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Original poster

Teenager go9ng to gp alone

97 replies

Gigglewiggle87 · 27/08/2024 15:18

What age is ok for teenager to go to gp alone. Dd is 14 and I let her go on her own. I was just when others started to allow this .

Sorry title should say going *

OP posts:
NoNameisGoodEnough · 28/08/2024 07:44

I knew teen DD was going to the GP to get the pill. I couldn't go with her due to the time of the appointment and also I felt that if she was old enough to be sexually active, she was old enough to go to the GP and sort out everything that goes along with it. I have accompanied her on other appointments about other matters but I always leave the choice up to her whether I come or not and then whether I wait in the waiting room or come in with her.

I would rather she talked to someone about any concerns she has than talked to no one. If she feels more comfortable talking to a GP, then so be it.

MrsFinkelstein · 28/08/2024 07:50

Musicaltheatremum · 27/08/2024 16:44

How did they check her BP? Can we please get back to proper face to face appointments for patients. This is poor management. You get so much from a patient's body language which when putting young girls on the pill is important. (My rant is at the medical profession not you @Stirmish I'm a retired GP and we were very strict on what was suitable for phone appointments.....they can be very useful. )

Show quote history

You don't need a BP check if it's for the POP.

I'm a Sexual Health Nurse. It's Dept policy we see everyone (incl under 16s) on their own for the history taking. It's for confidentiality, to assess competence and to ensure people can talk freely. After we've got a full history and decided on a plan then, if they want, someone can come in.

reluctantbrit · 28/08/2024 07:51

Rewo · 27/08/2024 16:24

14 is old enough to know about family history and if there was anything important to know op could have just told her prior to the appt.

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DD is 17 and has a vague idea that there was a case of breast cancer but she doesn't know of another case plus a case of cervical cancer as it happened before she was born and it was the other side of the family.

I had to phone my mum and check when I was seen for a lump in my breast to double check some history and I was 45.

She will go to uni hopefully next year and then she will get some more information about health issues which may come up in the future.

@Gigglewiggle87
I may would go with her and stay in the waiting room in case the GP insist on having a parent with her before it would be a waste of time.

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MrsFinkelstein · 28/08/2024 07:52

WetBandits · 27/08/2024 18:03

I’m a sexual health nurse and you absolutely wouldn’t be present! I have to be very firm sometimes with Mums wanting to come into the consultation and have had quite a few make a scene in the waiting room when I’ve said no. It’s never the young person who is adamant they want them in there, either. I’ll see them alone first and then they can have their Mum in if they want to, to go over anything we’ve talked about (e.g. family history) or if they are nervous and want their Mum to hold their hand for an implant insertion.

There are a few reasons for that. 1) I’m never going to get full, honest answers about sexual history from someone whose Mum is there; 2) I can’t ask sensitive safeguarding questions about family life if Mum is there; 3) Mum often has a different idea of what contraceptive method she wants her DD to be on compared to what the DD actually wants.

A couple of weeks ago I had a young lady of about 15 come in for a contraception appointment, very sensible and mature, was quite honest with me that she’d probably forget to take a pill and chose to have an implant after I discussed every method with her. Didn’t want Mum in and was happy with her own decision. She was Fraser competent, so I was happy to fit it. Fitted the implant and sent her on her way, only to have a furious mother come screaming her way up the corridor seconds later that she’d told her DD to ask for pills and calling me every bastard under the sun. Threatening to report me, all sorts.

So nope, no Mums please 😂

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Same same same.

Agree, it raises alarm bells for me if the mum insists on being in.

MrsFinkelstein · 28/08/2024 07:55

WetBandits · 27/08/2024 19:03

😟😬

I hope you’re not on the combined pill! Family history is very relevant in that case. If you sat down in front of me and said you wanted the combined pill and upon exploration of family history it transpired that you’ve had three close female family members with breast cancer, someone in your immediate family has had a stroke <45, or your Mum had a DVT, you wouldn’t be leaving with the combined pill!

I have no idea what goes in in GP land contraception wise sometimes, I had a young lady in recently whose GP had happily started her on the combined pill with history of migraine with aura (for which she was medicated - by them!) and have seen epileptic ladies on enzyme inducers who have been given wildly unsuitable methods of contraception. I’m not bashing GPs, I think they do a fantastic job, but the standard of contraception training some GPs have is scary. I’d never go to a GP for contraception as you just can’t be sure of the level of training/experience they’ve got in it.

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Again agree.

Are you me? 😁

MrsFinkelstein · 28/08/2024 07:59

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 28/08/2024 07:27

Interesting that two Gp’s say they’d want the parent there, but sexual health nurse says no.

I wanted to go on the pill at thirteen due to painful and heavy periods, GP said yes but my DM said no. She was worried other people would find out. GP took her side. 🙄
I wasn’t sexually active and had no desire to be. I should’ve seen the nurse! Not sure we had them back then though.

Not bashing GPs, but as Sexual Health Nurses we have to consider safeguarding, child sexual exploitation and vulnerability issues in a really specific way. GPs don't (IME) the same training as we do.

I know my Dad has never been asked those types of questions at the GPs, we ask at every visit.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 28/08/2024 08:05

My 14 yr old boy asked to be alone, he needed to have the genital area examined and asked that I leave but stayed chatting afterwards for a few minutes. I popped my head in at the end to have a chat about prescriptions etc. Ideally have some presence there but I think its nice that you are willing to trust her. My Mum would never let me talk to the GP alone I remember begging her one time and she said no so I cancelled the appointment and that was that.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 28/08/2024 08:26

My DS was 15 when he started wanting to go alone.

MrsFinkelstein · 28/08/2024 09:12

MrsFinkelstein · 28/08/2024 07:59

Not bashing GPs, but as Sexual Health Nurses we have to consider safeguarding, child sexual exploitation and vulnerability issues in a really specific way. GPs don't (IME) the same training as we do.

I know my Dad has never been asked those types of questions at the GPs, we ask at every visit.

Show quote history

That should be DD, not Dad, obvs.

And also to point out, GP appts are what 7 mins? Our standard appts for under 18s are 30mins, so we have time to ask those questions about safeguarding etc.

PotatoPie111 · 28/08/2024 09:21

I do go to appointments with DD but I make her take the lead. I’m just there to confirm things and talk through if they give multiple options.
She’s probably different as she’s not great at taking in and retaining all the information they give.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 28/08/2024 09:32

MrsFinkelstein · 28/08/2024 07:59

Not bashing GPs, but as Sexual Health Nurses we have to consider safeguarding, child sexual exploitation and vulnerability issues in a really specific way. GPs don't (IME) the same training as we do.

I know my Dad has never been asked those types of questions at the GPs, we ask at every visit.

Show quote history

That’s interesting again- I just thought you’d both have to ask the same questions.

To be fair it was a very long time ago so things may have changed now. I think we had about 20 min GP appointments back then! 😆Wouldn’t get that now.

WetBandits · 28/08/2024 11:34

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 28/08/2024 09:32

That’s interesting again- I just thought you’d both have to ask the same questions.

To be fair it was a very long time ago so things may have changed now. I think we had about 20 min GP appointments back then! 😆Wouldn’t get that now.

Show quote history

We should be asking the same questions! However, we have more time and flexibility in sexual health than GPs do, so things that should be done probably aren’t 😫

Kat1953 · 28/08/2024 12:02

I started seeing the GP alone around that age. Not all the time, I don't think, as I often still wanted my mum with me, but I was independence and comfortable going alone at times.

The key takeaways here is that she's told you that she wants to and you know what it's about. All sounds perfectly fine.

Well done on raising a confident and capable daughter who is close enough to you for this to not be an issue, or for her to feel the need to hide.

tohaveandto · 29/08/2024 10:28

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Original poster
Gigglewiggle87 · 29/08/2024 10:38

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I could . But it's about her independence, confidence, privacy. And what she wants

OP posts:
tohaveandto · 29/08/2024 10:43

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tohaveandto · 29/08/2024 10:44

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Original poster
Gigglewiggle87 · 29/08/2024 11:15

Why do messages keep getting deleted?

OP posts:
Startingagainandagain · 29/08/2024 12:21

As someone who had endometriosis and adenomyosis that went undiagnosed for a long time, I would like to point out that the cause of the heavy periods should really be investigated.

So yes the pill might help but I would also want to know more about any underlying conditions.

So in this case I would go with her to the GP to make sure further tests are done and to also check that your daughter is not anaemic as a results of her heavy periods.

If it was just about contraception my comment would have been to just let her go on her own but in this case I think a parent might help convince the GP to do all the right investigations.

Original poster
Gigglewiggle87 · 29/08/2024 12:28

Startingagainandagain · 29/08/2024 12:21

As someone who had endometriosis and adenomyosis that went undiagnosed for a long time, I would like to point out that the cause of the heavy periods should really be investigated.

So yes the pill might help but I would also want to know more about any underlying conditions.

So in this case I would go with her to the GP to make sure further tests are done and to also check that your daughter is not anaemic as a results of her heavy periods.

If it was just about contraception my comment would have been to just let her go on her own but in this case I think a parent might help convince the GP to do all the right investigations.

There is no family history under lying conditions etc. I'm sure the gp is capable of arranging a blood test if it's needed

OP posts:
LoveSandbanks · 29/08/2024 12:39

Gigglewiggle87 · 27/08/2024 15:24

She wants to go on the pill due to heavy/painful periods..

If it was something worrying /concerning. I would go . Or if she wanted me to

In these circumstances, if she was happy for me to go with her, I would go to help her advocate for herself.

Startingagainandagain · 30/08/2024 08:27

@Gigglewiggle87

Unfortunately my concerns were dismissed for years by several GPs.

So many just fob you off with nonsense like 'periods are supposed to be painful'.

I had years of chronic pain and heavy bleeding before I was taken seriously.

That's the experience of many women and girls with period issues.

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