great grandparents. I lost one of my grandparents around 30, and the remaining 3 are still going and I’m in my early 40s. It’s common in my family to have children young.

Thecomfortador · 01/09/2024 19:52

My Mum's mum died before I was born. Her dad when I was 5/6 so I have a slight memory of him. Dad's dad died when I was very small I think, no real memory and my dad's mum died when I was 16, so she featured iny childhood. They'd all be over 100 now (I'm mid forties).

whatthejuice · 01/09/2024 19:52

I lost one grandparent when I was 17. The other 3 I lost in my early 30s. I feel really lucky to have known all of them well. Two of them met my eldest child so they were great grandparents too.
I do worry that my children won't have their grandparents anywhere near as long.

imhavinghoops · 01/09/2024 19:53

I got to 33 with all 4. They all went within 2.5 years sadly.

LyricalGangsta · 01/09/2024 19:54

I'm 41. I have my maternal grandma still. She is 96. That's it.

chipmugs · 01/09/2024 20:08

I had 3 until I was 12, 1 left after age 21and lost the last when I was 34.

My youngest child is 9 and only has one left 😢

BigBoysDontCry · 01/09/2024 20:25

My dad's parents died when he was 7 and my mum's died when I was a young child. My DSs only had 2 (both grannies) when they were born but lost another when toddlers and the last in their early teens but effectively they were about 9/10 ish when she last really knew who they were.

On the flip side by this point my older siblings DC were already adults with children of their own and grandparents on their other side so had grandparents until much older than mine.

MontagueMoo · 01/09/2024 20:28

I'm in my early 30s and have no grandparents left, and only one parent.

Namesy · 01/09/2024 20:34

Not unusual at all. I'm in my late 20s and have 3 grandparents in their 70s. The other died when my mum was a child.

It would only be unusual to be in your 30s and still have several grandparents if your grandparents and parents were older parents eg mid 30s or older.

LBOCS2 · 01/09/2024 20:41

GrannyWeatherwaxsBroomstick · 01/09/2024 18:50

I had all my grandparents until I was 39. I didn't realise it was unusual either until a friend mentioned it.

Very unusual, I'd think. I'm the same age and have no grandparents and only one parent left.

As a PP said though, it really does depend on the gap between the generations in a lot of ways. DM had me much older for the 80s (late 30s), and her parents had her well into their 30s, so even though my grandmother lived to 94, she was 70 already by the time I was born. Likewise, if she'd still been around, DM would also have been 70 when DD2 was born.

My last grandparent died in 2022, and he was 93 - they lasted well, just had big gaps between generations!

Herewegoagainnnnnn · 01/09/2024 20:44

Really depends - we have both extremes in our family. In my early 20’s I had all four, early 30’s three left, late 30’s one left and my last grandparent passed away when I was 43. My parents had me young and their parents had me young (and the last grandparent was 97 so they lived a long time!) My DH only met one grandfather who lived with them until his teens and his parents had him older. My DC are likely to be in their teens when one set pass away (my DH’s parents) but probably 20’s, possibly early 30’s if my parents remain in good health.

NewName24 · 01/09/2024 20:45

As so many have said, there are lots of factors at play, but even allowing for those, it is pretty unusual in your 30s to still have all 4 grandparents still alive.

Blue78ivy · 01/09/2024 20:48

I grew up with all grandparents and great grandparents

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 01/09/2024 20:51

I had 4 grandparents when I was 31, I'm 40 now and only have one. I did start out with six though (my mum's parents divorced and both remarried long before I was born) , I lost my paternal grandpa at 2, he died at 56 and my paternal gran at 14. My dad is nine and a half years older than my mum and is the penultimate of nine children so his parents were much older than my mum's, my mum is the second eldest of six.

Also I'm from a very working class east London background and it was common to have children young, so the gap isn't as big (my dad was just 31 but my mum was 21 even I was born, my gran was 19 when my uncle was born and 10 when she had my mum ).

I didn't have ds until I was 34, DH was 35, so DS is five nearly six and my dad is already in his seventies, it's not likely he'll still be around when DS is 31, although possible

thursdaymurderclub · 01/09/2024 20:51

at 18 i had no grandparents... thing is nowadays there are even more grandparents... my grandson has me (nana) and pops (step grandfather), then he has grandma and her partner and he has his grandpa and his partner.. there is another step grandmother somewhere also... families are getting bigger

Girlwithapple · 01/09/2024 20:53

My paternal grandparents died before I was born, it makes me extremely sad that I never knew either of them.

My maternal grandmother died when I was 11 and my maternal grandfather when I was 16.

Your friend is very lucky 😊

Halloumiheaven · 01/09/2024 20:54

My mum was 58 and still had her grandmother alive!!! (My great grandmother who was almost 100 and great- great grandmother to my children)

I had 4 grandparents alive and a great grandparent until aged 27. They all died one after the other in about the space of 2years sadly.

Great gran was ironically the last to leave us (I was 33!) back in the day they all were married with kids in late teens/very early 20s. My parents were just slightly later and me and my siblings slightly later still, so for my own children it'll look a little different.

My poor husband had no grandparents since about age 10 and only one parent left when I met him.

To answer your question though - I have working class roots and I think in working class backgrounds people tended to settle down and have children much younger. In times gone by I think it was common for all people to generally have children younger- but in today's world I think working classes still tend to settle and have children younger than say more middle class people that tend to get degree's and careers and leave family to much later.

It's a shame as that way you do lose the beauty of that big family. I'm not judging either class by the way - I'm a total smushing of the two! (Too working class for the middle class - too middle class for the working class- that's where I fit in (or don't!))

JerryHasSprungAgain · 01/09/2024 20:54

Depends on how old you are and what their longevity is ...

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