How do you explain periods to a curious toddler?

[Ibloodylovetea]

I'm now in my 60's & my son is 28. I was widowed when I was pg & brought him up alone. As the only adult in the house it meant that I had to take him with me when I visited the loo as I couldn't/wouldn't leave him alone even for 5 minutes. This also meant that he witnessed me using sanitary towels (I felt that using tampons in front of him might be a step too far & left them for when he wasn't around). So, in answer to his questions I used to say that everything was all right & I was using a 'special plaster' because mummy's tummies get ready to make a baby every month, but there needs to be a daddy in order for that to happen and, since there was no daddy, mummy's tummy had to get rid of everything that it had made ready for the baby and the mummy had to use a 'special plaster' eg: sanitary towel. I then made a joke about us not wanting a baby wanting their nappy to be changed & keeping us awake at night with their crying. Wondering how other mums deal with this?

Why?

Why are you suddenly wondering about this after 28 years? If other mums "deal with it" differently you can hardly go back in time and change it. And I don't think your 28yo son spends a huge amount of time wondering what used to cause his mum's periods any more, so... what is the point of this thread?

I'm with @Sooka

This is inappropriate

Many will jump on to say that you should have used 'correct medical terminology' but what toddler knows that?

Although circuitous, I think your explanation was adequate if extensive. Most toddlers, like teens, can be distracted with a simple answer delivered in a brusque tone.

Sounds like a reasonable age appropriate explanation to me. Not sure what the issue is.

I never used a plaster analogy because to me tang made it seem like bleeding from a wound. But it’s a reasonable explanation. I think mainly just being relaxed about it and not treating it as shameful is the key- I grew up with a mum who couldn’t even say the word period so I’ve really had to push myself to make it normal for my kids.

Because my son has a 13 month old child &, as he works & his partner is home alone with a small child who is very clingy asked me how I thought she should deal with their child's inevitable questions. I said that was how I dealt with it, but would canvas opinions from other mums.

My toddler would have stopped listening halfway through that answer! I think I just told DD “grownup girls need tampons” and she said “ok”. Later on when she wanted to know a bit more I said it was for when I got my period. Again she was like “ok”, and moved on. DS is mostly interested in throwing them round the room while shouting.

I'm now lone parenting and I've been distracting ds with my phone or a book when I need to change my menstrual cup. He's probably too young for an explanation like that at this stage so I'd be inclined to just be very matter a fact about it and brief. "Mummy has her period, it's nothing to worry about." "Periods are something that girls get when they're a certain age, it's just their tummy doing a clear out". Increase information as they get older and you feel they can handle it?

I think you can go into too much detail with toddlers and young children. It's really a need to know basis isn't it?
I'd just say something like 'Oh it's just Mummy's tissue' ..... 'right shall we go and read that new Thomas Tank book?' or something similar.
They don't need to know and they wouldn't understand it anyway.

Your explanation sounds good, not disturbing at all! I say similar - that the blood makes a comfy bed for a baby to grow but as there's no baby it comes out, and doesn't hurt. Toddlers are very matter of fact and don't need to be distracted when a basic fact of life comes up.

There is plenty of opportunity to change your tampon without having to take a child to the loo with you, nothing to do with being a single parent. I have had open conversations about periods but still value my own privacy. My kids were told in basic terms that women have a monthly bleed that lets them know they’re not pregnant (but this was older than toddler age, at that age, they were oblivious).

I really don't understand why you'd feel the need to tell a toddler all that crap about being ready for a baby and needing a daddy blah blah.

I agree with the first poster, it's not normal.

I always said that mummies and daddies need to know if a baby is coming so that they can get everything ready.
My explanation was very much like yours OP.
My mother told me nothing about periods or sex so many things were a great shock to me. 😳
I wanted to make sure that my children understood that nothing catastrophic was happening.

I used to follow my mum everywhere, including the toilet. She used to use tampons and I remember her telling me it was what grown up ladies used sometimes and that I’d learn about it when I was older. I genuinely didn’t think anymore of it.

I used to say it was a period, which was like a special nest for a baby and it came away each month if no baby.

I remember saying v matter of factly to my son later, he was about 6, that i’d my period (he was not in the loo with me any more!) and he said Oh sorry mum, that there’s no baby. I wasn’t actually expecting to be pregnant, but felt moved that he’d realised there can be a sense of loss with a period.

I told my daughter that it was like a nest that my body made every month in case there was a baby, but if there wasn't, then it came out. I said it was all normal and nothing was wrong.
I don't see why you wouldn't just explain it if he asks, it's not inappropriate. I find it weird that anyone thought what you said was that wrong.

So what do you say when they ask then? It's a completely normal physical process and kids are usually naturally curious.

My DS was disturbed by the blood I felt a need to explain that I wasn't hurt everything was normal & natural. I also (possibly mistaken) that the sooner children introduced (in a gentle way) how babies produced the better. Maybe I should comment that his partner comments that he is the most understanding & supportive BF that she has ever had.

DS started asking me this at about 3 or so. I told him that ladies bleed each month if there's no baby in their tummy. He has always accepted it since then. Occasionally asks a bit more information or details of why but most of the time is totally satisfied with a quick factual explanation.

Ehhhh?

Why would I feed that information to my Toddler that he's clearly still not going to understand anyway. This is so odd

Why would they ask if you choose not to change your tampon/pad in front of them?

My 4yr old asked me why I had blood and I just said "girls get periods, boys don't. Don't worry about mummy, i am ok".
And another time he asked what my tampons were and my pads and I just said they are for mummy when I have my period. He said "oh ok". I don't think he understands nor do I expect him to but he asked a question got an answer. It doesn't have to be an in depth question and answer session!

Mine too - but I was brought up on a farm, my mu assumed that I'd learned it all from the animals coming into season - I thought that there was something wrong with me when I had my first period & hid it for months until my friend's mum told me about them.

Those that say they wouldn’t, trust me it happens. Been on my own with my son since he was 8 months old and there was no such thing as toilet privacy, so much so that he used to wee sat down for a lot of years.

I had him sticking sanitary towels to walls and shouting stickers and he seemed fascinated at unwrapping them and I’d put them high up but curious minds have their ways.

when he did ask when younger I just told him that I wasn’t hurt and similar that when mummies don’t have babies, they bleed instead and he never asked again