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Vasectomy recovery

51 replies

MrsH15001 · 21/08/2024 17:52

My fiancé had a vasectomy on Sunday afternoon. 3 days ago and he’s still having me wait on him hand and foot. I am extremely beyond grateful for what he’s done but I don’t think I can cope waiting on him any more. We have two children, 4 & 1. Our youngest has a rare genetic condition and it’s been a hard year and with a hard pregnancy, I’m on the go 24/7 like most parents but I have lots of medical appointments to attend to and usually go these alone whilst he’s at work but on top of it being half term so now my eldest in tow too. Now fiancé has taken just on two weeks off work to recover, day 3 and he still can not make himself a drink. Can not make his own food or even tidy up after him, taking a plate out or washing a glass or picking up laundry. He’s complaining he’s in so much pain so I’m at his call with painkillers alternating every 2 hours as well new ice packs, looking after our children and attending appointments as well as normal house work. I’m starting to loose the will to live, I feel he’s having me on a bit. I’ve asked him kindly if he can start getting back up on his feet soon and doing things around the home that aren’t strenuous but he’s refusing point blank. I’m starting to get really annoyed now and feeling completely unappreciated. I fully understand he can not go to work right now as his job is very hands on, physical with heavy lifting. How can I address this to him without sounding mean. I didn’t get all this when I had my children! I was up and out in the supermarkets 2 days after birth doing school runs!

OP posts:
Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 21/08/2024 17:53

We had sex on the same night...
Your dh needs to man the fuck up.

Froniga · 21/08/2024 17:56

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 21/08/2024 17:53

We had sex on the same night...
Your dh needs to man the fuck up.

Same here!

OhmygodDont · 21/08/2024 18:03

His proper mugging you off. We went shopping as soon as dh left the doctors surgery and he drove.

was at work the next day and we had sex.

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BloodyAdultDC · 21/08/2024 18:06

Wtf?

Did they chop it off?!?

My DP had a ball removed (cancer surgery) and he 'tested it still worked' 3 days later.

If he's still in that much pain you need to book him an appointment at the clinic, URGENTLY, ask them for advice! 🤔

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 21/08/2024 18:09

2 days of soreness then just a dull ache. Tell him to man up.

Chinkeys · 21/08/2024 18:12

What a horrid bunch of responses. There's a chance he has an infection, happened to a friend of mine who advised it was very very painful.

OhmygodDont · 21/08/2024 18:22

Chinkeys · 21/08/2024 18:12

What a horrid bunch of responses. There's a chance he has an infection, happened to a friend of mine who advised it was very very painful.

I mean maybe if his in that much genuinely in that much pain he would be ringing the doctors.

Since his not we can guess his doing a typical man flu type situation and milking it.

shellyleppard · 21/08/2024 18:24

Op I would think he's either milking the situation for all he can get or..... possible infection??? My ex had one and he was walking like John Wayne for a week after the operation. Sending you 💐🙏❤️

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 21/08/2024 18:27

My DH was in a lot of pain and off work for 2 weeks, he is NOT one for swinging the lead either.

Be kind. Would he look after you if you had surgery? He might have an infection so worth a call to the GP.

SauviGone · 21/08/2024 18:31

If he was in so much pain 3 days later that he can’t even get up to make himself a drink, he’d be contacting his GP or whoever carried out the procedure, as per their aftercare advice.

The fact that he pre-booked 2 weeks off work to “recover” tells me all I need to know about whether he’s genuine and I’d put money on the fact that he wasn’t waiting on you hand and foot after you gave birth.

Fwiw my DH had a 10am appointment, went straight to work for a few hours afterwards, came home and wanted sex the next morning before heading back into work.

JohnTheRevelator · 21/08/2024 18:45

Sounds like he needs to man up. Sorry OP,but from my experience of a man having a vasectomy,he's milking it for all it's worth. Agree with previous poster who said that if he's in so much pain after 3 days that he can't even make himself a drink,he needs to contact his doctor.

MrsH15001 · 21/08/2024 18:47

No I don’t believe he’s in as much pain as he’s making out to be. I think he’s taking full advantage to being at home and having me wait on him. I have encouraged to speak to his clinic however he’s adamant it’s just normal. I completely disagree everyone I’ve spoken to have returned back to normal activities but light duties in 48hrs. He’s absolutely milking it but is adamant he’s not

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 21/08/2024 18:48

Next time he asks for a drink op. Offer to run him to your local walk in centre type centre or call his doctors as your ever so concerned.

His response will answer the question.

OhmygodDont · 21/08/2024 18:50

Cross posted.

You have your answer. He doesn’t need medical care as he “claims” it’s normal.

He should certainly of been able to get up and make his own drinks on the same day.

We even got told when dh had his, if he needs more than a paracetamol and is actually painful to move move to go to the doctors or out of hours.

Whatthebarnacles · 21/08/2024 18:50

I suggest you insist on an immediate trip to GP. I bet he declines.

My husband was genuinely sore for 2 days, then gingerly moving on day 3 (he was just nervous more than pain). Day 4 onwards absolutely fine.

However, they didn't use dissolvable stitches, nor tell him that fact. So day 10 he was at the gp asking them to check why the site was looking a bit weird and starting to sting - stitches needed removing and a course of antibiotics "just in case". Gp was baffled as to why no one had told him to return sooner and why did he leave it til it was starting to get tight/sting? Husband felt a bit stupid but how was he to know!

Summary - he should be fine by now and if not he needs seeing to. If he doesn't, he's taking the piss.

Whatthebarnacles · 21/08/2024 18:52

Cross posted. Saw your update.
Hes taking the absolute piss out of you.

Heyheyitsanotherday · 21/08/2024 18:55

Jeeeeez. What a wuss! He’s taking the piss. My husband was out on a family trip the next day absolutely fine. He either needs to get a grip, take some paracetamol and crack on, or get to see a dr as somethings seriously wrong. Don’t let him take advantage op

Keepchangingyourname · 21/08/2024 18:55

Fine within 24 hours. Walked a bit funny the first day. Only had two days at home….. it sounds like he needs to go back to the doctors.

PoopedAndScooped · 21/08/2024 18:58

Give him a choice -

Go to the doctors (go with him and explain what he ‘isnt’ doing)

or he starts doing things

His choice

startstopengine · 21/08/2024 19:03

Just spoke to my DH he said aching and uncomfortable and suggest it would be similar to a coil fitting or smear test.

MinnieMountain · 21/08/2024 19:08

My DH didn’t cycle for few days afterwards. That was it,

rwalker · 21/08/2024 19:11

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 21/08/2024 17:53

We had sex on the same night...
Your dh needs to man the fuck up.

Or he needs to get it checked infections are very common or possibly the stitches are too tight
also 1 in 10 men will be left with a degree of residual pain

did the hospital leave u with a number to ring for aftercare if you have any concerns

Houseplanter · 21/08/2024 19:11

He wouldn't have needed a vasectomy if he treated me like that.

DCINightingale · 21/08/2024 19:12

He is taking the piss. DH went to work that afternoon (wfh) so he could sit quietly with his bag of frozen peas. He looked after himself and had a quietish weelend, and I dealt with the kids. I was considerate of him obviously, but he was fairly self sufficient as long as I kept the kids away from his knackers!

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