Extra Curriculars for little kids

[VeryBlackCherry]

I would post on IABU, but looking at similar threads it seems I am unreasonable.
Does anyone else think that putting a 6 year old child through 5 extra curricular activities a week sounds like a LOT?
I am talking about structured activities such as violin, chess club, karate etc.
My own DC does 2 activities a week and I let them get a bit bored. And yes, we do watch some cartoons too. They mostly end up playing with blocks / in the garden or drawing.
One of DC's friends does lots of activities (of course they are the best at every single one!) and I wonder whether I am making a mistake by having such a relaxed attitude. We could easily afford to pay for more activities, it just feels very stressful and too much at this age? I don't want to force my child to do lots of classes just because their friend does, it feels a bit like 'keeping up with the Joneses'.
The child in question has become incredibly competitive. The mum slipped and said they complain about the required daily music practice too. It's something I'd expect more are secondary school age! Or am I delusional and it's the norm now?

Probably not helpful to your OP but interested to hear peoples responses. My dd(5) does 3 activities a week, 2 after school and 1 at the weekend, she also goes to after school club 2 days/week. Since starting school (scotland so we've been back a few weeks) it's a fight to get her to go to the after school activities, i think because she's just tired after school and can't be bothered socialising any more. In two minds whether to keep persuading her to go and see if it's just a phase or drop them.

Yes, but you started a thread on the internet ‘wondering about whether I am making a mistake’ by not having your child do more activities. You’re directly comparing your child with hers and talking about ‘keeping up’. It’s irrelevant if this other parent wakes their six year old at 5 am for cello practice and higher maths. You’re parenting a different child. Do what suits you and your own kid.

Just do whatever works for your DC. My 6yo does 4 activities (swimming, ballet, gymnastics, coding) - she chooses what to do, apart from swimming, and the classes she takes chop and change a bit depending on what's available. She loves it. I wouldn't have enjoyed doing as much at that age I don't think, but she's an ex nursery kid and doesn't find it stressful to go to a group for the first time.

Couldn't care less if she's making any progress with them, and if she wants to stop she can.

have a cookie🍪

Mine is 6 and does 7 activities a week. Fairly normal around here (affluent north London private school). Half of the activities are after school in her school building, and she doesn't need any wraparound care, so she spends more time chilling at home than dcs who are in wraparound care 7.30am-6pm, and it's more interesting and fun as she's interested in the activities and with her friends. All of them are physical activities, not sitting down like chess or tutoring. We'll start tutoring in Year 4/5 but for now it's all just fun. We get weekly spellings, daily reading and a homework task weekly that takes about 30 mins.

She does music practice daily too, she started violin aged 5. Supposed to be doing 20 mins daily but it's more like 10!

@lanesdowne wow that does sounds like a lot! It sounds ok if they are after school and you don't have to sit around waiting for the lesson to end. We're just in a standard state school though, I think a lot of children seem to do swimming as standard, and I assumed maybe a couple more things. I started instrument when I was about 8 or 9.

Child dependent I think. My 6 year old does 6 things a week (rainbows, swimming, beavers, football and two types of dance). She'd happily do more. We spend loads of time outside, she gets time with her friends and free play time. She's thriving at school. Equally it wouldn't work for all her friends because some of them need more downtime/sleep so very individual I think.

Her brother (9) does 5 things at the moment (3 sports, 1 music and 1 drama club) and he's biding his time til 2 things he wants to add become available once he's 10.

My only "rules" are that once they've started they stick the term out or if it's a team based sport, they don't let their team down so attend matches/training. I ask them before I pay for the next term if they want to continue and the answer is always yes. My oldest plays the violin. Before he started, he was told he'd be expected to practice 4 times a week besides his lesson. He doesn't always want to but he doesn't want to quit so he practices.

I don't think either of them are particularly (other than between themselves) but they enjoy doing things.

Why would a parent expect a child to have so many activities that their 'working week' is longer than the adult, or even close?

There is huge value in child development of free play, being bored leading to creativity, physical activity, socialising with friends, engaging with parents, reading, cooking, all sorts around the home.

Some of the organised activities while well meaning can actually slow childrens development in many ways.

Let them have free time and play.

I think kids who are overscheduled can get stressed out by it all, just hanging around with friends/family having unstructured playtime is important for kids. My DD at this age did a couple of one hour aftershool clubs, which were in the school itself, so it didn't really impact on down time. She started in a local football team at 8, with weekly evening training and a match most Saturdays, so that was a lot more full on.

Doing lots of activities can be a competitive thing for parents, and the mother you mention does seem to see it as a status thing, and the little boy unfortunately seems to have picked up on it if he's bragging about his achievements.

I guess it seems crazy to me, I am a very chilled out person. I did 2 activities maximum, when I was much older 😂! I still did great academically, can play instrument and speak several languages.
It feels to me a little like some children are really into sports, which school doesn't provide opportunity to do, but I do think it's crazy to have so much going on at the age of 6.
One of my cousins works as a youth support worker and is very vocal about learning through play and children having fun, maybe I listened too much to her!
I am getting slagged off by some very angry people here 😂! Bless their little hearts.

I agree, OP, but I've accepted that different parents make different choices based on their children's abilities and personalities (and the resources and time available to them) so I don't feel insecure about the choices that we've made as a family.

My older DC has a weekly swimming lesson plus a school club and that's it for us. Instead of clubs, we go to the playground 3-4 times a week. Personally, I value the social aspects, the free play and physical exercise that my DC gets from chasing around the playground with other kids much more than any organised clubs, but I'm lucky to have a job that fits with school hours and I understand that other parents may feel that their children benefit from being exposed to more structured activities. It's just different priorities.

I do sign my DC up for various sports clubs during the holidays, mainly as childcare but also so they can try things that are out of their comfort zone.

@Stewandsocks I think what you're describing is more what I thought was 'the usual'. I guess I am just questioning my chilled out attitude as it's DCs best friend who's so very active?
I've mentioned to their mother that my own DC might be starting a different instrument to their child's soon. Now she's looking at the classes in that instrument for their kid too!
I've not been following with my DCs other friends' activities as we had another baby. I just don't know how people have the time?
We have enough money to send DC to any activities they would like, not sure why am I supposedly 'jealous' if I could easily do the same. It just feels so... much!

Bless your heart. I'd buy you some coffee and cake. And give you a big hug. I think you need one <3

It sounds as if the child enjoys the activities, and gains confidence from them.

Honestly when they are young it is worth trying everything to see what they love - my son is 9 and for many things that is old to start serious involvement.

No, I don’t think it’s too much. I think being involved in sports and different activities from a young age provides children with so many important skills.
All of mine do a few each, with a preferred 1/2 that they excel in. The others they do because they enjoy them. Swimming is non-negotiable in our home.
The youngest is only so just goes swimming weekly. DS5 does karate, football, rugby & swimming and DS6 does guitar, swimming, gymnastics & karate. DD just does trampolining & gymnastics but both at a high level so it’s 4 nights a week and Sundays are usually a competition.

I really do think it depends on the child.

Growing up, I did an extracurricular every day of the week. Mostly different dances, drama, choir and karate. I started very young and it was just the norm for me. I'm so grateful to have had those experiences.

My younger sister was put in all the same classes, but she was clearly not interested at all, so my parents pulled her out. She did an instrument and a sport instead. Simple as that.

My little one is only a year old, but I expect I'll put him in as many classes as he's interested in (and I can afford) to begin with, then take his lead from there. Although I will really try to encourage at least one musical instrument and one physical activity a week at the minimum. I think these experiences and the skills they develop are really, really important.

Mine does five activities a week. But doesn't go to breakfast club/ASC or watch much TV so realistically there is still loads of time for unstructured free play of the "drawing and blocks" variety. I was doing six things a week at that age and still had tons of downtime. There is/was no competitive element to any of it though (apart from doing music grades, but that still isn't competitive as such).