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Original poster

My friend can't afford her rent. Can anyone help?

126 replies

rivery · 22/08/2024 14:13

My friend is a lone parent to thee children. Boy ages eight, girl aged six, girl aged one.

She has been private renting and the past few years, and her landlord has just put her rent up to an unaffordable amount.

After paying her rent she is now left with only £300 per month to cover everything else, including all bills.

She's been bidding for council homes for a while, but they're like gold dust around here.

Does anyone have any advice at all please? I desperately want to help her.

OP posts:
LutonBeds · 22/08/2024 14:16

Does she work? Get CMS from father? Only thing she can do is either look for a cheaper property or try to increase hours or look for different job.

Melonportal · 22/08/2024 14:17

Is she working? Claiming universal credit? Has she considered applying for a discretionary housing payment?

BleachedJumper · 22/08/2024 14:18

does she work in the area? Is there more affordable rents in the general area?

Is she claiming everything she’s entitled to? Is the father paying child maintenance?

Kitkat1523 · 22/08/2024 14:22

Move to a cheaper area?

Original poster
rivery · 22/08/2024 14:24

Thank you for responding.

She doesn't work, baby has only just turned 1.

She can't afford childcare for the little one and before/after school club for the older two.

Dad doesn't pay maintenance as he would rather not work than pay it. He was abusive.

She claims all she is entitled to.

OP posts:
Original poster
rivery · 22/08/2024 14:25

Kitkat1523 · 22/08/2024 14:22

Move to a cheaper area?

We discussed this, but cheaper areas are quite a way away from here. Also would mean moving the children away from their school, friends, family etc.

Her rent also isn't especially high in the scheme of things, just too high for her.

OP posts:
meltedchocolateandstrawberries · 22/08/2024 14:27

How big is her flat/house? Can she find somewhere smaller?

cgwx · 22/08/2024 14:27

I feel for your friend and I hope she finds the support she needs / new housing.

First thing i'd be doing is encouraging her to call the local council and explain she is no longer able to afford her current private accommodation and will be homeless soon with 3 young children, what can be done? Check her banding, see if it can be upped to the top one. Where I live it goes on a banding system on how in need you are to move. That helps loads when bidding for properties.

Second thing i'd be doing is making sure she applies for anything and everything she can claim for because ultimately she needs the support and if you're entitled to support, then why shouldn't you have it.

Thirdly if the areas hard to get new accommodation in, maybe looking for a new area close by? I know it's hard when kids are settled in school though and sometimes you don't want to move them etc.

Lastly, just being there and being a supportive and caring friend is everything, and it seems you are already doing that. This is definitely something she will need. What a wonderful friend you are :)

Lincoln24 · 22/08/2024 14:28

She doesn't have a lot of options in those circumstances unfortunately.
How many bedrooms does she have? Can she move to a 2- or 1-bed until the baby gets free childcare hours or even until he starts school, then get a job at that point so she can afford a bigger place?
Does the school her kids go to have any Teaching Assistant jobs available? Then she'd only need childcare for the baby.

MoonieDoo · 22/08/2024 14:30

Does she claim the separate Discretionary Housing Benefit to top up her rent if her UC doesn’t cover it? You have to apply through the council website.

HoolsB · 22/08/2024 14:34

She needs to speak to Shelter.

BobandRobertaSmith · 22/08/2024 14:42

She can't afford childcare for the little one and before/after school club for the older two.

But she will get 85% of the childcare costs paid by UC.

Dozycuntlaters · 22/08/2024 14:47

How much of her rent is covered by UC. I have a friend in this situation, she has had to move into a static caravan as that is all she can afford. She was told by the council that the only way they could help her was to stay in her rented house until removed by the bailiffs and then she would be deemed homeless. Your friend is just going to have to move to a cheaper area. What is her money management like?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/08/2024 14:52

She needs to work if she's on universal credit they would fund most of her child care costs. She could also train and register as a child minder if she doesn't want to leave baby.

SaffaIrish · 22/08/2024 14:57

She can get free childcare hours. 15 hours a week for the 1 year old, rising to more when they get older. She may even be able to access more hours through UC.
She should speak to the school and ask for support for educational expenses for her children (uniform etc) with the Pupil Premium Grant - I assume she has applied for free school meals? I know that all children up to a certain age get free meals at school, but there is additional funding received by the school to support their educational progress if they are ‘pupil premium’. She just needs to apply. If the school has a family support worker they may also be able to direct her towards funds that she can bid for.
In terms of work, she could work a couple of days a week as a TA at a school which would mean she wouldn’t have to worry about childcare for the school-age children.
Thrussel Trust also helps with financial advice to ensure she is getting all the help she can, so it’s worth contacting them. They can also help with food bank vouchers of course.
If she cannot afford rent, she will get evicted but she MUST not willingly leave (it will be considered making herself willingly homeless.)She needs to be made homeless by the courts. The council will then have to provide emergency shelter. It may just be a hotel room/hostel accommodation but it will move her higher up the priority list for social housing.

RoachFish · 22/08/2024 14:59

Working really is the only option here. She will get help with childcare costs and at the same time she will be building up a little bit of a pension. She will need it. How long has she been out of work? Is it just a year? It can be very hard to get back into it if she has been a sahm since her oldest was born but not impossible.

Biggaybear · 22/08/2024 15:08

Not enough information regarding income & outgoings.

Obviously £300 after paying rent is not enough for anyone with 3 kids but I'm surprised that she is left with only £300. Surely she gets help with rent & then there is UC.

But ultimately she has to start looking to work.

WitchyBits · 22/08/2024 15:11

I genuinely don't understand people who willingly bring a baby into abject poverty and then complain they can't afford to live. She was living hand to mouth and is actively taking resources from her two older children to keep the younger one. Bonkers.

Has she told us about the rent increase?

WitchyBits · 22/08/2024 15:12

WitchyBits · 22/08/2024 15:11

I genuinely don't understand people who willingly bring a baby into abject poverty and then complain they can't afford to live. She was living hand to mouth and is actively taking resources from her two older children to keep the younger one. Bonkers.

Has she told us about the rent increase?

Told UC about the rent increase

TinkerTiger · 22/08/2024 15:18

rivery · 22/08/2024 14:24

Thank you for responding.

She doesn't work, baby has only just turned 1.

She can't afford childcare for the little one and before/after school club for the older two.

Dad doesn't pay maintenance as he would rather not work than pay it. He was abusive.

She claims all she is entitled to.

Taking a year with your baby is a luxury, many women in professional careers earning well go back to work sooner due to finances.

The rental market is shit, if her place is relatively affordable she will no doubt struggle to find something similar.

I understand not wanting to move, so maybe she will have to go through the process to be made homeless first, unfortunate a situation as it is.

Laundryliar · 22/08/2024 15:19

OP please talk to your friend about birth control. First up she needs to ensure she doesn't not bring any more kids into this situation when she already has more than she can afford. The 3rd child was complete madness and if she hadn't had the baby could easily have worked full time with childcare cost from UC for her two kids in wraparound.
Second, encourage her to look for work. As others have pointed out 85% of childcare costs are paid for via UC and the baby will be entitled to free hours.
Third, if her support network is so important she can't move away from it to reduce her costs, her support network need to get helping her with providing extra childcare so she can work and provide for her kids. Grandparents often help with a school run or two. If they won't help, she doesn't need to stay living near them and can move somewhere cheaper.

BrieAndChilli · 22/08/2024 15:19

if she has a baby i assume it is not included in benefit calculations - I'm not sure if that is still a thing? but probably means she didnt get benefits increase when she had her 3rd child - is that right?

how much more is her rent than the local authority cap? She needs to look around for other private rentals maybe with less rooms to reduce the cost.

or she needs to start looking for some work to make up the shortfall - something during school hours so she only needs childcare for the baby or something evenings if she has someone who can babysit.

unfortunately benefits are limited and shouldn't be a lifestyle choice. she needs to make sure she is claiming for everything she can - council tax single person reduction etc, work out how to reduce her bills and outgoings and find ways to increase her income

Coconutter24 · 22/08/2024 15:19

WitchyBits · 22/08/2024 15:11

I genuinely don't understand people who willingly bring a baby into abject poverty and then complain they can't afford to live. She was living hand to mouth and is actively taking resources from her two older children to keep the younger one. Bonkers.

Has she told us about the rent increase?

Maybe she wasn’t living in poverty? Could it be possible that she was still with the children’s dad until recently, split during pregnancy or not long after baby arrived. Meaning financial situations changed. What is bonkers is people just assuming the situation! Maybe she had a one night stand with the guy and did bring a child into the world while already struggling but you don’t know if that is the case, yet here you are straight to judging

gamerchick · 22/08/2024 15:24

Sounds like she needs to get a job or move to a cheaper area. I'm not sure what suggestions we can give.

Mrsttcno1 · 22/08/2024 15:27

Her only options really are to find somewhere cheaper, or get a job to increase her income.

I suppose the other option, which isn’t at all ideal with young kids, is to let herself be evicted and then present to the council as homeless with children. In that situation they will have to house her but it’s unlikely to be somewhere she would want to live (emergency housing at least where I am really isn’t great and especially with kids).