I do find it quite incredible that people can look at those desperate, frantic scribblings, made at the suggestion of counsellors by a person struggling to cope under what must have been well-nigh unbearable stress and torment of mind, singled out under grave suspicion and made an example of by her own colleagues, accused by the doctors she’d worked so closely with in a job she loved (but that was, in itself, a hard and high-stress environment every single day), and then brush it all away with 'unless it’s coupled with evidence that she was suffering from some sort of mental illness which affected what she wrote and how it should be interpreted, and then you might need an expert to help. But that wasn’t the case'.
How do people think THEY might have coped with that intense, unrelenting level of pressure, all day, every day, for months and months, with no end in sight and no idea when or how it might finish? Just woken up every morning and sprung out of bed with a glad smile, looking forward to what the day might hold? Because I sure as heck wouldn’t. I’d have been a wreck curled up in a ball.
If anything, those notes tend to make me see LL as a normal, feeling human being, not the calculating psychopath so many people want to make her out to be.