Teenager go9ng to gp alone

[Gigglewiggle87]

What age is ok for teenager to go to gp alone. Dd is 14 and I let her go on her own. I was just when others started to allow this .

Sorry title should say going *

It seems to say if the teenager seems mature and capable enough to understand that theu can see gp alone.

Mine went in the examination room on her own at 15, but I was available in the waiting room as needed. I think it was the right decision for us.

Yes. Really.

I would think this child is very vulnerable and unsupported by her family and doesn't have a good relationship with her parents because she feels like she can't talk to them about certain issues.

Yes but it also gives GP the right to ask if the parent is aware as well so it is a balancing exercise

i agree with a PP I would take and wait in the waiting room so she fees comfortable in the room but also they know you know

Oh give over. Teenagers in normal households since the dawn of time have had secrets from their parents.

That's not always the case, though - I used to go to the doctor alone because my mother wasn't able to walk or sit for hours (in the days of turn up at opening and wait).

I taught both of mine how to contact the doctor, how to make appointments, what to say, potentially relevant family history and made it absolutely clear that if they didn't feel they were able or wanted to talk to me or more likely their father about something, they had the right to get medical treatment on their own (and refuse if they didn't want something) or to take another trusted adult with them.

I'd far rather they sought advice/help/treatment about anything than not.

I’m a sexual health nurse and you absolutely wouldn’t be present! I have to be very firm sometimes with Mums wanting to come into the consultation and have had quite a few make a scene in the waiting room when I’ve said no. It’s never the young person who is adamant they want them in there, either. I’ll see them alone first and then they can have their Mum in if they want to, to go over anything we’ve talked about (e.g. family history) or if they are nervous and want their Mum to hold their hand for an implant insertion.

There are a few reasons for that. 1) I’m never going to get full, honest answers about sexual history from someone whose Mum is there; 2) I can’t ask sensitive safeguarding questions about family life if Mum is there; 3) Mum often has a different idea of what contraceptive method she wants her DD to be on compared to what the DD actually wants.

A couple of weeks ago I had a young lady of about 15 come in for a contraception appointment, very sensible and mature, was quite honest with me that she’d probably forget to take a pill and chose to have an implant after I discussed every method with her. Didn’t want Mum in and was happy with her own decision. She was Fraser competent, so I was happy to fit it. Fitted the implant and sent her on her way, only to have a furious mother come screaming her way up the corridor seconds later that she’d told her DD to ask for pills and calling me every bastard under the sun. Threatening to report me, all sorts.

So nope, no Mums please 😂

Thank you for the work you do WetBandits

Or it could be that dd does talk to me and (has) if she felt she could not speak to me. She would not have been told me about the appointment. I also want my dd to know that she can talk to me. But its also OK if she chooses to talk to other people besides me if she feels more comfortable doing that .

I went to the doctor about contraception recently and was asked about family history of heart issues as apparently that's relevant to risks.

OP, 14 sounds fine to go alone, if your DD is comfortable with that. My 13 year old DD hasn't needed to go to the doctor for a long time but she's been going to the nurse alone for at least a year now, if not longer. I just remind her about relevant questions to ask.

Thank you so much . I always want dd to know she can approach other suitable adults about things she may not feel comfortable approaching me about. I mean i hope she would always Feel she can talk to me. But she needs to know she had other choices as well.

And I could really imagine the 2 situations you mention happen.

Once they're old enough to ask for privacy, it should be given.

We get a teenage card from surgery which a 14+ yr old can show to reception and if possible get an appointment on the spot without us knowing.

Obviously it's better if our kids talk to us but if they feel they can't we would prefer they talk to someone professional and caring.

I'm a GP, OP. In my experience it's rare for 14-year-olds to come in alone, that tends to start around 16/17 for girls (and somewhere north of 25 for a lot of blokes...). I would see an unaccompanied child at that age, but it's always a bit easier if I know their parent has come with them and is waiting outside than if they've just rocked up completely alone.

Oh wow I'm quite surprised by that to be honest. Not so much the men though 🤣

😟😬

I hope you’re not on the combined pill! Family history is very relevant in that case. If you sat down in front of me and said you wanted the combined pill and upon exploration of family history it transpired that you’ve had three close female family members with breast cancer, someone in your immediate family has had a stroke <45, or your Mum had a DVT, you wouldn’t be leaving with the combined pill!

I have no idea what goes in in GP land contraception wise sometimes, I had a young lady in recently whose GP had happily started her on the combined pill with history of migraine with aura (for which she was medicated - by them!) and have seen epileptic ladies on enzyme inducers who have been given wildly unsuitable methods of contraception. I’m not bashing GPs, I think they do a fantastic job, but the standard of contraception training some GPs have is scary. I’d never go to a GP for contraception as you just can’t be sure of the level of training/experience they’ve got in it.

Sorry, I mis quoted it says should rather than need. So I imagine there is discretion allowed for under 14s. Or at least hopefully there is. But I’m not sure of the fine details, I only noticed it said that because I was looking to see if there was a text reminder service 😂

Of course, and I hope other people have the same relationship with their Mum as I do mine for stuff like that!

However, I always work on the assumption that they don’t have that relationship and will always see them alone to work out what’s what before I start bringing Mums in. I always look after my young ones

Ha. Funnily yes I was on the combined pill for 20 years from ages 15 to 35. Not a single gp or nurse in that time asked about family history that I can remember and I must have seen dozens.I do actually have breast cancer now and enough family to trigger your threshold but I wouldn’t have done when I first went on it. I also started to get migraines in my mid 20’s which I was honest about and was asked about in all appts but all healthcare workers had no issue with that until I also triggered the 35 threshold.

It's fine

are you not concerned about your 14 year old going on contraception and her not telling you?

How do you figure OP knows? Obviously she's told her lol

😅

I'd be fine with that OP. She's told you the reason and it shows a maturity and responsibility for her own health that is good to have. It's all part of growing up and becoming independent. You can discuss family health history with your DC prior to the appointment too.

I have been sent out of a low weight appointment (allowed back later), not allowed into an x-ray (DD1 denied permission for me to attend) and only allowed to make appointments with verbal consent on the phone for both my DDs from 12/13.

I told mine to expect to be asked if they might be pregnant at appointments (and X-rays) whenever it might be relevant. They were both embarrassed by the thought, but it is important they are prepared.

Interesting that two Gp’s say they’d want the parent there, but sexual health nurse says no.

I wanted to go on the pill at thirteen due to painful and heavy periods, GP said yes but my DM said no. She was worried other people would find out. GP took her side. 🙄
I wasn’t sexually active and had no desire to be. I should’ve seen the nurse! Not sure we had them back then though.