How do you explain periods to a curious toddler?

[Ibloodylovetea]

I'm now in my 60's & my son is 28. I was widowed when I was pg & brought him up alone. As the only adult in the house it meant that I had to take him with me when I visited the loo as I couldn't/wouldn't leave him alone even for 5 minutes. This also meant that he witnessed me using sanitary towels (I felt that using tampons in front of him might be a step too far & left them for when he wasn't around). So, in answer to his questions I used to say that everything was all right & I was using a 'special plaster' because mummy's tummies get ready to make a baby every month, but there needs to be a daddy in order for that to happen and, since there was no daddy, mummy's tummy had to get rid of everything that it had made ready for the baby and the mummy had to use a 'special plaster' eg: sanitary towel. I then made a joke about us not wanting a baby wanting their nappy to be changed & keeping us awake at night with their crying. Wondering how other mums deal with this?

I was a lone parent for DS's whole life and my DS never saw me doing this. It's absolutely unnecessary.

Serious question - how do you stop small children following you to the toilet? If you’re in the middle of it and they barge in, what can you do about it? I’m puzzled by all of these mums who apparently get to use the toilet without being followed by their kids and probably the dog or cat as well!

Lock the door! Or tell them not to come in.

Does telling kids not to come in work for other mums then? As soon as I sit on the loo a cat appears and sits in my trousers like a hammock, followed by a dog who tries to get on my lap, followed by at least one child. If I locked the door they would just scratch, meow, bark and cry.

I would leave them to scratch ,bark and cry for the time it takes you to go to the loo.That strategy worked in the 90s!

My dcs have always come into the toilet with me when they were young, but I use a menstrual cup so I only empty at night after they're in bed, and in the morning when DH has them. Never had to deal with period questions.

It's just Mummy's period. It's okay.
You should have a play pen or safe area in every home with a young child so that all adults can have five minutes to themselves.
Then answer THEIR questions as the years go on.

It would be a simple explanation about the uterus being soft and red on the inside and if there is no baby living there then the lining comes out ready for a new one next month. I can not imagine a child under five or six requiring or understanding an explanation on periods.

The real questions would start over the age of eight, I think, and be honest, use proper names and listen well to their questions. Have some age appropriate books always in the book shelves ready to read and discuss.

Sounds fair enough, if colourful, to me. I think I explained periods similarly, but called them periods. I similarly reassured DC it meant no babies, as DC was clear another baby wasn't welcome. :)

It's so important boys, are taught about periods as normal parts of life. Toddlerhood is a good time to start.

No idea how people get to go to the loo in private! Suppose a playpen is possible if you have the space, but I don't like leaving a toddler crying, myself.

But it really isn't safe to leave them outside public loo cubicles!

I remember going to the loo with my mum and she had unexpectedly started her period. I must have been 4 or 5 at the time, and she didn't explain and shushed me as we were in a public toilet. I was absolutely horrified. I wish she had explained that it was normal and why it happened.

When I'm on my period and my DS (he's 2) follows me to the toilet, I tell him it's my period to normalise it. Hopefully so he's never horrified by it like I was.

I told mine that my insides shed like a snake once a month and the shedding comes out as blood so I have to catch it. They like snakes.

I didn't go into anything like that much detail at that age. I used tampons, so they didn't really see much blood. But when they asked what I was doing I said something like "putting in a tampon honey, it's just to stop my period making a mess". And when asked what a period was "it's just something that happens each month to women so we can have babies when we want to."

I don't think we got what a period actually was and how babies were made until they were 6ish.

I’ve always used the correct terms, DD is always in the loo with me - has been since she was tiny. I don’t make a fuss but she understands tampons and pads although I use period pants mostly so not much to see.

Amongst my mum friends it’s common practice to take the kids in with you, weird to leave them outside.

When DD was a tiny baby we had a bouncer permanently in the bathroom!

Playpen isn't much help when you have to take them to the toilet when you're out and about - which is the only place mine ever saw me on the loo.

My son just thought I'd shit in a nappy and I let him go with it at that age

That is hilarious. I might have to start calling tampons that 😂😂

Yeah my 3 month old is crawling all over the place already, so I strapped her into her bouncer while I went to the toilet this morning, and I'm looking at buying a playpen for these situations.

TMI!

I just said sometimes mummy does a red wee wee, as a toddler mine accepted this easily, simple.

As time went on they ended up forgetting this so it worked well to answer a question from a toddler without the answer bothering them and having long term effects.

One of mine knows I wear panty liners and that was just a 'some ladies wear them' answer.

If he had to accompany you into the cubicle, which I doubt, the proper thing to do is to make him face the door with his back to you, giving you privacy.

People really need to establish decent boundaries.

Such a bizarre level of hand wringing over a perfectly normal bodily function on this thread. A simple explanation that it’s a period is fine and if they ask more questions explaining the body prepares for a baby and if there isn’t one then the lining comes out as a period. The special plaster and joking about babies is a bit weird but pretty normal for the 80s as I recall my own mum is still oddly evasive about routine personal matters.

Children are used to the idea that bodies wee and poo, the latter of which is way more disgusting than any period. I doubt children can understand the complexities of digestion either but are perfectly capable of understanding that it’s food that comes out. If you normalize things when they are little there is no need for a big shock reveal when they are older.

Lock the door

I wanted some privacy

Starting to realise why children are going to school in nappies and potty training guides mention letting your child come to the toilet with you to familiarise them. All these nutters leaving their children locked outside public toilets because they're scared of explaining normal bodily functions😅

I think your explanation was weirdly over complicated for a toddler. I just said that it's my period, most girls get them and it's nothing to worry about. When he's older, I'll just tell him the truth (mummy's tummy gets ready for a baby, but if there's no baby then the stuff comes out as a period) when it comes up.

I also told him it's not very nice to stare at people while they use the toilet, so he rarely saw in much detail what I was doing 🤷‍♀️

This thread is gold. Wrap yourself in a large towel while putting a finger in your private area – which no one needs to do to change a tampon, do you think the string is decorative? – while making a toddler, well-known to be cooperative and obedient, face the wall away from you while they’re also calmly in their playpen which you should have even if you don’t have room for one or you’re some kind of period pervert. Also, your period is a snake.

I think it’s more concerning that so many people’s children can’t wait outside a toilet door in their own home.