Extra Curriculars for little kids

[VeryBlackCherry]

I would post on IABU, but looking at similar threads it seems I am unreasonable.
Does anyone else think that putting a 6 year old child through 5 extra curricular activities a week sounds like a LOT?
I am talking about structured activities such as violin, chess club, karate etc.
My own DC does 2 activities a week and I let them get a bit bored. And yes, we do watch some cartoons too. They mostly end up playing with blocks / in the garden or drawing.
One of DC's friends does lots of activities (of course they are the best at every single one!) and I wonder whether I am making a mistake by having such a relaxed attitude. We could easily afford to pay for more activities, it just feels very stressful and too much at this age? I don't want to force my child to do lots of classes just because their friend does, it feels a bit like 'keeping up with the Joneses'.
The child in question has become incredibly competitive. The mum slipped and said they complain about the required daily music practice too. It's something I'd expect more are secondary school age! Or am I delusional and it's the norm now?

Children are all different, I have one who needs to be kept very busy and has acquired quite a few activities - I started him in some and then one which is twice a week he begged to join despite me telling him it might be too much with all his other things. But it was free and local so I said he could try it and if he was getting too tired he would have to stop something. Two years later it's still his favourite activity and he has kept up with the others. I think when he goes to secondary we will need to reconsider. I know other children and families where the activities he does wouldn't work either financially, due to work hours or because they are children who need more downtime than mine seem to. Or some families have lots of local family so are doing sleepovers with grandparents at weekends and things which aren't an option for us. So every family has to negotiate something that works for them.

I would prefer a less busy week but lots of activities seem to be what works for him currently.
Younger one started one of the activities his brother does but clearly wasn't interested so he stopped. So I hope they know they can stop if they want to (not just because they're a bit tired one week but if they consistently don't want to go).

You are being unreasonable. Comparison is the thief of joy. Sounds like the other family are giving their child lots of opportunities to find other activities they may enjoy & excel at.
And well done to them ensuring their child does the required music practice. Music tuition is so expensive & a child will not make any progress by not doing home practice.
Sounds like your "friends" are doing a wonderful job broadening their kids horizons (as well as their social networks, important to have friends in different circles). Maybe you could learn from them rather than nitpicking about them on mumsnet.

I'm thinking this too. Sounds like the OP is very fixated on this child & her mum.
OP do you have friends in real life you can ask about how many activities their child does?
Maybe get involved in the PTA at your child's school, there will be lovely mums who you can get to know.

Children are different!

My eldest did 1 extra curricular at age 6, she needed a lot of downtime and enjoys reading and crafting at home.

My younger one did loads more. Now age 9 she’s doing a club every day and 2 on Thursdays… and that’s less than last year… plus piano… yes it’s crazy but she loves it, she is very sporty and social and seemingly has no off switch. She actually sleeps better if she’s done sport.

Yes some children doing multiple activities as being pushed into it by their parents. Others genuinely want to do these clubs (maybe not every single time but mostly!).

It sounds like you’ve decided this other family must be the pushy parent type…

I think it very much depends on the child. Mine is non-stop and needs constant entertainment, and has enormous amounts of energy. Her friend next door needs a lot of downtime. So they have different schedules. Clubs don't take up that much time that there is not also enough time for playing/ reading etc. At 6 mine did dance x 2, gymnastics, swimming, french, rainbows. She's (now aged 9) given up gymnastics but still does dance, swimming, brownies and french and also does choir and piano. She's constantly asking to add other things - most recently ice skating and musical theatre, but we tend to do these things as holiday clubs instead. It's all for fun rather than competitive though she has just started in a swimming club. It's a lot but some of it is at school so less running around than you'd think. I have a feeling most of it will get dropped by secondary school so letting her do what she wants for now. It's all led by her rather than us.

Ah well, they will be the people who get kids to pick up pens too early in an attempt to write earlier (because must be better?) and in doing so can hinder gross and fine motor skill development, so slowing down ability to write....
Activities are great for kids, particularly if social and if the child is the one keen to go.
But there is a balance, and so much is to be gained from free play and socialising right up to young adult hood...

Mine did lots at that age. She was also an only child living in a flat with no garden and with 2 working parents. She preferred to go to the sports clubs at her school to the after school club, and I also finished early one day to take her to an activity. No activities on the weekend though. Worked for her, and meant she got lots of exercise (they only did one hour of PE a week in primary)

i knew it! 😆

I have one that does two sports, one that does none. On the waiting list for a particular sport and also musical instrument tuition.

We do know of one child who is at various clubs each week. He hasn't much time for free play. I find it sad tbh. It's great for children to experience being bored or doing free play out in the street.

My 7 DD does a lot of activities. They are all things she has asked to do except for swimming which is compulsory. She has recently decided to give up cubs and she was moving from beavers to Cubs and this would have meant dance, followed by cubs one evening which I let her try but she found too much.

However having watched some Olympics she now wants to try athletics and canoeing.

She likes to be busy and this suits her. I don't want to discourage her from trying new things.

My DS is older and he does less, at 4 activities a week. This suits him. I would be guided by the child as they are all different.

Equally with the competitiveness it is a fine line. It is OK for the child or adult to feel proud of their achievements it helps to build confidence, but no one wants to hear boasting.