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Original poster

Why have you got anxiety?

59 replies

ssd · 30/08/2024 08:55

I'm trying to understand why I have anxiety. I know it does me no favours and sometimes its worse than others. I thought it was menopause but dh said ive been anxiety since he met me 30 years ago. In a school report i got 50 years ago it says "ssd is an anxious pupil especially in new situations "...so i just feel I've always been anxious.

Im not sure why, so im asking for anyone else that knows why they have it.

OP posts:

Funnywonder · 30/08/2024 15:09

I think some people are predisposed to underlying anxiety, which can be heightened by particular events, but is always there as background noise. I was always an anxious child and a worrier and was preoccupied with illness and death from a very young age. It didn't help that I grew up in Belfast during the Troubles and saw and experienced a lot of very distressing events. I was put on Valium at 8yo as I suffered severe anxiety around learning to swim, which caused alopecia. And learning to swim was non negotiable! I was put on it again at 10 when I saw a very graphic Troubles related image and couldn't eat or sleep. Then I had very debilitating OCD as a teenager. I haven't had any more 'big' occurrences as an adult, despite a lot of very stressful times, but I'm generally anxious (I also suspect I have ADHD or ASD but that's for another thread.) My youngest son now has severe OCD, not something I would have wished to pass on to my child in a million years.

OnAndOnAndonAgain · 30/08/2024 15:16

It's new for me, I think it's a combination of peri, a cancer dx and my older ds attempting suicide earlier in the year. It's really come to a head over the last week and I'm going to try and see the dr next week about it

TorturedParentsDepartment · 30/08/2024 15:19

Combination of my personality, my upbringing and the fact I work for the bloody NHS!

Interested in this thread?

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Menopause Women's health

the80sweregreat · 30/08/2024 15:22

I tend to have the idea that everything I'm
going to do is going to be a catastrophe :(
It is horrible. Meds seemed to make it all worse too , which I know sounds wrong
I just manage it myself now

thursdaymurderclub · 30/08/2024 15:24

i wish i knew what it is that causes it and then i can rip it out..

SkeletonBatsflyatnight · 30/08/2024 15:31

Trauma. A deep seated need to be perfect in every way learnt as a child to protect myself from my mother. Obviously I'm never good enough to meet my own standards so am permanently anxious that other people will see through the veneer.
I really struggle with things I can't predict/control and other people's emotions in particular.

QuickMember · 30/08/2024 15:36

iloveeverykindofcat · 30/08/2024 08:58

At this point in history I think it makes more sense to ask why anyone doesn't have anxiety.

So true. Interesting thread and good question. I think I have anxiety because of some negative early years experience. As much as I think I have my life sorted, the old social anxiety kicks in around back to school and school run time. Makes me feel weary, nauseous etc. I just carry on through it all.

GreenPoppy · 30/08/2024 16:16

lilyathena · 30/08/2024 14:00

On that basis @Eyesopenwideawake I need help. Not sure where from/what. That's a great explanation.

I think I've always been a 'bit of a worrier' but in my 50s I've started to be floored by it. I think it's literally mental overload, combined with menopause, which means I can't stop. It's like a habit and if I'm not busy and immersed in something, I am worrying. Single parenting where I shoulder 99% of the responsibility. A desire for high standards. Being a high achiever academically. Being too precise and wanting to sort everything out if it's 'not right'. Worrying about my DC's future, particularly education. And, post-pandemic, a discomfort that so much is just 'not working properly' in terms of social systems that used to support well eg GPs. It's exhausting and is becoming debilitating.

@GreenPoppy how did you find out about genetics on this?

I just stumbled on the genetics when generally internet browsing. if you have ever done an Ancestry DNA test, you can download your DNA data, it's just a text file. It doesn't have all the major health ones, as it's not what they are looking for, but it does have some interesting ones.

If you google 'slow COMT' you'll find info about one of the anxiety genes. I honestly don't know how much is real science, most of my info was from Reddit. The signs of it though fit me exactly, and I also have the specific variance on the gene that denotes a slow COMT (slow clearance of anxiety hormones). Anyway, the supplements are cheap, so it seemed worth a try.

LostittoBostik · 30/08/2024 16:18

My mum has always suffered from anxiety and I watched, internalised and mirrored her behaviour.
I'm trying so hard to break the cycle with my own children but my eldest already has some minor anxiety at primary age.

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